Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Quicksand kind of day......

Our DS, 3.5 is in preschool, it's a 3-5 age program for K preparation. I thought this might be good for him to be with a range of ages so that when the 5 y.o.'s were learning more advanced topics/skills, he could join their group, if needed.
So today I drop him off and the board says, "We are learning the letter A today!" My heart sank, went to the car and called my husband. He had a great idea to bring some books for him to read if the teachers find that he is bored and acting out during their academic sessions.
I bring them afterwards and try to be very unassuming and just say, "At home when he is having a hard time, he can chose some books to read and lately, he's been enjoying these, I can leave them if you ever need them. I noticed that you will be teaching the alphabet and I just worry that during this time you may see behavior that is caused by frustration, so these books may help."
Long story short: It was clear that she either didn't believe me or didn't think it was important. But did say, "Sure, leave them in his cubby and if that's what you do at home, if he needs them, we can do that, too."
I scan the room and see simple puzzles and alphabet games, count up to the number 12 games.
It's so hard not to feel some strange pang of something, I don't even know what it is-fear, worry, realization?
In the car on the way home, he actually asked me why the teachers were telling the kids about the letter A and said he thought maybe the other kids can't read like he thought. He was confused. My mommy heart just hurts.
This is year 2 of preschool and I think he thought this year would be challenging.
So we go home and he writes a book immediately on germs because that's what they learned about, then I tried to help him nap but he just counted to 100 over and over trying to get it right. So no nap and just a whirlwind of energy and frustration for the remaining of the day. His brain never lets him rest and he is so compelled to learn constantly, it's like this force within that is almost painful for him at times.
And so I texted my husband, "All those fears I had about Kindergarten, well, it starts now...and so it begins."
Some days it's hard to pick myself up off the floor-figuratively of course, ok no, sometimes literally-LOL.
The lonlieness and constant whirlwind that beginds at 6 a.m. and ends at 7:30 with scarce breaks inbetween, the being on-your-toes 100% of the time, the obsessing over the next academic materials to gather because he's heading that way, I think, oh wait, he's past that? When did that happen? You all know the drill.......just a quicksand kind of day. I sure do love him. I just hope I can be what I need to be for him to be happy.

I don't understand why preschool exists.

May I suggest you consider a 100% play-based preschool? My DD4 goes to one and she LOVES her school. I was so worried about sending DD to preschool but she is thriving and we all couldn't be happier.

Another thing that has worked well for us is redirecting her passion for learning into extra curricular activities. She still loves to read and she still loves numbers but her main focus is to excel in music that is keeping her pretty busy.

Kindergarten is a huge issue for us too but for now, we're in a good place. We love all of DD's teachers.

To be honest I can't see why they are teaching 3 year olds letters anyway.

I would also look for a play based place UNLESS he is the kind of kid who needs heaps of structure and organisation. Also unless the pre school is for day care purposes think about whether your needs might be met better in other ways.

I am sure you can be what he needs. I am just as sure this preschool can't. Do you have other options, such as a play-based/developmental program, with lots of messy crafts and role play? A forest or farm preschool? A Montessori program? Whatever there is out there, there must be a better option that does not expect him to get excited about learning the letter A...

My DD thrived in a play based laboratory program and many other parents on the board have reported that their kids did too. Look at local high schools or universities that use their preschool program as a support for child development, early childhood education, etc programs. These seem the best at being able to meet the needs of our out of the box kids.

Good luck!

I know how you feel. The school year began in earnest yesterday where we live, and I've already had a handful of people ask if DS will be beginning kindergarten next year. I have read the provincial curriculum guidelines for K and grade 1, and he's met most of the end of year targets for both, and exceeded many. We plan to homeschool him for kindergarten, and I'm working on starting a gifted school for grade 1. Suffice it to say my motivation is currently very high! It's disconcerting to know that the public school system--as it stands here--will not be able to meet his needs, as was the case for DH and I.

There's solid research backing the idea that kids who go to preschool have better educational outcomes, though it does not state a reason. So I'll add: because, many children receive little to no mental stimulation prior to kindergarten.

The parents in this particular cohort are not part of the problem that preschool exists to resolve.

@GGG your post rings true, unfortunately it's the gifted parent lament... a quicksand kind of day becomes a quicksand kind of year becomes a quicksand decade of schooling. Meeting their needs may be a 24/7 pursuit because these kids are Gifted All the Time.

For curriculum and learning experiences for your child, you may wish to visit your library, keep reading lists, glean what you can from homeschooling sites, Hoagies Gifted Education Page, and the Davidson Database Resources. Continue seeking academic/intellectual peers, regardless of chronological age.

For psychological insight into parenting a gifted child and for managing your expectations, you may wish to explore:
- "Tips For Parents" articles on the Davidson database,
- SENG articles,
- books from sources including Great Potential Press, Prufrock Press, free spirit publishing, and Magination Press.
- youtube channels from Summit Center, Davidson Academy.

Gifted kids are a small part of the population. Without parental effort, advocacy, and seeking developmentally appropriate opportunities, gifted kiddos may be lost in the shuffle.

DS could read in preschool and I mentioned that to his teachers a few times and just kind of got a shrug with a "whatever" look. About 6 months into the school year one of the teachers stopped me after school and said "Did you know he could read?!" Apparently they had been in the school library and DS picked up a random picture book and started reading it aloud, fluently. The teacher asked him if that's a book he had at home, and memorized, and DS said "no". After that, one of the teachers listened to him read aloud regularly, for a few minutes per day and they seemed to try harder to challenge him.
When he was in 3 year old preschool he knew all the letters, letter sounds, could rhyme words, could do basic addition/subtraction, etc., and as soon as the teachers got out the academic "stations"....he would literally make a run for it. As in go out the door and run down the hallway. Since it was an integrated preshool there was a special ed teacher there and she started doing "interventions" to keep the behavior from getting out of control. I had put him in preschool because I thought it would be good for him to have structure, social relationships, work on fine motor skills, etc. and now I'm wondering if it was a really bad idea, and it just fostered his dislike of school (which he still has). He's much better behaved now but has a major attitude. Today I went in to drop off his slant board and he pulled me over to his desk, opened up the math workbook and pointed to the ridiculous stuff they were doing, like draw a math mountain for 8+5=13. He had a look of despair on his face, not a "this is so hard!" look but "this is so easy I'm going to go nuts" look. The teacher knows the situation--but I don't think she quite grasps how advanced he is. She asked something the other day like "so you can multiply?" ummmmm, he could multiply fluently over a year ago.