Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Slightly skeptic of the concept of Giftedness

This is a really good point. I would get accused of being "immature" in junior high and 9th grade. Looking back on that time, I suspect that the accusations stemmed from the factors you described. At the same time, by that age, I was much more capable of adapting to a new environment than were my peers, and was comfortable in certain situations when they were very uneasy. In all honesty, I'm still like a kid in some ways, in spite of being an adult who takes her responsibilities seriously. My mom laughs because I used to her that I was never going to grow up --- and that I was right. It's a privilege.

VERY succinctly stated. This is precisely what I was getting at-- as a youngster, I thought that adulthood would fix the problem-- and it most emphatically did not. Because there's no way around the fact that as an outlier, my lifetime's worth of experience has been qualitatively different. Ergo, my entire consciousness is also somewhat different, being a product of that lifetime.

Identifying with slivers or facets of others without requiring more of them than that has really helped me. This is a skill that my (HG) spouse lacks, and he finds it perplexing that DD and I are so comfortable with-- well, pretty much anyone. If you can learn to use the extraordinary perspective to gain insight into others, and find a way to identify with pretty much ANY other human being (via perspective taking, which I'd argue is probably something that HG+ persons are uniquely situated to do, having so much mental capacity to THINK deeply and often from a young age), you get the BEST that others have to offer-- because you can make others feel at ease and comfortable in their own skins.

There is something almost magical about it-- people BLOOM around it.

This is why I think that stereotypes about highly gifted people probably owe more to high-profile 2e persons who have communication problems or those with really severe over-excitabilities than they do to PG people without such difficulties. My guess is that many PG people fly under the radar among most of those who know them-- they probably have no idea. Few people who know my DD do. Few people who knew my dad knew just how bright he actually was, either.

That comes with its own challenges, of course-- one may take a long time to come to terms with the notion of sharing only fragments of one's self with others. We seem to have relatively few people who know the WHOLE person that we are. It can feel lonely even if you are popular and well-liked, because it all feels very false when the people who like you barely KNOW YOU.

I suspect that the concept would be better presented as "developmental arc" rather than "giftedness."

Yes.


Giftedness is the inborn trait, and the differential developmental arc is what results from it.

Well, that's an interesting turn the conversation has taken. The hypothesis that childishness and giftedness are intertwined would certainly help answer some questions that have often been asked around my house, namely, "Why don't parents play with their kids?", and "Why have so many adults lost their sense of fun?"

And to combine two related themes--childlikeness and curiosity/interest about other people--I find that the most intellectually gifted people I know have little difficulty interacting with children; little ones often love them, and the delight is reciprocated.

Perhaps because the intellectually curious continue to ask "why?" well after they leave the preschool years?

(And on a side note, the presence of early teens in our house has introduced the regular occurrence of indulgent eye-rolling at the silliness of parents...)

Some of this is an innate personality quirk in that both of them are people-oriented and basically optimistic, so they tend to look for ways that others are interesting, worthwhile, decent, etc. It's an incredible gift, that outlook. But having seen it, I firmly believe that it is one worth cultivating, too.

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I am this way (and my father was too) He had an amazing ability to appreciate people, regardless of whether or not they were unusual, and he combined this with a kind of compassion and optimism. I think I inherited it from him. I too love outliers, although to be honest, the ones who are really far out with boundary issues sometimes scare me (i.e. Glass Castle types) but in general I appreciate people and find lots to enjoy in most people regardless.