Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Thoughts? Advice?

Among important life skills are developing appropriate filters and maintaining healthy boundaries. Considering the audience and one's relationship with the members of that audience can provide guidance as to how much information one may wish to disclose in any particular situation.

For example, parents on forums have often posted that they encourage their children not to keep a secret from the parents. At the same time, parents may coach their children not to share with others information which they may not like to hear others repeat. Hearing information repeated may feel as though the information is being used as ammunition in a disagreement or in a competitive situation.

If one shares personal medical information with an audience of strangers, that information is no longer private and may be repeated by other students/parents/teachers, etc.

Okay, we talked about what he was trying to convey.... Why was he including his EDS and dysgraphia but not, say, his severe peanut allergy? We talked all about it and he said he wants people to know that he is a writer who couldn't write. He feels that is his identity. He is a writer who has had to persevere and find ways around his disabilities to do his passion. This has really shaped his life and will continue to do so. So, I talked about the stuff you guys said here re boundaries, time and place, etc. and the things said by his peers being too negative. We talked about all of that and then I asked him to re-write it with those things in mind and what he wants people to know about him in a snapshot.

So, when he re-wrote, he wrote: "DS dislikes school but loves learning. He has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Dysgraphia, which make handwriting almost impossible, but when he can write using the computer he is a beast! DS loves to read and write fantasy fiction and sci-fi. His other favorite things are playing on the computer, particularly Minecraft and Warcraft 3, and playing ice hockey for {local} Team. He is eight years old, turning nine, and is going into the third grade at --- Elementary"

I edited it to:
"DS dislikes school but loves learning. He is eight years old, turning nine in September, and is going into the third grade at -- Elementary. DS has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Dysgraphia, which make writing by hand almost impossible; but, there is no limiting his creativity when he can write using a computer! DS loves to read and write fantasy fiction and sci-fi. His other favorite pastimes are playing on the computer, particularly Minecraft and Warcraft 3, and playing ice hockey for [Local] Ice Hockey Team."

I am thinking that's better? Apparently, it is important to him to share that he is an aspiring writer who has dysgraphia but will not let that stop him from achieving his dreams.

Thanks for all of your help! I know it's a bit trite and I am a little dense - thanks for your patience and help! I am glad I ran it by y'all and you all took the time to advise. I think we are in weird situation, most 8 year olds don't have this kind of life experience/challenge hanging over them. Most of them really do just have fun playing baseball. love school and do well at school, etc... So things like this can be a little more complicated with our kiddos

He wants to keep the description of him being "a beast" on the computer ... (eye roll).

On my phone so this will be brief - just wondering if you or your ds have read any of Avi's books? He's a children's author who is dysgraphic - my kids and I all like his books

pb

No... is Avi the author's name?

He did read "Eli, the Kid Who Hated to Write" and loved it.
He really likes fantasy, tho. Right now he is reading the Seventh Son series and FLYING through it. They are creepy imo. But he loves that stuff.

Oh, and to answer your other question about whether or not he was permitted to use a keyboard for the camp - the camp was called "young writers on computers" so it was about using the computer to write... The other camps offered were all by handwriting. Although, they were handed a copybook and told to "write their notes and jot down their ideas in it. He wrote one line in it. He wanted to do the camp last year but couldn't because of the handwriting. Technically, he wasn't suppose to be able to do the computer one this year either b/c it was only open to kids who had finished third grade (and he just finished 2nd) but I was tired of him not being able to do any creative writing camps b/c of his dysgraphia so I pushed for him to allowed in the computer writing camp. And they were really pissy about it (next time, I am just gonna lie about his grade!) But he enjoyed the camp immensely and I am so glad he got to do it. He loves to write and is creative. He really wants to be a writer when he grows up - he wants to write books, screenplays, and even video games. But he needs work on organizing his writing. Really and so this camp wasn't just about him doing something he loved, I do want him to get some instruction on how to organize his writing and how to do his craft/art.

I actually really liked that part! Overall, I think the rewrite does a great job of straddling the line between his honest feelings and what is socially acceptable and can be (accurately) conveyed in a "sound bite."
Just fyi, I know many teachers encourage younger students not to share personal information because they are worried that the parents will be upset. Many parents are extremely private re: their children's medical diagnoses and I have teacher friends who were yelled at by parents when it came up in class, even though at times the student him/herself started the discussion. So, I would reassure your son that they most likely did not want him to feel in any way ashamed, but not all kids are as smart and mature as him and therefore able to make appropriate decisions on what medical info to share. I'm sure if they thought you had worked with him and were okay with sharing it (say in an "All About Me" poster that was done at home), they would have been fine with it.

I think I would let him stick with his current version. :-)

I'd let him stick with his version too. I think his version is more likely to connect with his peers. My 8 turning 9 DS would totally say 'beast'.
You've done a great job talking him through the tone and helping him convey what he wants to say so now let him have his voice.

Oh yay. glad to read this because "Beast on the computer" is staying in He was not having any of my sentence! SO I am happy to hear it sounds okay. It is very difficult to censor this kid he wants to say what he wants to say.

Sounds like an awesome resolution and I'm glad he feels like he's being heard. I also really like the rewrite, more balanced without losing his message or voice. Clearly overcoming obstacles is a big part of his identity and I think that's awesome!

As a side note, DD had an assignment last year to create a book cover (summary, author blurb, drawing). She gave herself illustrator credit and wrote herself a hysterical bio (I think she had herself winning a Noble Peace Prize and a Caldecott by the time she was 6 or something).