Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Not pay attention like the other kids - not adhd

For as long as I can remember, DD6 has had issues with being well behaved in class. By being well behaved I mean following directions, listening/paying attention, listening to ALL the instruction when given a task, cease talking when asked, impulsivity, etc..etc. It's not constantly happening, but enough to keep the teachers busy. By class I mean everything from kinder, preschool, ballet and so on. When she is engaged, she is extremely enthusiastic and energized.
Her behavior isn't bad enough to get meeting requests from teachers but it is painfully obvious to me, because in my experience girls tend to have less of these issues than boys. I really haven't met girls like her with so much intensity and energy. Also my older DS is a model student. First I chalked it up to her age. Then I noticed she was the oldest in her ballet group and she only followed directions when she felt like it. She is often sent to the back of the room for minor misdeeds in school.This is especially a problem when she is dealing with repetition. She is no longer in ballet and is now in TKD. She loves this but when she gets the soft teacher, she goofs off. The tough teacher, and she is on fire!
I think perhaps this is why I was in denial about her being HG+. I was constantly worried about her behavior in class wondering if she had adhd. However, I am pretty confident she does not have adhd and neither do her doctors/teachers/educational psychologist.

When I picked my DD from her summer camp today (invent camp), I noticed again she was goofing around and I realized that group placement was probably not ideal. She really wanted to be with the older kids. This girl really thrives on challenge and competition.

Do any of you have DCs like this? Yes, I have read about behavior problems when these kids are not challenged but is this what you all experience?
Or am I in denial and I should be thinking she has attention issues?!?

Master of none....sent you a pm

Poor responses to boredom and boundary testing seem pretty normal to me for very bright kids. I've begun thinking it can be a key part to some kids' giftedness to have a fine instinct on how they need to learn and to try and protect themselves from methods that are counter-productive or detrimental.

If you can acknowledge that as a basis, you may be able to have conversations with your daughter on effective reactions to certain states of mind and situations.

My DS is persuaded by value decisions he can make.

So, things like:
"If you miss some instructions and get something wrong, the teacher won't know if you don't understand it or just missed the instructions. They'll treat it as you don't know."

or discussions about respect as two way street

From what I am learning with my DS7, when a HG+/PG child is not challenged or interested in the topic/task it has a big impact on his/her attention span. My DS7 has "selective" attention. When he is really challenged or interested in a task, DH and I joke that a bomb could go off near him and he wouldn't notice.

However, most of the time at school this past year he was off task and didn't pay attention during class. I observed this first-hand because I volunteered in his classroom quite a bit. Also, as part of an evaluation done this past year by a neuropsych, they did a classroom observation where he did not know he was being observed. They found his male peers to be on task 70% of the time, and he was on task 35% of the time. The neuropsych does not feel he has ADHD, but thinks it is because 1. He is bored and 2. He has DCD which has a big impact on his ability to handwrite. If there is a task involving handwriting, he is a master at avoiding it.

Slammie, you are not alone. DS6 has A LOT of issues with attention in the classroom and beyond. This week, he's at an art camp. Art is something he has always loved but even with interest, he needs breaks.

BlessedMommy you are describing my DS9. I don't think my son has a problem with dysgraphia but when he is focused he is incredibly so. When he is not interested he goes someplace else in his head.

slammie, no, you are not alone. DD9, has always been my, um, less-compliant child. She is loud when she is silly and gets carried away. She's extroverted, VERY self-directed, self-entertaining, and well, strong-willed. I've attributed her behavior mostly to personality, because DS6 finished K with literally PERFECT behavior marks - every single semester - and I've raised them both the same. DS is more introverted and MUCH more sensitive. DD's behavior marks have never been perfect, although she HAS improved with maturity.

DD DEFINITELY has selective attention. If something interests her, she is a SPONGE. If not, though, her inclination is to walk away and find something more interesting to do. DS, on the other hand, would instead sit there politely, appear to listen, and later say he was "SO BORED!"

Thanks all. It's so helpful to hear similar stories from other parents going through similar challenges. I need to get this point across to the principal and 1st grade teacher I am meeting in a few weeks since she is not being grade skipped.

Loy58, your dd sounds so similar to mine! And my DS is introverted and very sensitive also. Good to hear it does improve with time!