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I have 2 gifted children. With my son, I fought very hard to have him start K early. He has been at a private school since K and is going into 6th now. He is a pefect fit, academically and socially.
My daughter, scored much higher on IQ tests. She was reading fluently at 2. I have her at the same private school and have fought for years to try to get her advanced to no avail. The school's reason is social. They have been worried that she has no close friends in her grade level but contradictate themselves by saying she is a better social fit where she is than if she were to move up. Honestly, I have made every effort to go to the school and observe. She is very different from the kids in her class. Basically, she has nothing in common with them. She is more concerned with saving the enviroment than with Barbies! To me, she seems so much more mature than her age peers.
This past year, while in 3rd grade, she was pulled out for 6th grade reading, spelling, vocabulary and science. Still, they will not let her skip 4th grade and move to 5th! Her standardized test results came back with 99% across the board. She has a lot of anxiety during the school year, only at school. She is fine at home and during the summer.
Once again, I requested a grade skip and was told no. Now my options are to send her back as a fourth grader or to homeschool.(I have exhausted all efforts to find another school here that would compare or fit her needs and public school is not an option)
What would you do? Does anyone else out there HS their gifted child? If so, what cirriculum? How do you determine their grade level? Has anyone had success with virtual schools?
I am trying to research as much as I can. My gut instinct is to HS, my husband wants to send her back and only pull her out to HS if the anxiety comes back. I really would appreciate any and all comments or thought on the matter.
Thanks in advance.
~Gatorgirl

Hi Gatorgirl and welcome.

I'm glad your son is being served well in school. That's promising that they will pull your daughter and subject accelerate 3 years, I wish they would do that at DD's school!
But my eldest DD is happy now but is also working comfortably 3 years ahead grade level in most subjects, just at home.

DD6 is very gifted but it doesn't seem to translate as well to academics. She isn't as interested as DD8. We have experienced emotional problems for her and I've definately seen a pattern between anxiety during the school months, none during the summer months.

We are going to send her to school with the expectation that if the anxiety resumes she will be homeschooled. DD8 wants to go to school, but if she ever says she would rather homeschool, we will make the adjustment immediately.

I have been preparing for homeschooling for the last year and finally feel like I am ready to do so it goes that way.

There are some awesome homeschooling parents here, you are sure to get some really great feedback.


Neato

Neato~
I guess I should clarify a little bit. Yes, the school pulled her out for 6th grade work BUT it was one-on-one in the directors office AND her regular (3rd grade teacher) STILL made her do the 3rd grade work as well, which contributed to her anxiety doing double the work. This makes my decision harder. If she can do the higher work, why still make her do the regular work??
Thanks for replying.
~Gatorgirl

Wow! That's not so great. I really don't understand why they would make her do the 3rd grade work if they realize she is that advanced as to warrant 6th grade work. Duh.
Unfortunately I've heard that before.
Have you asked them to excuse her from 3rd grade work? I'm not sure how they could not especially since they are providing the 6th grade curriculum so they must be convinced she is proficient in 3rd.
I think you have to have the director make this decision, sometimes the grade level teacher doesn't get it.
If they are just trying to cover their bases, ask them to administer a 4th grade achievement test like IBTS or CAT when she starts school.
Maybe they will excuse her if you offer to sign a waiver releasing them of all liability if your daughter becomes a juvenile delinquent because she didn't do enough 4th grade worksheets?
One idea is to try and contact the director now, about this. Most administrators are accessible in the summer and they sure are a whole lot less busy!
Thats all I can come up with right now. Hope it's helpful.

I have been meeting with the director all summer. I have another meeting next week which my husband will attend. They have basically told me:
1. They realize that her needs have not been met
2. They could move her to 8th grade and she could still do the work.
3. Under no circumstances will they allow her to grade skip due to social reasons

I am completely frustrated! Is there any other resources for me, besides the school, to get her tested at a higher grade level?
Thanks.

I agree that the double-work thing is NOT okay! Dottie and 'Neato are right: if you stay with the school, fight that hard!

We're homeschooling. I'll be happy to answer any questions you have if I can, either here on the public forum or in a private message. A number of us are in the HSing boat.

On the bright side, HSing a GT child is really pretty easy most of the time, since they're little learning machines. And since they learn things so much faster than most other kids, you don't have to spend a lot of time on school, so there's time for lots of interesting extras like forign language, music lessons and sports, while still giving kids time to play. If you find the supports you need (HS groups, childcare, forums, etc.), it can be a really good solution for a GT child.

And it is perfectly acceptable to HS one child while having the other in a traditional school situation. If your son is well-placed, then don't feel like you have to pull him out. I sure wouldn't!

If there's anything I can help with, let me know.

K-

"along with second guessing ourselves pretty often"

You are not alone.

Every year it seems to get worse. I think that skipping a grade would help her more socially. All of her friends outside of school are 2 years older than her and she doesn't have any problems.
The more I research, the more I feel that HS would be the best for her. I just have to convince my DH and that can be hard. Then there is the issue of cirriculum. I really don't even know where to start choosing one. Any help would be appreciated. I would love to know what some of you have used, your likes or dislikes about it, etc.
Thanks for listening.
~Gatorgirl

There is a lot of data out there that says that these highly gifted kids do better socially when they are with their mental peers and not with their age peers. Would showing them any of this research help convince the director, or is he dead set on it?

I don't have any of the names off the top of my head, but I have read tons of books on this subject over the last six months. I can look up the names if you are interested, and I'm sure others here are more knowledgeable than me. My DS8's social happiness increased greatly when he was accelerated mid-year from 2nd to 3rd in a public school. He is still not being full challenged academically, but he interacts so much better with the older kids. It was a good first step in a very complicated dance.

I have several articles showing the current research. I have always told them that she does better with older kids and I just get that look like I don't know what I am talking about and that they know more than me. Very frustrating. In fact, I got the same "look" when I asked for a grade skip.

It looks like hs may be what she needs. Like somebody else said one year grade skip won't solve the problem and at this point she gets mostly one on one with a teacher plus an extra boring work anyway.

Join TAGMAX mailing list. Curriculum is often discussed there. Check the homeschool buyers co-op. Look at EPGY if you can afford it. Some of the curricula have a free placement tests. It may be worth trying them even if you don't care for the curriculum itself (k12, Singapore Math, Saxon Math. You may also let your daughter choose what she wants to learn.

You cannot really do worse than school. I think that was Kriston's motto the first year. If you look at it that way you have nothing to worry about

For the record we plan on homeschooling DS5 next year.

Just don't use a boiler plate curriculum IMHO. Ala carte is the way to go when picking and choosing.
If you are going to go to effort of individualizing curriculum for her...you might as well specialize it........
There are limitless possibilities....just start looking.

I think ALEKS math and Singapore math are solid choices for math so you can avoid gaps that sometimes occur when you are "following your child around" in the pursuit of education.

Many people like EPGY distance courses. We're neutral, have never pursued them because of cost.

My son and I used online resources more than anything else, but I did buy the What Your __ Grader Needs to Know books to use as a guide.

For spelling, we used the Rebecca Sitton High Frequency Word List that we found online and we went over the basic spelling rules, also found online.

For vocabulary, he liked SAT Vocabulary Cartoons and when he finished those, he made up his own mnemonics to remember definitions and he also got in the habit of looking up any word that he didn't know the exact meaning of. He has used Grammar with a Giggle books and different online sources for grammar like Power Proofreading and Every Day Edits.

He used Aleks for math.

For reading, I let him read whatever he wants. He sometimes takes the quiz on sparknotes.com after we read a classic book.

He liked the Story of the World books and history encyclopedias and reading historical fiction to go along with whatever history he was studying. He watches a lot of History channel. He plays computer games like Age of Empires and Empire Earth.

For geography, we just use National Geographic magazine, an atlas, a globe, and map puzzles and online geography games.

He looks up a lot of things on Wikipedia. Sometimes he likes to click on "random article" to read just for fun.

He watches shows on the science channel. He is reading a college level science history book. He watches science videos on cosmeo.com.

He is interested in the news so he reads the news online.

He watches trivia game shows and when he doesn't know the answer to something, he looks it up online.

Honestly, curriculum is the easy part of homeschooling a GT child. They learn so fast and so happily that it's a lot easier than you think it will be. I promise!

Before you do anything else, check out the HSing laws in your state. Make sure you know what is required of you and by what deadline. Some states just require a letter to the superintendent informing them of your plans, while others require lots of hoops, perhaps even registering as a provate school. If you're even considering HSing, look into it.

Second, do some research and decide what kind of home schooling you want to practice. This is a practical matter to help you choose from the astonishing amount of material that's out there. There are LOTS of types of home schooling! Personally, I'm going with the "eclectic" approach because it pretty much means we can do whatever DS6 and I want to do in whatever form works best. But you may want to use a more structured aproach. Differnt strokes for different folks, but reading up can help you to consider what will best suit you and your DD so that you don't spin your wheels in something too structured or not structured enough for your needs.

Also, I would start considering personality issues--both hers and yours. Is your daughter going to be happier to be alone much of the day, working independently, or is she an extrovert who will need lots of social time? Either is totally do-able for HSing, but it helps to know which you're working with. And don't neglect your own needs. I am an introvert who needs time alone, and the biggest challenge we faced when starting HSing was my not getting enough time to myself. Ultimately, I needed childcare help so I didn't lose my mind. Be sure you take care of yourself, not just your child. Think of the airplane warning: put the oxygen mask on yourself before you help others! If HSing doesn't work for the WHOLE family--including you!--then it doesn't work. Find a way to make it work if you're going to do it.

And yes, LMom is totally right: aim low your first year! You want to make a year's worth of progress for a year's worth of work. That's it! Anything else is gravy. And I'm betting that if you locked your daughter in her room with a pile of books, she'd be able to manage a year's worth of progress, right? So don't stress out about it. In the absolute worst case, she makes no progress at all. She's what? 3 years ahead of grade level now? So don't worry about it. (And trust me, she WILL make progress! ) So start with making sure she loves to learn, and give yourselves time to hit your stride. Don't worry about progress for a while. As long as she isn't watching TV and playing video games all day (this is one rule that almost ALL HSers agree about: no TV or video games until schoolwork is done!), but is reading and writing and drawing and building and thnking all day, then she's doing what she should be doing.

And be sure your DD is on board with HSing before you make the decision to HS. If she doesn't want to HS, then it won't work. Period. She has to buy into it and feel responsible for her own education. She has to understand that you're in this together, you're a team, and that you will both make mistakes along the way. Heck, you've never done this either! So good communication between you two is a must. She has to recognize that you are promising the state to give her an education, and you can only do that if she cooperates. If you have that talk, then motivating her to work will get a whole lot easier.

Okay, now to the inevitable curriculum question...

Here's my answer to the same question not long ago. Pardon the re-post, but it's a long answer, and the same one I'd post now:



I still do! Write back if I can help with anything.

Yeah, what Kriston said! LOL, I think she has covered all the bases.

Do you know why your husband is reluctant to try homeschooling? We may be able to help more if you know if it's an issue with being different, loss of income, stress, the socialization issue...

My husbands concern is that he doesn't think that I am disciplined enough. I am not sure where he gets that idea except that when the kids were little, all of my friends did "Baby Wise". It didn't work for me! I feel it was because gifted kids are different. Mine have never required much sleep. Never took naps etc. My son stays up till 11 at night but he is always up on time, gets straight A's and never once has a teacher complained that he is tired.
Also, this past year with my son, we had an arrangement. He didn't like to be told when to do his homework. He is very independant. The agreement was he was responsible to do his homework, whenever he wanted under 2 conditions. It had to be done by 9pm and if he ever missed homework or his grades started dropping then he would do it when we said.
This arrangement drove my husband crazy! He didn't understand why he just wouldn't do his homework when he got home and be done with it. But my son was very happy with it and so was I. I no longer had to fight with him to do it.
I guess I am just very laid back and do not have a set schedule. HS would still work though, wouldn't it? Plus my DD is a very self directed learner. As it is, she comes home from school and makes her own assignments. She is constantly researching and making Powerpoint presentations on the things that interest her. At this point, the school actually told me that she can no longer do PPP but has to come up with other ways to do projects. So she has made private wiki's and does alot with Windows Movie Maker.
Also, I live in Florida and I have been told it is pretty easy to HS here. There are also umbrella schools that keep the records and provide testing. Also, my neighbor is a retired school teacher and she tutors alot of the HS'ers so I would have alot of support.
When I asked my DD what she thought, her first reaction was "What about my friends?" but to be honest she really doesn't have any in her grade level. Outside of school, she has no contact with kids in her grade, not that we haven't tried. I told her she would meet new people that have more in common with her and that she would be able to work ahead. That got her excited. Any ideas how to convince DH?
Thanks.
~Gatorgirl

Again, we are not homeschooling.......yet.
My DH was convinced the girls would be ready to go to college and somehow we would suddenly find that they didn't know anything.
My style is exactly like yours!
I am strict with behavior issues: ie being rude, torturing your sister, language, respectful attitude towards adults, etc.
However, when it comes to school/homework I feel the kids do better when they "buy in to it". "Because I said so" just doesn't fly. I'd rather they spend their energy and intellect productively completing something because THEY have a reason to, rather than spend it creating subterfuge to my homework expectations.
I have been accused by one particular mom of: Having no control over my kids. However, that particular mom is eerily similar to the Chapman mom I just read about.
I think my husband misinterprets my style just a little bit. But he trusts me. When I showed him I could administer the IBTS at home every year to gauge their progress(That's just what the school does!) He said, fine, go for it.

I think being laid back is a real asset! You wouldn't stress out about hs, you would let her show you the way and won't follow any curriculum to the t. I think flexibility is the key and it's quite obvious that your children are very independent and can take care of themselves if given chance.

Would your DH be willing to read books about gt children? Or at least a few articles.

I personally like this on a lot

http://www.stephanietolan.com/is_it_a_cheetah.htm

May be that could be enough of eye opener for him. May be you need him to realize that she would be better off if she wasn't at school.

Another idea is write down all the things she would like to learn in next few months and show it to DH. You could also make a list of things she already does on daily basis out of the school, so he can see that DD would learn new things. Signing her up for one or two online classes could also help.

Find a local hs group and see if they have any classes. DH may like to see what options there are beyond school settings.



Good luck

Given what you've said, HSing would absolutely still work for your family, Gatorgirl!

I think your DH is way off on this one. (No offense!) But your flexibility with your son and how you solved that homework problem so well says to me that you'd do amazingly WELL as a HS parent! It's a plus for you, not a minus!

Here's my thinking: Did the homework get done? Were there any ill effects from the way it got done? Was it late or poorly finished? Was your DS happy and cooperative because of how you approached the problem? Then I'd say that was a truly successful bout of problem-solving! The only thing that I can see to trouble your DH is that you thought creatively to do what worked best for your child rather than being a hard-nosed "Toe the line or else!" kind of person. Well, in HSing, working well with your kid is a plus, not a minus! There is no "one right way" in HSing, there's just the way that works for your kid.

One of the benefits of HSing is that you can work when it suits you and play when it suits you. Your DH seems to be assuming that you'd be doing the "school at home" method--sit in a chair for 7+ hours and do everything out of schoolbooks with the parent as the teacher/expert--but I know of literally *zero* HSers who use the "school at home" approach. It's boring and hard and especially for a GT child, it's just flat unnecessary to spend so much time on schoolwork. With my 7yo, we spent about 2-3 hours on schoolwork each day roughly 4 days per week. And I worked him pretty hard! In that time, we covered 2 years of math plus a good chunk of "real" geometry (because he was bored with arithmetic and not quite ready--at age 6--to memorize his times tables). We studied J.S. Bach because he got fascinated by his life. We read about tide pools and the animals who live in them. We read about Sacagawea and other Native Americans, he learned about archaeology and read lots of history and poetry and fiction. His reading improved by at least 3-5 grade levels over where he started in less than a year! (I'm not exactly sure which because I didn't find a good above-grade test for him.) All that in 8-12 hours per week of work. And I'm not including all the art classes, Spanish classes, P.E. classes, engineering, learning about the Olympics and trying out the sports (thank you, HS group!)... It was a good year! He really loved the work, too!

From late elementary school-high school, the kids tend to work 3-5 hours per day or so. That's usually plenty. The rest of the time is spent on fun extras or a child's particular interests.

If you think about it, that amount of time makes sense. Consider how much school time is spent waiting in line for the the bathroom, waiting for the rest of the class to catch up, moving in a line from here to there, dumb convocations...When you HS, you don't have any of that. And if your child likes to read before bed, well, that counts as schoolwork! If you're a morning person and you want to get school out of the way at the crack of dawn and play the rest of the day, that's great. If you are not a morning person, and you'd rather work in the afternoon when the caffeine is working for you, that's great, too.

You're flexible and your daughter is self-directed...sounds like a great HS situation to me!

Another thought... You say that both children are in a private school. Is there a public school with a serious GT curriculum or at least the desire and flexibility to work with your daughter nearby?

YEs what Kriston said! I read in a book written by a PS teacher that HSing should take about 2-3hrs/day in the elementary years. 1on1 instruction is much more effective and you don't lose time in all the transitions.

My DH is more of the "do you homework as soon as you get home." I"m that way as well but I was willing to try to let DS regulate his own time. That worked better but did take some reminders. I think the goal is to make them take ownership of their learning, be more independent...sounds like you're more than half way there!!!! That's a plus in the "Vote for HSing" category if you ask me, rather than a negative.

Gatorgirl-

Are you married to MY husband seven years ago? LOL, he was concerned about the S factor, and he was also worried that I am disorganized, undisciplined, and have a tendency to jump from thing to thing. I have actually realized in the last few years (since two of my kids were diagnosed) that I probably have undiagnosed ADD. It explains so much about me.

Nevertheless, my kids are thriving and I'm still thrilled to be homeschooling them. We tried four different traditional schools for my oldest, and none of them worked as well as home based education.

The key is to be flexible. Child led is working great for me. As the kids get older, they have more work assigned to them, but they are still permitted a great deal of choice in exactly what and how they learn. For you, it might be that when is a choice too. I find that my kids do their best academic work in the mornings, so that's our school time and afternoons are largely free for socializing and extracurriculars.

Encourage your kids to become experts in whatever excites them, while shoring up those areas that might potentially be weaknesses. Balance- life's all about balance!

My kids are 19, 11, 8, and 3. They are very different from one another, but all PG and we've adapted homeschooling for each as they've grown. I think my oldest was a more interesting college applicant for his homeschooling transcript, and he wouldn't have been able to acquire 50 college credits in high school if he attended traditional high school.

Here's a short piece on homeschooling gifted kids:
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art27311.asp

hth!