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    Joined: Jul 2008
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    I have 2 gifted children. With my son, I fought very hard to have him start K early. He has been at a private school since K and is going into 6th now. He is a pefect fit, academically and socially.
    My daughter, scored much higher on IQ tests. She was reading fluently at 2. I have her at the same private school and have fought for years to try to get her advanced to no avail. The school's reason is social. They have been worried that she has no close friends in her grade level but contradictate themselves by saying she is a better social fit where she is than if she were to move up. Honestly, I have made every effort to go to the school and observe. She is very different from the kids in her class. Basically, she has nothing in common with them. She is more concerned with saving the enviroment than with Barbies! To me, she seems so much more mature than her age peers.
    This past year, while in 3rd grade, she was pulled out for 6th grade reading, spelling, vocabulary and science. Still, they will not let her skip 4th grade and move to 5th! Her standardized test results came back with 99% across the board. She has a lot of anxiety during the school year, only at school. She is fine at home and during the summer.
    Once again, I requested a grade skip and was told no. Now my options are to send her back as a fourth grader or to homeschool.(I have exhausted all efforts to find another school here that would compare or fit her needs and public school is not an option)
    What would you do? Does anyone else out there HS their gifted child? If so, what cirriculum? How do you determine their grade level? Has anyone had success with virtual schools?
    I am trying to research as much as I can. My gut instinct is to HS, my husband wants to send her back and only pull her out to HS if the anxiety comes back. I really would appreciate any and all comments or thought on the matter.
    Thanks in advance.
    ~Gatorgirl

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    Hi Gatorgirl and welcome.

    I'm glad your son is being served well in school. That's promising that they will pull your daughter and subject accelerate 3 years, I wish they would do that at DD's school!
    But my eldest DD is happy now but is also working comfortably 3 years ahead grade level in most subjects, just at home.

    DD6 is very gifted but it doesn't seem to translate as well to academics. She isn't as interested as DD8. We have experienced emotional problems for her and I've definately seen a pattern between anxiety during the school months, none during the summer months.

    We are going to send her to school with the expectation that if the anxiety resumes she will be homeschooled. DD8 wants to go to school, but if she ever says she would rather homeschool, we will make the adjustment immediately.

    I have been preparing for homeschooling for the last year and finally feel like I am ready to do so it goes that way.

    There are some awesome homeschooling parents here, you are sure to get some really great feedback.


    Neato

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    Neato~
    I guess I should clarify a little bit. Yes, the school pulled her out for 6th grade work BUT it was one-on-one in the directors office AND her regular (3rd grade teacher) STILL made her do the 3rd grade work as well, which contributed to her anxiety doing double the work. This makes my decision harder. If she can do the higher work, why still make her do the regular work??
    Thanks for replying.
    ~Gatorgirl

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    Wow! That's not so great. I really don't understand why they would make her do the 3rd grade work if they realize she is that advanced as to warrant 6th grade work. Duh.
    Unfortunately I've heard that before.
    Have you asked them to excuse her from 3rd grade work? I'm not sure how they could not especially since they are providing the 6th grade curriculum so they must be convinced she is proficient in 3rd.
    I think you have to have the director make this decision, sometimes the grade level teacher doesn't get it.
    If they are just trying to cover their bases, ask them to administer a 4th grade achievement test like IBTS or CAT when she starts school.
    Maybe they will excuse her if you offer to sign a waiver releasing them of all liability if your daughter becomes a juvenile delinquent because she didn't do enough 4th grade worksheets?
    One idea is to try and contact the director now, about this. Most administrators are accessible in the summer and they sure are a whole lot less busy!
    Thats all I can come up with right now. Hope it's helpful.

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    I have been meeting with the director all summer. I have another meeting next week which my husband will attend. They have basically told me:
    1. They realize that her needs have not been met
    2. They could move her to 8th grade and she could still do the work.
    3. Under no circumstances will they allow her to grade skip due to social reasons

    I am completely frustrated! Is there any other resources for me, besides the school, to get her tested at a higher grade level?
    Thanks.

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    I agree that the double-work thing is NOT okay! Dottie and 'Neato are right: if you stay with the school, fight that hard!

    We're homeschooling. I'll be happy to answer any questions you have if I can, either here on the public forum or in a private message. A number of us are in the HSing boat.

    On the bright side, HSing a GT child is really pretty easy most of the time, since they're little learning machines. And since they learn things so much faster than most other kids, you don't have to spend a lot of time on school, so there's time for lots of interesting extras like forign language, music lessons and sports, while still giving kids time to play. If you find the supports you need (HS groups, childcare, forums, etc.), it can be a really good solution for a GT child.

    And it is perfectly acceptable to HS one child while having the other in a traditional school situation. If your son is well-placed, then don't feel like you have to pull him out. I sure wouldn't!

    If there's anything I can help with, let me know. smile

    K-


    Kriston
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    "along with second guessing ourselves pretty often"

    You are not alone.

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    Originally Posted by gratified3
    I'm told it gets better as they get older and I'm holding out for that! smile


    Every year it seems to get worse. I think that skipping a grade would help her more socially. All of her friends outside of school are 2 years older than her and she doesn't have any problems.
    The more I research, the more I feel that HS would be the best for her. I just have to convince my DH and that can be hard. Then there is the issue of cirriculum. I really don't even know where to start choosing one. Any help would be appreciated. I would love to know what some of you have used, your likes or dislikes about it, etc.
    Thanks for listening.
    ~Gatorgirl

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    There is a lot of data out there that says that these highly gifted kids do better socially when they are with their mental peers and not with their age peers. Would showing them any of this research help convince the director, or is he dead set on it?

    I don't have any of the names off the top of my head, but I have read tons of books on this subject over the last six months. I can look up the names if you are interested, and I'm sure others here are more knowledgeable than me. My DS8's social happiness increased greatly when he was accelerated mid-year from 2nd to 3rd in a public school. He is still not being full challenged academically, but he interacts so much better with the older kids. It was a good first step in a very complicated dance.


    Mom to DS12 and DD3
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    I have several articles showing the current research. I have always told them that she does better with older kids and I just get that look like I don't know what I am talking about and that they know more than me. Very frustrating. In fact, I got the same "look" when I asked for a grade skip.

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