Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy DS MUST go on field trip

We have had some good teachers and administrators in our day, but I think one thing that sometimes happens is that the daily carrot/stick behavior-management aspects of teaching seep into the bones of school personnel and they get very weird with the power games. I see this desire to win and to be alpha. Who cares if the kid doesn't go on the field trip? (I also see MYSELF--the way I get sometimes when it feels like my kids are getting the better of me at every turn, and I start to turn into a petty dictator trying to get the upper hand and prove I'm in charge here. It's not a nice look.)

Yeah. Personally, I kinda still think it's something like this. They don't want to tell you, but some weird numbers game.

Or, control freak city. I have a theory that charter school brass tend to be like this. Micromanaging, control, control. They were at the charter we had DD at.

We have had some good teachers and administrators in our day, but I think one thing that sometimes happens is that the daily carrot/stick behavior-management aspects of teaching seep into the bones of school personnel and they get very weird with the power games. I see this desire to win and to be alpha. Who cares if the kid doesn't go on the field trip? (I also see MYSELF--the way I get sometimes when it feels like my kids are getting the better of me at every turn, and I start to turn into a petty dictator trying to get the upper hand and prove I'm in charge here. It's not a nice look.)

I wasn't kidding about the calls to CPS. I know of 2 families where CPS got involved. One of them involved a single mom who had a first grader and twin infants. She was sometimes a couple minutes late with drop-off because of juggling all the kids by herself, and once it got to about 15 tardies, CPS actually came to the school and there was a meeting.
One day my kids arrived at school literally seconds (maybe 5 seconds?) after the bell rang. The reason they were late was because someone locked the back door earlier than usual, so they had to walk around the building. The kids were sent to the office and marked tardy, and it's in the records.

I've become paranoid and if I can't get my kids out the door (with DD's ADHD and DS's organizational impairments this is often difficult), I start to panic a bit, thinking about mounting tardies. Sometimes they are marked tardy when I know I dropped them off before the bell rang. Parents aren't allowed into the school (unless they go to the office and sign in with ID), so if my kids get distracted or wander, they are marked tardy, and then I could get reported to CPS.

Parents can be in the school but they have to sign in at the office w/ a photo ID. So parents do not walk their kids into the building in the morning (even kindergartners), they are dropped off at the door or in carpool, then the kids make their own way to their classrooms. If a kid shows up to class late, the teacher sends them to the office and they are marked tardy. Since my kids tend to get distracted, or it takes them forever to take their coats and backpacks off, they don't necessarily show up to class on time.
Parents can eat lunch with their kids (as long as they sign in) but no one is really allowed to volunteer for grades 2+, unless it's for a field trip or special event. For K-1 the teacher will put you on a volunteer schedule maybe twice per month if you want to come in. Otherwise there are no parents in the building.

What Blackcat reports is WAY more access than parents were allowed at the public DD attended for 1st and 2nd. No parent volunteers, no eating lunch, no going past the office. Period. You could only enter the front door if you called in advance to advise that you were coming. Last year DD had a surgical procedure on her face and asked me to walk her to her classroom because she had a bandage on her face and was uncomfortable about how she would be received by the other kids. Nope, not allowed. Assigned to make a special treat for the class exploration of holidays around the world? Dropped it at the office and they called the classroom only after DH and I left the building so someone could come pick it up and bring it down the hall.

Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy huh?

or it takes them forever to take their coats and backpacks off, they don't necessarily show up to class on time.

My DCD-ds moves so slowly, he was often *inside* his classroom (because that's where the cubbies were) in elementary school and was still marked tardy because he'd still be at his cubby taking off his coat and boots instead of having made it to his desk by the time the teacher took attendance. We're not talking a huge classroom at all... but for some reason his teacher couldn't see him standing next to his cubby!