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    Joined: Feb 2013
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    22B Offline
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    Originally Posted by ABQMom
    Originally Posted by 22B
    What do you think is the teachers' perspective here?

    I don't need to guess; they've been very clear about their perspective. I think they're under the impression because my son doesn't have an appropriate filter that it is ok to not have one when addressing me. Some things they've said this year:

    He can be a little #$%^.

    He's obnoxious and conceited.

    His goal is to humiliate me in front of the other kids and make them laugh at me.

    He is undermining my efforts to help him.

    He is a braggart.

    He has these grandiose ideas that he's special.

    He is always bragging about having his own (using air quotes) company and that all these people want to be a part of it, and I know it's a bunch of bull@#%$.

    He is delusional. He thinks your company is his company and keeps saying he has this software company when I know he doesn't.

    He said he doesn't think he's going to college, so why should I even bother helping him? He thinks he's too special for help.

    Why can't you just homeschool him? He's a problem in my class, and he isn't learning anything anyway.

    Have you thought about an alternative school? He doesn't fit here.

    Have you thought about homeschooling him? You might understand what we're going through if it was you.

    I like you son, but he's ...

    He's a great kid, but he's

    I feel sorry for him. He means well, but I am sick of him doing ....

    Okay, that's what they claim, but what is the truth?

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    Some of those comments sound like the teacher is projecting meaning on what may be intended in an entirely different way. We had very similar comments from an adminstrator about our son last year. She backed down very quickly when I called her on some of them, particularly those regarding him bragging, thinking he was special, etc. Turns out she didn't have anything other than a vague idea that might be the case.

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    I have had similar experiences with my son's teacher this year in terms of her seeing his words and actions as mal-intentioned and as "bragging" etc. I have posted before how his asking for harder worksheets and to learn something more are considered by both of his teachers as having a bad attitude and "bragging." Both have remarked to that more than once, I have found out. Today, DS said a girl in his class was giving a power point presentation and it was about snails and, apparently, one of her slides (or whatever they are) said "snails live in the gas." Ds told me that he said "wait, wait a second, snails live in gases? really?" The teacher immediately said "uh uh, you're not doing that!" and he got in trouble . Once he realized that the girl had misspelled grass as gass, he realized that the teacher thought he was trying to be mean... But he said he wasn't, he really was curious as to what she meant ... He said he actually got a little excited that there "may be some special snail creatures that thrive in certain gases or gaseous biomes!" (LOL way too much time on minecraft) He is totally not a good speller himself and he said that to me - he was like "I am a terrible speller myself, I wouldn't have made fun of her." The teachers this year, especially as the year has progressed , seem to increasingly see DS as arrogant/bragging/etc. Things where he really isn't bragging just being honest - like "can I have a harder worksheet to do?" "Can I learn long division now since I mastered all of this stuff and have showed you I mastered it?" "Can I read out of the 'black basket?' The books look really interesting and they seem pretty much on my level." I am sure he also has bragged on occasion , I mean he is 8... I hear the 8 year olds bragging all of the time (mostly about sports though). However seems like every time my son opens his mouth they assume a mal-intent behind it.

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    Originally Posted by ABQMom
    Originally Posted by 22B
    What do you think is the teachers' perspective here?

    I don't need to guess; they've been very clear about their perspective. I think they're under the impression because my son doesn't have an appropriate filter that it is ok to not have one when addressing me.

    ABQMom, I am just beyond astounded at some of the things that have been said directly to you. Even if they were true, they aren't comments that a professional who is working with the public should *ever* make to *anyone*... and they certainly seem to indicate a total lack of caring to understand on the part of the teachers who made them.

    Quote
    this was the worst year ever when it came to appropriate accommodations, placement, or teachers who didn't resent that he was in gifted and still got his accommodations. That was the thing that was the worst - somehow thinking that a child shouldn't be allowed to be in a gifted classroom with appropriate content until they'd "gotten over" their learning disabilities which required acommodations.

    This has a been a huge brick wall for us on more than one occasion to - to be honest I think part of the problem is simply that 2e kids are "rare" enough that teachers aren't familiar with them... and our schools haven't done a good job yet of spreading awareness. I think it's going to be easier as time goes by for the kids who are in the ranks behind our kids, thanks to the advocacy we've done. Which doesn't make it fair or any easier to be the parent who's having to fight constantly *now* to get FAPE for their 2e student. I think that if you have it in you, though, it's important to address these comments once school is out and you're no longer a parent to a student attending the school. Someone in the district has to know about it - you don't have to be accusatory about it, but just matter-of-factly let the district know that the comments etc happened. If you have ideas about what would have been more appropriate, you can always include that as a suggestion. I have my own ideas, but this post will go on too long if I start thinking through that right now!

    Sending your ds tons of good wishes for high school next year!

    polarbear

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    Originally Posted by 22B
    Okay, that's what they claim, but what is the truth?

    I am wondering if you have something in mind -if you have something specific you're thinking about, I'd be interested to know so we can talk about it?

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    Polarbear - would LOVE your ideas.

    Irena - yes - this is very similar to what goes on with us.

    ConnectingDots - somehow there is comfort in knowing others face this; it feels very alone in the moment of it all

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    Originally Posted by ABQMom
    Originally Posted by 22B
    Okay, that's what they claim, but what is the truth?

    I am wondering if you have something in mind -if you have something specific you're thinking about, I'd be interested to know so we can talk about it?

    I'm simply asking: what's really happening.

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    Originally Posted by ABQMom
    Originally Posted by 22B
    What do you think is the teachers' perspective here?

    I don't need to guess; they've been very clear about their perspective. I think they're under the impression because my son doesn't have an appropriate filter that it is ok to not have one when addressing me. Some things they've said this year:

    He can be a little #$%^.

    He's obnoxious and conceited.

    His goal is to humiliate me in front of the other kids and make them laugh at me.

    He is undermining my efforts to help him.

    He is a braggart.

    He has these grandiose ideas that he's special.

    He is always bragging about having his own (using air quotes) company and that all these people want to be a part of it, and I know it's a bunch of bull@#%$.

    He is delusional. He thinks your company is his company and keeps saying he has this software company when I know he doesn't.

    He said he doesn't think he's going to college, so why should I even bother helping him? He thinks he's too special for help.

    Why can't you just homeschool him? He's a problem in my class, and he isn't learning anything anyway.

    Have you thought about an alternative school? He doesn't fit here.

    Have you thought about homeschooling him? You might understand what we're going through if it was you.

    I like you son, but he's ...

    He's a great kid, but he's

    I feel sorry for him. He means well, but I am sick of him doing ....


    So I don't really need to guess. I sympathize with the challenges, and I do think some of his teachers this year did a fairly good job of holding him accountable without thinking he could be "fixed". But this was the worst year ever when it came to appropriate accommodations, placement, or teachers who didn't resent that he was in gifted and still got his accommodations. That was the thing that was the worst - somehow thinking that a child shouldn't be allowed to be in a gifted classroom with appropriate content until they'd "gotten over" their learning disabilities which required acommodations.
    Just posting to give you hugs and sympathy. I have been there. I had a teacher once tell me:

    "Your son is the most badly behaved kid I've ever taught."

    This was after my son had been having anxiety attack in school. This was a teacher who had ONLY ever taught a gifted class at a high performing school and was used to perfect little angles.

    Then there was the science teacher last year (in 8th) who though my son was drawing nasty pictures of her when all he was doing was doodling completely random stuff. Now he was doodling rather than doing his work, BUT he was bored not being mean or nasty.

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    My instinct is that this teacher is intimidated by your son and/or her inability to make him do what she wants him to do... totally unprofessional comments in any case.

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    Originally Posted by ABQMom
    Polarbear - would LOVE your ideas.

    Sorry I don't have time to think through it and write them out at the moment, but I promise to come back and throw a few out there at you smile

    pbear

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