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    #188950 04/20/14 06:21 PM
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    apm221 Offline OP
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    Some of you have kindly posted on my threads about my son's difficulties with bullying. I'm wondering if anyone has advice on a related issue.

    Because of the bullying, I arranged for my son to switch to my daughter's school. On the one hand, it's a small program and I think he is going to like it. On the other hand, they are used to my daughter and she is very different.

    My daughter has always tested very well and is an extrovert. She loves her teachers and is always well behaved, even though she gets bored sometimes and has periodically been very unhappy at school.

    My son (6) has always had difficulty with testing and may have a processing issue (he will be getting tested more as he gets older). He is shy and introverted. He has trouble being patient if be gets bored. His teacher tells me how bright he is and his school put him in first grade for part of the day, but he only tests about one grade level ahead (I can never tell if he is showing his full ability on tests, though). He's a great kid, but he is just different and I think he may be very difficult for him to feel like he is in the shadow of his sister versus being at a different school. He doesn't like pressure.

    I'm trying to help him develop his own interests and strengths (e.g., he's very good at visuospatial skills and has an amazing knowledge of astronomy), but his self esteem is already battered from being bullied.

    I'm interested in advice about how others have dealt with differences between siblings like this and and about ways to help him not get overshadowed at the new school.

    Last edited by apm221; 04/20/14 06:22 PM.
    apm221 #188952 04/20/14 08:16 PM
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    My kids are a year apart in age. My daughter is older as well and very different (they don't even appear to be siblings) but none of the teachers have ever really commented on it or mentioned my DD to my younger child. At the most, they asked him how she was doing. Of course, they were only in the same school for about a year and a half. They shared the same kindergarten teacher but not first grade. I wouldn't worry about it until/unless you run into problems. You can comment to the teacher that he is very different from your DD but has a lot of strengths that she doesn't have.

    apm221 #188957 04/21/14 01:05 AM
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    I would not worry about it until you run into an issue - because chances are, you might not. It sounds like you've made the decision to switch schools for very good reasons - so try to focus on the good things coming and not over-think what might go wrong.

    FWIW my kids are all at the same school and have had the same teachers (different years). And my kids are all basically as different as night and day - but it hasn't been an issue at school at all.

    polarbear

    Last edited by polarbear; 04/21/14 01:05 AM.
    apm221 #188962 04/21/14 04:48 AM
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    apm221-

    Hugs to your DS!

    DD8 is an extrovert, DS5 is much more introverted and sensitive - my two DC also just have very different strengths and personalities.

    Would your DD be able to "watch out" for your DS a bit on the playground, etc.? That would be nice! My DD is a pretty strong personality and she would NOT tolerate anyone picking on her brother (that's her job wink ). Does your DS know her friends? Would they also keep a friendly eye out for him? It doesn't hurt for a few older kids to say "hi" to your DS as they walk past him every day (other children your DS's age may be "impressed" that he knows the older children).

    So far, my DD and DS have not had the same teachers. Also, they are just such different personalities, I don't know that the teachers would "compare" them.

    Hopefully, this switch will be great for your DS! Please let us know how he is doing!


    apm221 #188975 04/21/14 08:13 AM
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    It sounds like you have an instinct whether it will be good or not. Follow that instinct.

    Try to follow-up on the pros and cons, give them weight and weigh them.

    Don't be afraid to make 'a wrong turn' just course correct as you go.

    Sometimes, you have to rely on a short-term solution (lesser of two evils type of analysis).

    If at all possible, it may be best to keep gifted siblings or siblings of a gifted student separate for many reasons. Overall, it can be much less stressful. Good Luck.




    apm221 #189039 04/21/14 04:39 PM
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    apm221 Offline OP
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    Thanks for the advice. My daughter wants to look out for him and see him at school. She likes having him at the same school. So it will definitely help with recognizing issues if they come up.


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