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    Joined: Mar 2010
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    MegMeg Offline OP
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    Originally Posted by LRS
    We let ours free range where they don't have to cross streets and luckily the nearby families do same. smile
    Feeling lucky right now.
    Yeah, me too!

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    With regard to LOG being an issue - DS7 is constantly lost in his head. The other day he almost got hit by a car because he was lost in his head thinking about a quantum physics lecture he had just watched. I had to scream and push him out of the way. "But Mommy, I couldn't stop thinking about it."

    He's not crossing the street by himself until he's 35.

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    22B Offline
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    Originally Posted by somewhereonearth
    With regard to LOG being an issue - DS7 is constantly lost in his head. The other day he almost got hit by a car because he was lost in his head thinking about a quantum physics lecture he had just watched. I had to scream and push him out of the way. "But Mommy, I couldn't stop thinking about it."

    He's not crossing the street by himself until he's 35.

    There is a philosophy that says we should let our kids play in the traffic because a scraped knee will toughen them up. (I do not subscribe to this philosophy.)

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    My kids free-range, but we live in a suburban neighborhood where houses are spread out, not in a housing complex. The larger difference between the OP's situation and ours is that there all the kids in our neighborhood free-range and they all play together. My kids don't typically ever *want* to play alone outside - if they don't have sibs or friends to play with they usually hang out with me or inside reading or doing homework or something. I'm not sure what I would do if I had one child and the neighbor parents were telling me they thought I was being an unsafe parent by letting my child play alone outside when I was comfortable with it. The neighborhood dynamics sound very different than where we are - so I'm not sure what I'd do or feel, or how I'd handle it.

    polarbear

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    Bear in mind, though, that even that kind of extreme of being out-of-touch with the world around them-- that's less LOG and more personality.

    DD is very much hyperaware of her surroundings and threats therein-- and always has been. She's got terrific instincts to prevent being pickpocketed; most impressive for a non-urban childhood.

    Free-ranging is probably mostly a matter of what seems normative in the setting in which one lives. Buck the trend (whatever it is) and you'll have others judging your parenting choices rather harshly, I'm afraid. Free-ranging is relatively popular here-- and we get labeled TigerParent/helicopter parents because we don't. Those are the major divisions locally, btw.





    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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    Originally Posted by 22B
    Originally Posted by somewhereonearth
    With regard to LOG being an issue - DS7 is constantly lost in his head. The other day he almost got hit by a car because he was lost in his head thinking about a quantum physics lecture he had just watched. I had to scream and push him out of the way. "But Mommy, I couldn't stop thinking about it."

    He's not crossing the street by himself until he's 35.

    There is a philosophy that says we should let our kids play in the traffic because a scraped knee will toughen them up. (I do not subscribe to this philosophy.)

    There's also a middle ground that says climbing trees is an acceptable risk.

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    IMO, free ranging is dependent on two factors: 1) how comfortable parents are with letting their kids free range and 2) is the environment in which the kid free ranges set up for that. In many cultures, including mine, free ranging is the standard practice. Everyone does it and there is an implicit understanding that one or more adults are watching the kids from a distance to jump in if needed. You always know all the kids on the block and which house they live in, who the parents are etc, even if you are not really on a first name basis with the parents. So when I go home to visit my parents, I feel very comfortable letting my dd4.5 play with the other kids without me being there. However, I could never let her do that here. I do let her play in the backyard as long as I keep an eye on her from inside. At the playground, I don't shadow her but sit at a distance and never lose sight of her. I do let her attempt to climb a tree or jump off a rock. It is okay if she gets a few bruises. However, I don't think I will ever let her free range in our safe suburban neighborhood when I know all parents are inside with no one watching. I would rather be extra cautious than let my child be hurt by someone.

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    Originally Posted by Mk13
    My son is 5.8 and I still don't let him play alone even in our own fenced-in backyard. So would not let him play outside by himself either. Living in a housing complex would probably make me even more worried than living in a suburbian subdivision. I let my kids explore as much as possible, we even unschool so they get a lot of freedoms but this is not one of them. Being gifties seems to make them be even more at risk (in general). Their curiosity trumps their sense of caution. Probably won't let them be out alone until I feel they are ready to be home alone too. Right now I might leave them home alone for the one minute it takes me to go get mail from the mailbox but that's about it.

    Not letting them play alone in your own fenced back yard seems a bit limiting. I let mine play in our garden by themselves (7.0 and 4.11). I let the older scooter round the block to a friends while we drive sometimes but usually we walk with him (the road crossing is first so I do that with him first). I have let them play at the park across the road while I got tea on provided they stayed in the area i can see from the kitchen. I let them climb trees and ride bikes fast down hills etc but the must wear helmets every one they go on anything with wheels.

    Having said that ds7 probably won't be allowed to walk to school until he attends the intermediate across the road from our house whereas ds4 could probably do it now.

    Last edited by puffin; 04/19/14 01:44 PM.
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    I think individual circumstances of the location, your relationship with neighbours, presence of a neighbourhood watch service, time of day when your daughter would play independently, how far away you'd be, and your child's maturity are all critical factors that are beyond the scope of knowledge of most of us here.

    We live in a busy downtown area. For our local environment, free ranging at 6 would be beyond irresponsible. (Think: letting a child loose in Times Square.)


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    I think it's important to be on the same page with the other adults in the area. If you are letting your child free range and 6 and they show up at a playground where other parents are supervising their children. The other parents might feel a bit put upon. They might end up resenting you, think you are expecting them to keep an eye on your child without asking.

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