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    Joined: Jan 2008
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    What worked for DS10 so far:

    Local Public timeline:

    pretty good -- second half of kindergarten with agemates, with differentiation in the classroom and pullouts with the GT teacher for compacted 2nd grade math. learned a lot about advocacy.

    not so good -- first half of kindergarten when the teacher was "getting to know" our kid

    pretty good -- skipping 1st. Second grade was better, reading program was at each kid's level (though I had a sneaky kid who would try to read under level)

    bad -- DS was being taught the exact same 2nd grade curriculum that he had completed in a compacted time the previous spring, when he was in kindy. The school figured the skip would be good enough and wouldn't send DS to the 3rd grade class for math because of his "poor handwriting". Through much advocacy things got slowly better and he was able to test out of some units. Very stressful for parents. Learned a lot about how not to advocate...

    Best -- Transfer mid-year second to out-of-district public school for Highly Gifted Kids

    DS has really thrived here with peers. Most kids are a year older, but still a great fit. The teachers are amazing and don't emphasize weaknesses like handwriting. Really wonderful group of kids. Everything is accelerated at least a year, faster pace. Lots of friends. No advocacy required by parents. Good stuff.

    The Unknown:

    Switching to a new STEM charter for middle school next year (the program in DS's current district ends after 5th).


    ETA: Preschool didn't work so well, except that the preschool teacher was quite wonderful and was the first to tell us that DS would need acceleration some day. DS didn't like the very part-time preschool one bit. We shouldn't have sent him the second year, because that sort of soured him on school. I'm thinking he will probably never be the type of kid who likes school. Maybe in college. smile

    Last edited by st pauli girl; 04/14/14 08:26 AM.
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    Originally Posted by KJP
    A good resource for advocacy information is wrightslaw.com

    Check the training program calendar and try to go to one if you can. It is actually a good value. Aside from getting a day of training from Pete Wright, you get three of his book as a part of the registration fee. I got From Emotions to Advocacy, All about IEPs and his Special Education Law textbook when I went to one last year.

    I agree Wright's stuff is very good but I'm not convinced its applicable here. His stuff is mostly focused on special ed/504s/IDEA/ADA etc... We used his books advocating for our gifted DS with an IEP coming out of ECSE.

    Most states do not have gifted mandates. Even fewer states allow for gifted IEPs. Without that legal framework, Wright's strategies are less relevant. His advice one building consensus etc is helpful but the dynamics are completely different. The courts have been *very* clear that a " Free and Appropriate Public Education" does not entitle you to an optimal public education. Failure to accelerate or differentiate for gifted kids is not an actionable event.

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    Depending on the kid's level and unique needs, I think one might find out that one runs out of local school resources extremely quickly. For DS13, we wasted a lot of time trying to work things out at school (we had false hope). The teachers kept telling me that he did receive enrichment, but his impression was that even the enrichment was incredibly easy. By 4th grade I systematically taught him at home (afterschooling). By 6th grade, there was finally some formal acceleration at school but it was pretty useless. By 7th grade we completely gave up hope and used school simply as a social place.

    Community resources could be great. We did find lots of opportunities at the local university. But most of the community resources outside of the university are also not geared toward GT kids, and we find our kids maxing out at most places pretty quickly. My DD9, for example, has nowhere to go anymore in the local community for some of her very strong pursuits.

    Online school is great (Art of Problem Solving) for DS. Afterschooling remains the main learning approach for both kids.

    I think the key is for the parents to prepare early (we really weren't prepared for DS which contributed to his misery at school for a few years), and use outside-of-school resources.

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    Instead of listing all the things we've tried, let me just share a few guidelines that I've learned going through the process (DD11 has been in four different "schools" in six years):

    * Observe your child, they will tell you / show you what they need. If their words ("school is fine") don't match their emotions, trust their emotions -- and trust your own.

    * Nothing works forever (or even for very long). HK's 18 month comment actually also applied pretty closely to our DD (kind of an intellectual Moore's Law?).

    * The stress of change is a lesser evil than the stress of a bad educational mismatch. Don't let people scare you with how a school change will traumatize your child. Strive for continuity where you can (same out of school activities, keep in touch with friends, etc.) but make the change when necessary.

    * Be creative and flexible, hunt down the lesser known educational options. Think outside the box. Let go of judgement (the 20K private may be a worse option than a free charter with a flexible teacher).

    * People who get it will get it. People who won't just won't. Don't spend a lot of time and energy trying to convince people who just don't get it. Pick your battles and advocate where it counts most.

    * If you let your child accelerate, be ready for them to do that. It will go fast and may seem scary. This board is a great place to get practical advice and commiseration.

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    I've had a win-loss-win experience with DD10. She attended a Waldorf preschool and kindergarten which worked really well for her. Despite the "wait until you're 7 to read" attitude, the teachers let my DD read as much as she liked. She loved the stories, woodwork, cooking, outside play and all the arts: knitting, sewing, etc. Unfortunately 1st-3rd was a disaster, also at the Waldorf charter school, because there was so little learning and her teacher (same for all 3 years) WOULD NOT offer any differentiation. DD began pulling into herself and saying she didn't want to be smart, so I found a great private gifted school and moved her during 3rd grade. She has been very happy and reinvigorated the past year. With hindsight I would have pulled her out of the Waldorf charter school in 1st grade.

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    . Evaluate every year.
    . Pay attention to emotional triggers. (Is your high-IQ student gifted, highly gifted, Asperger's, high functioning autistic?) Depending on emotions of the child might give best indication. You probably want to review it with a PhD type that meets your approval.
    . Always do what is the best for the child, i.e., what you call their best interest, if you can. There are always some limitations.
    .Most important: If you are the gifted parent, trust every feeling / instinct you have, go with it and do not ignore that feeling / instinct. That is where the best answer that is right for your child, your family and you will be found.

    I have found that gifted families are like gifted persons in that they have to be allowed to follow their own path. So, please do not worry about what everyone else is doing. You have to be very comfortable making your own choices.

    We have found that what works for everyone else (mass majority of people in society) does not work in the same way for us or at least not at the same chronological age.

    We have use parochial schools (yes, plural), cyber school, homeschool (our own program) and public school. So do not be concerned that you feel very unique that is why the GIEP is a gifted individualized education plan that changes yearly. Good Luck. Hope it helps.

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    Originally Posted by Wesupportgifted
    trust every feeling / instinct you have, go with it and do not ignore that feeling / instinct.

    I second this. I never felt comfortable while touring preschools. I had this knot in my stomach and felt that I couldn't leave DD there by herself. People thought that has everything to do with my own anxiety issues and had nothing to do with DD's best interest but when I actually found the right school for DD, I knew it instantly and so did DD. I count my lucky stars every time I drop her off. We LOVE everything about this little school. Of course, she just started and she only goes 2 times a week so things could change rapidly next year when she'd be going 5 mornings a week but she's already looking forward to it. I was a little paranoid at first that other parents might complaint that having a child like DD upsets the balance of the group but everyone has been very welcoming and supportive. smile

    I'm learning to trust my own instinct as well as my DD's and I'm done 1) hiding DD's abilities and 2) making excuses for schools and teachers who do not get her.


    Originally Posted by MomC
    She attended a Waldorf preschool and kindergarten which worked really well for her. Despite the "wait until you're 7 to read" attitude, the teachers let my DD read as much as she liked. She loved the stories, woodwork, cooking, outside play and all the arts: knitting, sewing, etc...With hindsight I would have pulled her out of the Waldorf charter school in 1st grade.

    DD's current school is eclectic but it leans heavily towards Walforf approach; it's nature-based, encourages open-ended play, and spends a lot of time dancing and singing but her teacher also has DD reading and doing research with children almost twice her age. I explain to people that its cover looks like Walforf but inside, it's more Montessori than Waldorf. It's a great fit right now but we'd definitely need to find something else after next school year. I just don't know what that'd be.

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    Just as it used to say on the back of financial prospectuses 'Past performance is no indication of future results' - you have continually monitor things.

    Our travails so far...

    Kindy - Neutral, we were clueless and basically left DD out to pasture but I did start to notice that relative to pre-school DD slid socially. DD was identified by a very loving and decent teacher as 'spirited' and suggested that we read the 'Spirited Child'. After reading it, it confirmed DD and I's hive mind and DW and I concluded that she had a 'Spirited Husband' LOL. DD learned to read and took off like a rocket. Library trips supplemented by museum visits helped DD to follow interests - Pirates, Astronomy, Egyptology, Dinosaurs, Human Biology etc.

    1st - Good, teachers differentiated so DD got to make a Pressie (sp?) on why Pluto wasn't considered a bona fide planet anymore and won a 3 county essay competition. OE's intensified in inverse proportion to her social acceptance by age peer girls. Through conversations in the car with me as I drove her around, DD mastered arithmetic with whole numbers and vulgar fractions. We started the SG Maths as an after school activity. We started to realise that DD picked things up preternaturally fast.

    2nd - bad (1st half) Bad, OE's started to intensify further and teacher would not differentiate. After schooling with SG Maths took DD through level 5 with apparent ease. DD sent to see guidance counsellor to help her with her extreme sensitivities and immaturity as the school saw it. Ended up getting DD tested which confirmed that she is quite bright.

    2nd - better (2nd half) Better, took test results to school. Teacher did a complete 180 and started to understand why DD refused to do extra worksheets when finished way before others in class. Held off on SG math after school as I was getting freaked out (sometimes I think I made a mistake). Eventually got school to see that her perceived immaturity was actually OEs caused by asynchronous development relative to age peers. School after a bit of work agreed to skip 3rd grade largely due to her teachers' advocacy for her in addition to the Iowa Scales, DYS and our persistence.

    4th (so far) OK, DD's teacher very supportive and DD's social acceptance increased. OEs all but disappeared. Clear that DD is still nowhere close to being in her ZPD but unwilling to disrupt the social progress she has made. Afterschooling with AoPS now. DD is now starting to verbalize the thoughts that she isn't learning a lot at school because AoPS has shown her what learning feels like. Starting to chafe at the harness of school (mental desert) followed by actual learning after school. Asking for summer classes now...

    Last edited by madeinuk; 04/15/14 05:11 PM. Reason: Bad ipad autocompletes corrected

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    We accelerated DD a grade a few months after she started kindergarten which I think was a good choice. We should have just had her do early entrance to kindergarten. Since then she hasn't really complained about school being boring or too easy (although I'm sure a lot of it is, as her test scores are in the upper 90s percentile-wise). Since she's not really complaining or unhappy, I'm not really worried about it and haven't done much at home. Every once in a while she does programs like ixl or Khan Academy at home. She's going into a self-contained magnet for gifted next year for 4th grade which will probably be a challenge, esp. since she's 2e (ADHD). She is excited about it though.

    DS has been more of a challenge in that the district has gotten very rigid (because of the obsession over state standards and test results) and won't let us accelerate even for math. The teacher insisted on giving him grade level math (first grade) even though he was already fluent in multiplication and division. We finally took him out of the school and put him in a different district school where the teacher is willing to differentiate. She doesn't make him sit through math lectures or do first grade math and gives him the right level. He just finished a unit on how to find the area in complex shapes. The teacher somehow finds time to work with him plus there are paras. She also divides the kids into reading groups and there is at least one other kid at or above his reading level. I'm not sure what will happen with him over the long term since there is no official plan, but we're going to have a meeting with the next teacher (whomever is assigned in the fall) along with current teacher. He has an IEP but nothing about gifted ed goes into IEPs here.




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    Thanks to all who have contributed to this topic so far. It has really helped me to think about what needs I may come across, as well as potential solutions and ways to address them. It's so nice to be able to see other perspectives, even if the solutions are all different.


    Life is the hardest teacher. It gives the test first and then teaches the lesson.
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