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    Originally Posted by HowlerKarma
    As to your questions.... yes. To both. Yes, encourage. BUT... not at the expense of closing other doors, or tying identity to those particular hopes.
    This.

    I know quite a number of young adults who currently attend Ivy's and top tier schools. These schools are not impossible to get into especially for a gifted student but it does mean taking the most rigorous classes (typically lots of AP's) and getting top grades, and having interesting extracurriculars. If this desire is coming from him, then he will be motivated to jump through all the hoops.

    In my case my husband went to top tier/ivy schools but I have no illusion that my DS15 will manage get accepted at either university despite the legacy. My son is not motivated and it shows in his grades. We have been discussing what grades he needs to attend top public research universities. I am assuming that he will do well on the SAT, and it looks like he will mostly likely be interested in math/computers/engineering or science at university.

    Last edited by bluemagic; 04/02/14 09:46 AM.
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    Originally Posted by Quantum2003
    HowlerKarma, you are right that the kids will have a much better sense of what they actually want by high school. One of the problem though is that it is hard to gauge the atmosphere of a particular campus unless you spent time there. Part of it is guilt on my part - I know how great these (at least mine) schools can be. I found so many people to whom I could relate and actually felt like I really belong in college.

    Hmm, that's an interesting point about getting into an Ivy versus the Ivy. I haven't even looked into the Common App issue but to me the Ivies are not interchangeable as they have different characteristics (at least they did a couple of decades ago).

    Yes fit is an important part of the college selection. And it why it's good to give a kid a sense of perspective and that there are many excellent options out there. And for a parent to encourage their student to explore multiple options. But I've seen the desire to attend a top school really motivate a younger student. Even if they don't make it to their dream school or change their mind along the way that desire can open doors for them in the long run.

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    Originally Posted by Dude
    DD9 has expressed her desire to attend a college nearby so she can continue to live at home, since she's a member of the generation that inexplicably likes its parents. So at the moment, that's not an issue.


    Interesting, I was not aware of this trend with the generation (or are you joshing?), although I've had just about the same conversation with ds13.


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    Originally Posted by chris1234
    Originally Posted by Dude
    DD9 has expressed her desire to attend a college nearby so she can continue to live at home, since she's a member of the generation that inexplicably likes its parents. So at the moment, that's not an issue.


    Interesting, I was not aware of this trend with the generation (or are you joshing?), although I've had just about the same conversation with ds13.

    Not joshing. There's data about generation Y, and I expect the trend to continue, given what I'm seeing generally among parents of younger children.

    http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2012/03/15/the-boomerang-generation/

    Quote
    Among the three-in-ten young adults ages 25 to 34 (29%) who’ve been in that situation during the rough economy of recent years, large majorities say they’re satisfied with their living arrangements (78%)

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    Originally Posted by Dude
    Not joshing. There's data about generation Y, and I expect the trend to continue, given what I'm seeing generally among parents of younger children.

    That's because there's no generation gap in the sense of different cultural ideas, since everything is post-1960's.

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    Originally Posted by Quantum2003
    That was what I was missing - I was actually crazy enough not to have applied to any safety schools! In my defence, in those days there would have still been time to apply to the in-state universities after the letters arrive.

    I only applied to one school; no defense, just the wondrous youthful mixed air of arrogance and ignorance.

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    Of the top four kids in DD's graduating class-- and the top four in last year's?

    I think they applied to a grand total of eight schools-- between them, I mean.

    I don't know of a single one that applied to more than three.


    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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    Originally Posted by Quantum2003
    I like that visual - claws and fangs! For some reason, DS is not particularly competitive, at least with his classmates but that can change.

    It's also kind of weird how clearly DS understands statistics from an early age. He undestands that even 99.9 percentile is ultimately a dime a dozen when there are millions of people. He is the one who pointed out to me that you can hit perfect scores on all the AMCs and be a long way from gaining one of the few slots on the USAMO team.

    That is what often scares me. Ds7 is about 1 in 18,000. We only have 4.5 million in this country.

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    Originally Posted by puffin
    Originally Posted by Quantum2003
    I like that visual - claws and fangs! For some reason, DS is not particularly competitive, at least with his classmates but that can change.

    It's also kind of weird how clearly DS understands statistics from an early age. He undestands that even 99.9 percentile is ultimately a dime a dozen when there are millions of people. He is the one who pointed out to me that you can hit perfect scores on all the AMCs and be a long way from gaining one of the few slots on the USAMO team.

    That is what often scares me. Ds7 is about 1 in 18,000. We only have 4.5 million in this country.

    And there are only *500* Fortune 500 companies!

    That means *only* 500 CEO's!

    So, the competition will become fiercer and more brutal as you move through the system!

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    LOL. Assuming that they haven't devoured one another in hand-to-hand combat by the time you get there, of course, which COULD mean that only the top 250 of the Fortune 500 even survive to be toppled.

    Just trying to look on the bright side.


    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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