Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Parenting arms race article

I'm not really sure that anyone on this thread has much to apologize for. I understand that some people may feel slighted by some of the things that have been said here, but try to see it from the perspective of parents of highly gifted kids. HG+ kids think differently from other people. It seems completely reasonable to say that the education system should have a few spots where these kids can interact with others who are as bright as they are.

Yet HG+ kids are consistently denied appropriate learning environments, and the few opportunities available to them are frequently distorted by a parentally-driven status race. Worse, many educators and school districts are clueless about giftedness at best and hostile to it at worst. Many believe that once a student has mastered the grade-level stuff, he can be ignored. Others aim for "equity," a policy that's almost systematic about denying an appropriate education to HG+ students.

Honestly, your comment strikes me as saying that we shouldn't be be discussing differences between HG+ kids and other kids here because we might hurt someone's feelings. Hurt feelings are unfortunate, but what about the significant damage being done to HG+ kids by a system that feels free to ignore them or denigrate them? My feelings are hurt every time a teacher tells me that s/he doubts that my HG+ daughter is gifted. Teachers say this because their gifted = high achievement + teacher pleaser. But my feelings are the least of my worries. The damage done to my kids is much more important.

My favorite solution is to no longer call "gifted" education "gifted" at all-- but to call it "special education."

Period. Just... SpEd. Because it is.

In PA, gifted falls under special ed. Special education is for anyone that falls outside the norm.

I get this. My DD is in a GT program and has expressed this sentiment at times. She complains of certain discussion groups where she is the only one raising questions and the other kids just dutifully write down the things that she says. Occasionally, she will get a "good group" and come home energized by the fact that other kids brought up things that she hadn't thought of or made her think about something differently. DD also loves some of the discussions that they have where the teacher lets the class run with a tangent that is interesting to a large number of students. She has been dubbed one of the "smart" kids in the gt program. In math, she maybe has 2-3 peers. Everyone else just doesn't get it on the same level. I've told her to relish the good days and try to picture what it would be like in a traditional classroom.

At the same time, there is a kid in her class who is obviously bright but also is an insufferable bore. He always tries to hijack classes on to tangents of marginal relevance. When DD describes him, I harken back to people who I knew in classes who were just like him. One guy actually had a gag order placed on him in law school and everyone breathed a sigh of relief that we didn't have to listen to him drone on everyday.

I guess my point is that I think that teachers have a fine balancing act when one kid may want to go "deeper" or in a different direction and seems to constantly be derailing the class. DD told me that the teachers try to get the kid in question to limit himself to one tangent per class or to come talk afterward. At times, this kid gets belligerent the teachers if he doesn't get his way. I've asked DD if he ever brings up anything interesting or insightful. She said that the valuable nuggets are steeped in a whole lot of bs in her opinion.

SpEd died in the 90's.

You will need a 21st century acronym.

That being said, I just want to make sure that everyone knows that I will graciously accept any apologies that they want to offer me.

knute, that's a pretty close approximation of what my DD has experienced in her classes, too. The only close peers she has had much contact with tend to be of the "insufferable boor" variety-- or she considers them her closest friends. As non-competitive as she is, there is this one kid... she'd LOVE to have the #1 spot at graduation just to deprive someone else of that position... and really, she would consider it something of a public service. LOL. (The funny thing is that she's far from alone in that opinion, actually.)



Jon, I was rather hoping that I could get a graceless or at least gauche acceptance. I'm disappointed.

Same in LA. Since it's all one thing, it all gets funded the same. This has triggered some political backlash from parents of children with LDs.

It's not about social status relative to other parents for me but rather about whether getting my children into an AP class or a highly selective college will improve their life prospects. I have little reason to believe that Harvard et al offer a much better education than less famous schools. But anecdotally I'll say that one of the most intelligent and successful people I know
(1) married someone from the same prestigious college, where they met
(2) is a business partner with someone (who I consider less impressive) he met at a famous business school

There are advantages to your children of being around successful and intelligent people, even if you know that the institutions that select those people do not directly add much value. There are scores of people who are more successful than they would be otherwise because they hobnobbed with a Gates or Zuckerberg in college or high school. You can call me mercenary, but please don't call me vain .

Yeah, I can see why the funding issue tends to be the one that gets dragged out as a straw man there-- but honestly, I'd think that ultimately it would serve kids with LD's better as well, if the line between "SpEd/GT" were erased completely.

It would certainly serve 2e students better.

For an example of what I mean... no TigerParent wants THEIR kid riding the short bus... however...

parents here? I'd sign up for it in a heartbeat if it meant appropriate education. You bet.

Now all of a sudden, spectators aren't so sure that "short bus" or "resource room" is much of an epithet. Magic.

The parents who want their kids to have the intellectual experience will be the only ones left standing in line, kids with LD's are no longer "outed" involuntarily to classmates as "handicapped" by those LD's if they require services or alternative placements during the day...

anyway, that's been my version of public education Utopia for quite some time. Oddly, it hasn't much caught on. {sigh}

I think that the TigerParents locally are FAR too wedded to their "MY child is in the GT program" here... yeah, big whoop-de-do... so are 30% of his or her classmates.

Oddly, not so many kids are identified as SpEd.

Um.

That's status.