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    #185487 - 03/21/14 09:46 AM Re: If your child is gifted with a sport/instrument... [Re: ultramarina]
    ultramarina Offline
    Member

    Registered: 08/24/10
    Posts: 3428
    I guess my DD10 probably does about 5-6 hours of activities per week (so, I guess about what your DD does, Dude). For her, that's plenty--she will say as much. They're all different, and none of them have much intensity (two do involve performance, but it is low key and she isn't competing in any way). It's the single focus on one competitive thing here (for a little guy) that I wonder about here for DS. He does actually have some interest in sports, too, and I feel like a heavy chess schedule kind of precludes that.


    Edited by ultramarina (03/21/14 09:52 AM)

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    #185488 - 03/21/14 09:52 AM Re: If your child is gifted with a sport/instrument... [Re: ultramarina]
    polarbear Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/29/11
    Posts: 3363
    ultra, my dd who I mentioned above could have easily handled that type of time commitment in K, as well as the competition aspect. I think so much depends on the personality of the child - my dd is passionate about whatever she's passionate about and she throws her full self into it. She also likes to be busy, and she likes to compete. OTOH, not placing in a competition also doesn't bother her, she just goes from wherever she lands and works to improve.

    One way to look at it might be, if you worked (I am not sure if you do? this is just a hypothetical example)... but if a parent works during the day, they often have to leave their child at after-school care for 2 or more hours until they can pick them up. It's probably not the ideal thing for some kids, but most kids I know handle that a-ok, even in K-1. Is spending 3 days a week after school playing organized chess that much different in terms of time out of a child's week? The main difference would be it's organized and focused and a learning experience... plus most likely a lot of fun for your ds smile So from that perspective, I wouldn't worry too much about it. When I *would* worry is if it became so all-consuming that he's practicing constantly at home and refusing to do other things like play/exercise/enjoy just hanging out with your family etc. (and... I wouldn't spring for anything that financially is a strain either.. which I have no idea about chess, but sports can get to be pricey as kids get more involved).

    Best wishes,

    polarbear

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    #185490 - 03/21/14 10:08 AM Re: If your child is gifted with a sport/instrument... [Re: ultramarina]
    ultramarina Offline
    Member

    Registered: 08/24/10
    Posts: 3428
    I work half-time. Yes, I see your POV in terms of the comparison to an after school program. It's just very...single-minded?

    Quote:
    When I *would* worry is if it became so all-consuming that he's practicing constantly at home and refusing to do other things like play/exercise/enjoy just hanging out with your family etc.


    Frankly, yes, this is a bit of an issue. We're an outdoorsy family, and these days there is a conflict between DS wanting to stay inside and play chess (and other games--he is very game-focused, so it's not just chess) and the rest of us wanting to hike and so on. I mean, it's not a major issue, and it may have been this way anyway due to him being slightly different in his preferences.

    Cost is also an issue. Club is not expensive; coaching can be, depending. Travel to state/national tournaments can of course be very expensive.

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    #185494 - 03/21/14 10:27 AM Re: If your child is gifted with a sport/instrument... [Re: ultramarina]
    GF2 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/13/14
    Posts: 74
    Basketball (ages 9-11): 2 hours/day individual practice + 6 hours/week games/team practice

    Swimming (ages 12-16): 14 hours/week team practice + meets + dry land training (another 4 hours/week)

    Piano (ages 8-10): 30-45 min practice per day plus weekly lesson

    Two musical instruments (HS level): 25 hours/week (2.5 hours daily practice; orchestra, theory, two lessons per instrument per week, additional lessons for reed-making, etc.)

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    #185495 - 03/21/14 10:32 AM Re: If your child is gifted with a sport/instrument... [Re: ultramarina]
    polarbear Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/29/11
    Posts: 3363
    Originally Posted By: ultramarina
    I
    Quote:
    When I *would* worry is if it became so all-consuming that he's practicing constantly at home and refusing to do other things like play/exercise/enjoy just hanging out with your family etc.


    Frankly, yes, this is a bit of an issue. We're an outdoorsy family, and these days there is a conflict between DS wanting to stay inside and play chess (and other games--he is very game-focused, so it's not just chess) and the rest of us wanting to hike and so on. I mean, it's not a major issue, and it may have been this way anyway due to him being slightly different in his preferences.


    The one thing I do *not* like about my dd's being in a sport after school 4 days per week is it has changed the dynamics of family time after school. In some ways it's been good for our family - my older kids come home and do their homework and have time to just hang out. There's less chaos with that third child out of the house wink OTOH, it plays complete havoc with our "family" dinner, which was important to me. We either have to let it go until late (which doesn't work for anyone else in the family - we would starve *plus* stay up too late after eating) and dd doesn't have anytime to just hang with her siblings during those days. Plus my dh either stays late at work so he can pick her up on the way home (which means less dad time for our other kids at night), or one of us has to leave home during after-dinner prime-time to pick her up, again, less parent time for the other kids. Looking at any one night, it doesn't seem like too big of a deal, but the many nights do add up.

    I also like to get my kids outdoor to hike/bike/play/whatever. I think exercise is really important too. If my dd wasn't in an active sport, I'd probably not let her devote so much time to it each night.

    We've also had to talk finances (in general, not specifics) with our dd. She would like to participate in competitive dancing, and we just can't afford either the travel or the private (extra) lessons that would be a part of it. Or the costumes lol! It wasn't an all-or-nothing type of thing, we just explained that (whatever) cost $, and we had so much $ per child we could spend on activities, and that meant we all had to make choices. We let her choose - she could have opted out of her 4-night-a-week sport entirely and focused on dance, and participated up to a certain point and that would have been ok with us, but she made the choice not to get more involved with dance, understanding that we just don't have the $ to go "all in".

    polarbear

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    #185496 - 03/21/14 10:34 AM Re: If your child is gifted with a sport/instrument... [Re: ultramarina]
    binip Offline
    Member

    Registered: 03/10/14
    Posts: 96
    At my kids' age we only have an hour a week for each in lessons but they practice on their own. They both practice their instruments for about 5 hours per week including the lesson. Their teacher has said both of them have an exceptional capacity for melody and rhythm.

    For sport, the little one has been said to be very advanced in martial arts--she is a lefty and has a lot of those typical lefty traits. However, she doesn't practice at all so it's a mere 2 hours a week.

    I'm sure if I were a SAHP they'd do more because they'd come home and have "free time" after school.

    GF2 Do you homeschool or are you guys just incredibly well-organized?


    Edited by binip (03/21/14 10:35 AM)

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    #185498 - 03/21/14 10:54 AM Re: If your child is gifted with a sport/instrument... [Re: binip]
    ColinsMum Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/19/08
    Posts: 1898
    Loc: Scotland
    I'm really surprised at the large numbers here. Many of your kids are spending longer on a single activity than the number of waking non-school non-travelling hours my kid has in total!

    DS10 spends about 7 or 8 hours a week between 2 instruments, including lessons, ensemble and time snatched in school breaks. Not sure I'd describe him as really committed in the sense meant here; he's keen and conscientious and good for his age (but not the way he is in maths), but not straining to spend all the time he can on music; he still wants time for maths, computing, and games!

    FWIW, I think if ultramarina's son were mine, I'd allow him to do the amount of chess he's asking for to the extent that its impact on other family members was acceptable, but I'd try really, really hard not to get invested in his success myself, and not to assume he'd want to do X this year because he was doing it last year - make sure the way is clear for other interests to rise up if they will.
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    #185499 - 03/21/14 11:04 AM Re: If your child is gifted with a sport/instrument... [Re: ultramarina]
    Zen Scanner Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/13/12
    Posts: 1478
    Loc: NC
    As a focus, it sounds like 15hr/week is the bottom end of "dedicated" whether sport, music, or other. Which from age 5 to 18 ends up near 10,000 hours of practice.

    My rough estimate of 3 hours a day on weekends, 1.5 hrs a night, and 1hr a day in class has DS8 at 18.5 hours a week doing math. Since the home part is self-directed, it's interesting to see that range line up from his own instincts. This year with math at school closer towards his level, his home time has dropped a bit.

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    #185501 - 03/21/14 11:14 AM Re: If your child is gifted with a sport/instrument... [Re: ultramarina]
    Dude Offline
    Member

    Registered: 10/04/11
    Posts: 2856
    Originally Posted By: ultramarina
    I guess my DD10 probably does about 5-6 hours of activities per week (so, I guess about what your DD does, Dude).


    On average, yeah, with some significant fluctuations. She can easily get to 10-15 hours in a week with just theater alone, in the final run-up to a performance, but that does temporarily crowd out some of the other activities. Right now she's at only about 1.5 hours a week, as she waits for those other activities to ramp up. We haven't identified a piano teacher for her yet, and soccer doesn't start until around August.

    Originally Posted By: ultramarina
    It's the single focus on one competitive thing here (for a little guy) that I wonder about here for DS. He does actually have some interest in sports, too, and I feel like a heavy chess schedule kind of precludes that.


    Yeah, I totally get your concern there. We have always insisted that at least one of DD's activities has to be an athletic one, for health reasons. This policy has proven itself to be good for her in other ways as well.

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    #185502 - 03/21/14 11:22 AM Re: If your child is gifted with a sport/instrument... [Re: ColinsMum]
    JonLaw Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/29/11
    Posts: 2007
    Loc: The Sub-Tropics
    Originally Posted By: ColinsMum
    I'm really surprised at the large numbers here. Many of your kids are spending longer on a single activity than the number of waking non-school non-travelling hours my kid has in total!


    Well, in the case of things like dogging, a lot of it is travel time, so you spend 12 hours in a van with dogs in crates.

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