Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Is this something I should pursue?

Hi. Okay. I'm brand new.

Really I created a registration on here so that I could find out if I should start pursuing testing or just ways to be an advocate for my kids.

My daughter is 2 1/2. She is starting to read short phonetic words. She has always been ahead physically (fine and gross moter skills like: She walked at 8 months and could take a pen cap on and off at like... 9-10 months?? hard to remember). She has also been advanced in her speech and the concepts she understands. She had about 20 words she used regularly at 12 months and a whole list of other's she used at some points. Her first sentance at 14 months and now she asks totally complicated questions, has complete discussions with us about some pretty complex stuff. She wants to know how things work and whats going on in many situations. She almost ALWAYS speaks in the proper tense and ALWAYS has. She's really good at adult conversation and she prefers friends at LEAST a year older than her.

My son is only 7 months. He said his first word at 5 1/2 months(Momma), he uses it very intentionally. And, though we are trying to remain sceptical and not be expecting much we THINK he may be saying two other words (Hi and Batman). These are more recent. He is also advanced physically. Everything else is a little early to tell but he is crawling, standing, and picking up cheerios. ???

My question is: What do I do?

I'm a stay at home mom and I have time to stimulate my kids and help them meet their full potential. I want to do my best to create opportunities for them to thrive. I don't want to expect too much or be pushy though. I know my kids are not like some of the SUPER gifted kids that like.... talk at 2 weeks old or whatever. But they obviously are bright. I really don't know HOW bright though... should I look into testing for my 2 1/2 year old? Is it helpful to know where you stand? How do I do that? Can I administer anything myself that is an informal sort of thing that will help me decide where to go from here?
How helpful is pre-school? She is already beyond what they teach in pre-school... even to most 4-5 year olds in MOST aspects. But the social opportunity and the chance to work in groups and develop classroom etiquette is important to my husband and I because we intend to homeschool later down the road and we don't want her to be deprived totally of those social and classroom experiences. We want to establish them now. Most pre-schools wont let her in until she's 3 and by then I'm afraid she'll be totally bored. Any advice?
For anything we do at home to help keep their little minds growing is there a place I can find good curriculum for advanced toddler/preschoolers? Should I just use stuff that's meant for older kids early? Any advice on activities that are intellectually stimulating? This young brains are so malleable I don't want to waste these years!

Sorry this was so long. Any help would be really appreciated!

My daughter is now 3.5 and just before her September 2nd birthdate, I put her in a playschool -- 5 days a week. She thrived on the socialization but it was hard that her verbal skills were so advanced of the other kids. The teacher told us that the other kids sat around her while she talked, told stories. But I do not regret it, there were so many non-intellectual benefits at that age.

Now I have her in a really good Montessori, with 3-5 year olds. It works because the teacher is gifted, and she enjoys her classmates.

When a child gets bored, and you can see it at this age, it shows, but I think there are tremendous social advantages in preschool. Learning how to get along, sharing, taking turns, just all kinds of games that kids like to play -- duck, duck, goose.

I am working on a school plan for kindergarten, because I have do all the applications starting in September for 2009, and I am concerned about the environment and what would work. Seeing her in preschool is great for me to understand her needs better rather than projecting.

We had her tested at 2 for a gifted preschool. We knew she was smart, we didn't know how smart. So it is nice to have an idea, but you still wonder because they go through stages. We tested her again because the preschool didn't take her, she was a month too young, and we thought we look into it again but the tester told us that only go if they put her in with the 4s, she wouldn't do well as the oldest. But they wouldn't put her ahead. All the kids are gifted, so it is hard to make a case. But DD doesn't work well with younger peers. These are the things you start to understand from the social things you learn in their preschool. What is your child really like and what do they need. Doesn't mean you learn all of it, but you start to get it.

Welcome,
Ren

Hi Brittany,
Welcome! I'm so glad you found us.

For something informal (read - you get what you pay for) that you can do at home, try Losing Our Minds: Gifted Children Left Behind by Deborah L. Ruf

if you like the book, you may want to set up a visit or conference call with Dr. Ruf. Don't we deserve to build a relationship with a trusted professional who understands our gifted children?

also - browse through http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A2GIEWPMJNA3G9/ref=cm_cr_dp_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort%5Fby=MostRecentReview

As for preschool, there isn't much point in putting a child with agemates to learn socialization skills. A few hours a day of supervised play can be good, particularly if they don't try to teach the ABCs and if it's a mixed age situation.

Remember that your children will always have each other to learn to socialize with, and that is an advantage that seems to make a wonderful difference.

I'm glad to hear that you are planning to homeschool. I don't think you have to rush into socialization now because you are homeschooling - homeschooling just offers to many rich opportunities for peer interaction. If you want your children to have a chance to learn to function away from you and to follow rules, then I can see a purpose to preschool. But if that is your objective, you can also find plenty of experiences later that also offer some actual education as well.

Anyway those are my .02$- Welcome!
Grinity

Welcome!

At that age, you mostly just need to follow the child's lead, as you are already doing. Parenting a GT preschooler is mostly just like parenting any other child, only earlier and more of it!

Generally speaking, I don't think testing at 2.5 is going to tell you too much that's useful--a lot can happen before she hits "real" school. Unless you have a specific question that you need to have answered right now, it would probably just be an expensive confirmation of what you already know: she's smart! Well, duh! You'd probably just have to test again in a few years. And besides, you probably don't really need a test right now; a mom usually knows.

I think it's safe to say that for now, you should trust your gut: if you think she's GT, she probably is, and you should approach her accordingly. If other parents don't believe you when you talk about what your child did or said yesterday and you have to censor what you share at playgroup meetings, there's a good chance your child is GT.

The best advice I can give you is to treat her as a whole person, not a little brain on legs. (Not that you are doing that, of course! But it can be easy with these kids to forget that they're in many ways kids like any other.) Most of what kids learn at this age--and that's ALL kids, GT or not!--is through playing. I mean, if she WANTS to do workbooks and read science books aloud to you or something very school-like, then follow her lead. But if she wants to ride her trike or play soccer or dress up dolls, then that's good, too. None of that is a "waste" of her time. She has her whole life for sitting down and studying; now is the time for her to play!

With that said, a preschool that suits her needs--whatever those needs are right now--might be a good idea. Just don't assume that a highly academic preschool is the best choice. It may be, if their curriculum meets her intellectual needs. But it may not be if they're too far behind her (or ahead of her, of course, but for GT kids, that's not usually the problem).

Many (not all!) of us have had good luck with non-academic, half-day pre-K programs. The kids get the social time and the fingerpainting mess for someone else to clean up (don't underestimate the appeal of THAT! ), and they can get their intellectual needs met at home during the other half of the day. It works surprisingly well a lot of the time.

(In the interest of full disclosure, my mom is a retired pre-K teacher, so I think pre-K can be a really good thing, given the right match between child and program/teacher.)

Another tip that I wish I'd known earlier in the process: expect to reevaluate the school situation as often as once every 6-12 months. Things change fast with these kids, and what works today may not work tomorrow. Many of us have found that we no sooner have a solution in place that seems to work, but the child has outgrown it.

Until she enters pre-K, just keep doing what you're doing. Often you do have to use materials for older kids. That's fine. Just be sure that if she's emotionally sensitive (as many GT kids are) that nothing in the material will be troubling to her. Otherwise, just keep following her lead, following her interests. Answer her questions. Go to the library. Read to her about things she loves and topics she knows nothing about yet. Go to the park and the museum and the zoo. Make friends. Swing.

You know, be her mom!

There's plenty of time to be stressed out later. Trust me! For now, just have fun with her. Happily, there's nothing wasted in time spent doing that.

Hi Brittany,

I think your children sound like they would be in good company around here.
If you think DD might like a pre-school, keep looking around. I found a 3 year pre-school that would take DD8 at 2yr.5mo., but she was also already potty trained.
If your child is advanced past pre-k academically, there isn't any harm in putting her in pre-k for social reasons, especially if she likes it.
Just don't pay the whole year tuition upfront!

IMHO I'd wait til the child is 5 to test. I believe that's the earliest to test for an accurate eval, give or take a month or two.

Welcome aboard.

Thanks! These have been really helpful so far! That part about having to censor myself TOTALLY hits home!! I think some people just pretend to believe me. My sister outright says "nuh uh!! She's not olde enough for that" I'm comfortable with her enough that I say "wanna bet?!" and then we prove it :-) But the rest of the world.... gosh... I feel like if I talk about our daily life people will thik I'm just bragging or making stuff up!

My daughter is very active. She loves to run and play and I give her lots of time to just FIND things to do on her own so she can explore and be creative. I try to remember that just letting her play and imagine is really important too. There are times in the day though where she seems to want to be acedemic.... weird.
:-)... but really... she'll ask me to remind her which letters say what sounds and she'll coach me and tell me "what's this one?....no.... look at it again... very good!" hee hee. And she really enjoys reading the short words I make for her with her magnet letters. I don't want to structure time where she HAS to do this stuff.. I don't want to burn her out. But I do want to make the most of the Xnumber of minutes a day when she wants to practice letters and numbers and stuff. I want it to be fun too. That math game that someone reccomended looked great. Thanks!
I have her on the waiting list at a pre-school that said they would concider taking her before she turned 3. She already visited for a day and did just as well as, if not better than, the 3, 4, 5 year olds that had been aclimated to it all year. I think that helped them decide it would be okay to have her. and she LOOOOOVED it. SHe wanted to go back the next day. I really want her to have that opportunity if I can. It has become really annoying trying to set up playdates! So something we can count on would be good. I donno... I guess I'll just wait it out and let God take control. If pre-school next year is best I'm sure He'll open a spot up for her. If not... next year!... Or maybe by then things will have changed enough that we decide against it... Things to change fast! Thanks for the advice on reevaluating. That's a really helpful tip! Now that you mention it I can see how important that would be with kids that learn and change sooo fast!

Any other comments and ideas and tips would be great!!!

Are puzzles a really good one? What other activities are captivating, fun, and educational?

Thanks! I'm glad you guys are confirming what I've been suspecting. I figured that ALL parents think their kids are little superstars and I didn't want to be just projecting. It feels sooooooooo good to have people to talk to that understand. I feel like most other parents think I'm just bragging, lying, or judging them. Maybe they don't really think that but I'm self-concious about it. I am SO proud of my kids but it's hard to express that without feeling like I'm "superiorizing" them compared to other "average" kids. You know what I mean? I'm sure it's all old hat to you all but this is the first place I feel like I can talk about that! Had to get it off my chest! Thanks!!
That said...
Yeah my girl has been potty-trained for over a year so other than age she qualifies for any pre-school around here. I guess I'll pursue it to a degree... maybe make sure she gets some pre-school in within the next two school years... after that I KNOW she'd be bored out of her mind socially and academically....
thanks for the advice on tuition though. I'll keep her fast changing pace in mind. Also, I think I'll wait to test... maybe I'll never need to. Homeschooling will probably advance her enough that it will fall into place later.

Good advice! Thanks!~

Well, to some kids, academics IS play, so don't feel quilty for following your child's/children't lead. I think there is this social stigma attatched to kids that LOVE to learn. That their parents are "pushing" them. That used to prevent me from providing them a lot of opportunities they would have enjoyed.
Now I just don't worry about it, I do what they want to do.
DD5 is happily completing a library reference workbook when we go to the library every week. Just one page each time. She's really enjoying herself. I saw another mom I know from the public school and she approached us and said: "Oh, you're already preparing them for next year?"
I told her, no, DD5 doesn't need to know any of this stuff for first grade. She just really thinks its fun and wants to be able to navigate the library system without my help.
She actually looked mad when she walked away.
shrug.

Signs your child is different...That's a good one, 'Neato!

And yes, thanks for clarifying. I certainly didn't mean to suggest that workbooks are bad. Learning *is* playing for these kids! But there are different ways to learn, and workbooks are not required for learning to take place. Sometimes helpful, sometimes hurtful, depending on the kid. If the child enjoys a workbook, then it's helpful.

I could have been clearer there!

Brittany, is your daughter my younger son? LOL I swear they have the same milestones. He started reading at similar age, he said his first sentence the day he turned 14 months, he had lots of words by 1st birthday. Ok, he started walking at 9 months

He is turning 4 next month and he is gifted, most likely HG. I have no doubt that your daughter is gifted as well. She is for sure too young to be tested. Yes, you could have her tested now, but the results would be off at this point. It'a hard to get a reasonable sample when you are talking about 2-3 year olds. Most of the kids cannot pay enough attention, are shy, don't care to answer, would prefer to play instead and quite likely know much more than they show. All that messes up the testing sample on which the IQ values are based on. It's better to wait till she is older. I believe even my almost 4 year old is too young to be tested, we will most likely wait another year or so.

I think PreK is nice if you find a place she likes. I am all for play school. Just go in and have fun, forget the academics. Wrong academics is worse than no academics and in most places you get wrong one. I did play school with my older one (DYS) and it worked great. I put my younger one in Montessori for a year and it wasn't a good match to say the least. They had him do academics and much more academics that he would do in a regular preschool, but it was too easy, too boring. He will go to a play based preschool next year and get all the academics his heart desires at home.

As far as what you can do, follow her lead. She will tell you what she is interested in and what she wants to learn. Take her to places, show her different books and subjects and if she shows interest go for it. Educational computer games (Reader Rabbit and such) worked great for us.