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    #179366 - 01/13/14 07:04 AM Sorry, but your child may not really be gifted
    blackcat Offline
    Member

    Registered: 05/23/13
    Posts: 2154
    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/gift...t-not-be-gifted

    Not sure if this article has been posted before. It caused mixed feelings for me, because on one hand I really agree with it, in that there are a lot of advanced young kids out there who are labeled gifted but they are not really gifted. On the other hand, what about the ones who ARE really gifted? Their parents aren't allowed to talk about it?

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    #179389 - 01/13/14 09:35 AM Re: Sorry, but your child may not really be gifted [Re: blackcat]
    Lovemydd Offline
    Member

    Registered: 04/18/12
    Posts: 453
    I was thinking about this over the weekend. I met 2 kids and their moms this weekend. One kid, a just turned 4yo, can add and subtract using his fingers. The other kid, a just turned 5yo reads fluently. Both moms pointed it out proudly and both kids demonstrated their skills. I have known both these kids since they were babies. I am truly happy for how smart they are. However, I am not sure they are gifted as much as prepared. I feel guilty even saying this here on this forum but I know the classes these parents send their kids to that make these kids appear gifted. I never show off my kid (except to my parents and of course here). Some days, I am not even sure she is gifted. But then she does stuff that cannot be taught, that is natural and blow-your-minds-off amazing, that makes me think that she is different. She may not be as prepared, she may not have the training that these other bright kids have. But she has a brain that is constantly thinking and coming up with its own neat ideas on how the world works. So yes, my kid won't tell you what 6x5 is nor read a word in front of others but she will show you her spider web that she has been painstakingly building for the last 2 weeks. I just realize I have been rambling but like I said I have been thinking about this lately.

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    #179396 - 01/13/14 10:02 AM Re: Sorry, but your child may not really be gifted [Re: blackcat]
    HowlerKarma Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/05/11
    Posts: 5181
    Honestly, I don't disagree with the author one bit. Except--

    he's clearly describing his AVERAGE experience here.

    He hasn't encountered very many EG/PG kids, I'll say that.

    If he had, he would have a clearer picture in his mind about why "not sorting them out until 3rd or 4th grade" is not fine for those who ARE in point of fact HG+. You've already lost a good portion of those kids by then, as they have rapidly (just as they learn everything else!) come to the conclusion that "school" is a place you go to do what you're told and experience mind-numbing, punitive indoctrination about things that you have known for a long time.

    So sure, that seems like a good plan, doesn't it? smirk The article is a fine on for average through MG children, probably. But not for the parents who find themselves on this forum, by and large.
    _________________________
    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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    #179397 - 01/13/14 10:14 AM Re: Sorry, but your child may not really be gifted [Re: Lovemydd]
    Val Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/01/07
    Posts: 3290
    Loc: California
    Originally Posted By: Lovemydd
    But she has a brain that is constantly thinking and coming up with its own neat ideas on how the world works.


    This trait, I think, is at the heart of giftedness. Always thinking. Always a new idea.

    I suspect that many parents of truly gifted kids (as opposed to truly prepped bright kids) tend to keep their mouths shut for the most part. I certainly do, and I find that when I bring up my kids' talents in front of the wrong people, things just go downhill.

    I mean, the whole point of prepping is achievement, and it's often driven by the parental units. When you look at it this way, it's hardly surprising that they'll tell people that Little Johnny can read at age 5 or add using his fingers. But if a child does this stuff at age 3 or earlier, of her own accord, there's no inbuilt parental motivation to tell other people. I'm not sure I even told my parents about a lot of the stuff my kids did at very early ages. There was no need. My kids are very smart, we all know it, and that's that.




    Edited by Val (01/13/14 10:17 AM)
    Edit Reason: Clarity

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    #179398 - 01/13/14 10:21 AM Re: Sorry, but your child may not really be gifted [Re: blackcat]
    arlen1 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 11/20/12
    Posts: 113
    Quote:
    somehow look ahead into their child’s third or fourth grade school year, they might be surprised to find that each child is reading now at the same level
    "They all even out by 3rd grade".

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    #179400 - 01/13/14 10:26 AM Re: Sorry, but your child may not really be gifted [Re: arlen1]
    KADmom Offline
    Member

    Registered: 03/11/13
    Posts: 690
    That's what I thought, too. So many ways of saying the same thing.

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    #179402 - 01/13/14 10:37 AM Re: Sorry, but your child may not really be gifted [Re: blackcat]
    kelly0523 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/15/11
    Posts: 187
    All I got from the article is that he chooses not to recognize anyone as gifted unless they meet the criteria based on IQ testing.

    I remember when I first joined this board, I was asking questions about whether or not I should have my DD IQ tested and many people offered opinions that were so insightful and beneficial.

    We have no gifted public education here in MI, I do not have the financial resources to send DD to a gifted private school I more or less wanted her IQ tested so I knew exactly WHO and WHAT I was dealing with. Essentially, just to ease my own mind from any curiosity of whether or not I was adequately helping my very bright DD or hurting her by not doing enough.

    Based on the feedback and personal anecdotes I received I decided not to test at this time. But there are so many signs pointing towards genuine giftedness and not just preparedness or being brighter then average.

    So I guess I am just going to have to be categorized as one of "those" parents. It would have bothered me a year or two ago, but I have realized that my DD and I have nothing to prove, this is her journey, I just want her to make the most of it and feel like she has every opportunity possible.

    I appreciate having this board to read and gather information, to help me because I am more then likely not gifted wink and appreciate the guidance and advice that I receive to navigate my DD forward on her journey.




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    #179405 - 01/13/14 11:07 AM Re: Sorry, but your child may not really be gifted [Re: blackcat]
    Loy58 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/11/13
    Posts: 816
    While I can understand why this article may be a somewhat useful caution to the general public, it comes dangerously close to slipping into a tone of disregard for the traits of the truly gifted young child. I think, unfortunately, it is this type of thinking that is often used as a justification for not enriching younger truly gifted students. I have come to believe that we need to "feed" the gifted students earlier, not later (3rd grade is too late, IMO). Also, it seems to scoff a bit much at what might be true abilities in young gifted children, IMO.

    The "evening out by third grade" has simply NOT been my experience - at all.

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    #179407 - 01/13/14 11:18 AM Re: Sorry, but your child may not really be gifted [Re: blackcat]
    blackcat Offline
    Member

    Registered: 05/23/13
    Posts: 2154
    Here's another interesting blog post. "Gifted should not be a dirty word."
    http://www.crushingtallpoppies.com/2013/06/just-after-i-posted-my-thoughts-on-g.html

    Ok, so I actually hate the word "gifted", personally. Just because it sounds so elitist, and I wish there was another word or phrase to better describe the condition. I try not to use it but sometimes you have to, such as when you're talking to school officials about "gifted programming". But I usually end up regretting using the word.

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    #179409 - 01/13/14 11:32 AM Re: Sorry, but your child may not really be gifted [Re: Val]
    eyreapparent Offline
    Member

    Registered: 10/20/13
    Posts: 73
    Loc: Canada
    Originally Posted By: Val
    Originally Posted By: Lovemydd
    But she has a brain that is constantly thinking and coming up with its own neat ideas on how the world works.


    This trait, I think, is at the heart of giftedness. Always thinking. Always a new idea.

    I suspect that many parents of truly gifted kids (as opposed to truly prepped bright kids) tend to keep their mouths shut for the most part. I certainly do, and I find that when I bring up my kids' talents in front of the wrong people, things just go downhill.

    I mean, the whole point of prepping is achievement, and it's often driven by the parental units. When you look at it this way, it's hardly surprising that they'll tell people that Little Johnny can read at age 5 or add using his fingers. But if a child does this stuff at age 3 or earlier, of her own accord, there's no inbuilt parental motivation to tell other people. I'm not sure I even told my parents about a lot of the stuff my kids did at very early ages. There was no need. My kids are very smart, we all know it, and that's that.




    I totally agree with this. We don't discuss DD4's progress with anyone - It tends to be a conversation killer.

    This author doesn't take into account that some kids are driven to learn and understand how the world works of their own accord. Independent of whether their parents push them or not. DD's reading and math abilities, though impressive to me and DH, are not what makes us think that she is "different". It's the way she thinks.

    Here's one example of the conversations we have on a regular basis. While giving her baby sister a bath last night DD said, "Mom, why was I born first and DD11 months born second?" I tried to just solve this the easy way and say, "We just had you first." That answer was not acceptable to her. She continued, "Ya but why am I me and why is she her. Who decides who is who and why?" Now we live in what I would call an "enriched" environment - a lot of books and geeky hobbies, but nothing during our days of playing lego and watching Gillian's Island involves this type of philosophical exploration.

    I fail to see how, if some children think like this at 3 or 4 years old how they can even out with other children by grade 3? That would mean that they would have to stagnate for the next 4 years. That logic is mind boggling.


    Edited by eyreapparent (01/13/14 11:50 AM)

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