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Our son goes to a charter school of less than 50 children over eight grades.

He's in first grade, but is in second reading/spelling and third math.

There's a girl in first grade that he likes to play with that the boys in first and second grade give him a hard time about being interested in.

She is delayed, to be honest. She and her sister are both in lower than grade classes.

My son loves her. She is a good friend and he likes to play with her and is proud to bring home pictures she draws for him.

However, he tells me (with a tearful voice), that the "guys" make fun of him for liking _____. They say he's crazy. (With the accompanying swirling motion around the ear.)

I'd like to know if your child is one to befriend those who are not the "darlings" of the class. How do you respond to the bullying of them and their friend?

Hopefully the bullying can be nipped in the bud.

My thought would be to talk with ds, making a list of positive qualities of his friend. From your post I've learned that his friend draws nice pictures. Your son could answer a bully's statement with a compliment about his friend such as: She draws nice pictures.

Then help him make a list of good qualities about the bullies. Maybe one of them runs fast. Maybe one of them sings. This may help him see the bullies as regular kids with many attributes (including an occasional desire to mock).

Decide if you want to involve the teacher. Hopefully she will appreciate knowing what has been going on, and help mention compliments toward this student as needed. Each of the teacher's compliments to this student may need to be balanced with a compliment to another person, so that students do not see the girl as weak.

Authentic, well-deserved compliments lavished on all students in the class can help boost the morale of a classroom. Kids often begin to emulate the behavior they see role modeled, and may begin to speak in compliments to each other.

Some teachers have done a class exercise in which each student writes a positive statement about each other student. These are collected onto a page and kept. Sometimes they are decorated with artwork and borders. The teacher may read them to the class. There are stories with examples of this on the web. Sometimes lists of character traits are used. It depends on the situation.

He is showing great empathy and kindness in sticking by his friend. I would try show him how to make and stick to his choices based on how he feels and not to let pressure from outside sources affect his choices. Good life opportunity.

What is the school's attitude towards bullying? It's not as if it's a gigantic school where the school staff mightn't know everything that's happening.

It definitely seems like the school doesn't care.

There is a problem at the school if this is not being addressed and dealt with at that age group. I work in a public school and if I saw that going on or heard about it and investigated further and found it to be true, action would take place to make it stop.

I would email the teacher and ask to have a phone conference to discuss what is going on and to find out if the school is aware of it and what they are doing or plan to do about it (if you are making them aware of it).

Next, I would teach your son how to respond to a bully. Kids who bully look for a reaction from the person being bullied (tears, fear, that sort of thing). When the boys tease him about playing with the girl, he needs to look them in the eye and matter of factly tell them something like this: It seems like you are having a bad day today. The things you are saying are not nice. Normally I do enjoy talking to you, but not when you say mean things, so I am leaving but if your mood changes and you want to be nice again, feel free to let me know. Maybe we can play together later.

If he shows self confidence and no fear, the boys should stop picking on him.