Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy is this a HG thing in my 3 year old?

I have a PG DS, 7 years old. From birth he was super social and he still is. He has always greeted everyone with a smile and never had a moment where he ducked away because he felt shy.

My DD is 3 and we suspect she may be even more gifted than DS. She is not as social as her big brother. I view her as more in the "normal" range of social behavior of a 3 year old - sometimes she hides behind me when we meet someone new - that seems normal to me.

But for the past few months, this shyness has taken on a strange quality (at least it seems that way to me). For example, she was sitting next to her toddler singing class teacher during lunch the other day. We've known this lady for several months and she is fabulous and friendly and all the lovely things that a toddler singing teacher should be. DD has always been affectionate to her. But DD buried her head in her hands and refused to acknowledge her teacher. When I whispered in DD's ear and asked what was wrong, she stated that she couldn't look at her teacher. She was afraid of the teacher looking at her. (DD has never had a moment alone with the teacher as I attend the class with her, so I know she has never had a negative experience with her.) And DD has done this a few times now with other people. She covers her ears when a familiar person says hello. She throws her body up against a wall to avoid looking at someone. Is this normal 3 year old behavior? Is this normal HG+ 3 year old behavior?

I have to say, I'm a little worried about her because it seems like she is genuinely suffering when she gets this way. Any insight is much appreciated!

Overexcitabilities? People can have an overwhelming amount of information in body language, facial expessions, intonation. She could be saturated and may be starting to piece together secondary meanings which gives her more information than she wants, and she may not understand where that information is coming from. It's one direction to probe.

I know it is probably scaring you and you are thinking aspergers or something dire. Don't panic. It could easily just be overexitabilies and difficult stage combining to make something horrid. Give lots of security and comfort, take notes to see if there is a pattern and give it some time. If you are still concerned in six months or so or it gets to the point you can't have a life organise an appointment with an expert.

I know a kid with similar problems and I really think I have seen some improvement since he started school. And be kind to yourself - it is not easy for anyone and you are far from alone.

My DD went through a similar phase although she would do the twitching/wringing hands thing while averting her gaze/hiding her face. It seems to have been an OE linked behavior.