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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,032
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DD5: [rationalization/excuse/complaint]
me: well, let's just assume that's true for a moment. what on EARTH will you do about it?
works every time! OMG! I am so stealing this for not only my two boys but all the kids I work with! I'm stealing this, too! This is my new DS-grouching mantra! 
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,181
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Joined: Feb 2011
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Possibly pulling your leg, but not necessarily. One thing would be to wonder if there were conversations around that time about his lack of challenge and if those stuck.
Speaking from my own personal experience, starting in K or 1, I decided to try and make things more interesting. I didn't imagine an outside source for changing school like a skip or such. So, I began rushing through everything as my own personal "avoid boredom and be challenged" technique. I had a basic goal of getting only a 90 something on anything and 100 was generally a failure as I had put an unmeasurable amount of extra work into the process. Every test, had to be the first one to turn it in. Certainly didn't help my already wonky handwriting.
Can't say your son has had the same pov, but it is possible. You might be able to probe it past the surface response to see if he has a full inner-working behind that.
As to excuses, well I was also great at appearing to have excuses for everything, to me they were hypotheses and explanations in an attempt to understand why I did what I did or why something didn't work. ^ this.
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,181
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Posts: 5,181 |
Or he feels under attack and is retaliating by hitting him somewhere that he thinks you may have a guilty consience. Do you teach music to him? Or does he have someone else who can provide constructive criticism? Adolescents are the MASTERS of this kind of emotional low-hitting during disagreements. Maybe it's just high LOG adolescents that find the mark so often, but MAN, can my DD ever deliver a killer punch.
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,432
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Joined: Feb 2011
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That's pretty much what he got from me . . . along with an annoyed tone.
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,432
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,432 |
That's what I figured. My variation is a bit more impatient and less tolerant - I would never win Mommy of the year!
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Joined: Feb 2011
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,432 |
There's probably quite a bit of you in DS. The other day, I point blank told him there is no award/admiration for speed unless it is a speed contest and in fact it would be considered a deficit if speed is coupled with inaccuracies.
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Joined: Feb 2011
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Posts: 1,432 |
That's cute . . . now, if only I were that nice. Seriously though, I used to be nicer when he was younger and I perceived him as being more delicate. At this point, he is 10 and I expect better from him.
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Joined: Feb 2011
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You are probably right. He has a music teacher but I try to prevent bad habits while he is practicing sometimes (every two or three practice sessions) because bad habits are such a waste of time and effort to correct. Then there is the issue of badly played music being grating on the ears.
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Joined: Feb 2011
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Yeah, I am sure I have something to look forward to in their teenage years.
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