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    Joined: Aug 2013
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    Hi - I've seen a bit of research about skipping years, which suggested it is usually beneficial for a gifted child. I am thinking of this for my daughter who has been working at much higher levels than her classmates for a couple of years. It would mean skipping the last year of primamry and going stright to intermediate. My concern is that she is struggling socially at the moment, and what if there is a load of teasing due to her having skipped a year. Has anyone else done this?
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    Helen

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    Sometimes the social struggles are because she's too mature for her age peers.

    Social struggles in primary school also have a habit of sorting themselves out in intermediate school, where ability grouping and tracking becomes common.

    It works out very well for gifted kids in most cases, but can go tragically badly in some. It's all individual. I can say my mother rejected skipping me, I did skip my own DD8, and I think both actions were correct for the individuals involved.

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    I skipped both of my children. My DS has adjusted well with no social problems, but he is very social and outgoing by nature. My DD is a little socially immature and has more difficulty. She is 10 and entering 7h grade this year. I have noticed that things are improving, though. She never had to endure teasing. The kids were usually impressed that she got skipped.

    The decision needs to be based on your daughter's social AND academic needs.

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    Originally Posted by HKR
    Hi - I've seen a bit of research about skipping years, which suggested it is usually beneficial for a gifted child. I am thinking of this for my daughter who has been working at much higher levels than her classmates for a couple of years. It would mean skipping the last year of primamry and going stright to intermediate. My concern is that she is struggling socially at the moment, and what if there is a load of teasing due to her having skipped a year. Has anyone else done this?
    Thanks
    Helen

    From what I have read in the IOWA Scale, skipping across 'buildings' is not recommended as the child will have to adjust to a new building, new staff and new peers instead of just new peers. Ymmv.

    I turned down a skip as an 11 year old but am skipping my DD from 2nd to 4th. She groks things so fast that I worry about her needing more than one skip but we are taking one step at a time. DD starts 4th next Thursday so starting to get ready...

    Last edited by madeinuk; 08/20/13 12:15 PM.

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    Sometimes gifted kids have an uneven development.. while my kid's intelligence is much higher for his age.. his emotional side is much younger than his age- that is where I think a lot of problems come in when skipping grades..generally I think personally that skipping grades is find for bright above average kids because their development is normal.. but I think it's probably not always best for gifted kids.

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    Our ds skipped 6th this year. He scored very high on the Iowa Assessment Scale and ironically the only points off he received were for having a sibling (though his is 24) and for social reasons. I assume for what was perceived as his social immaturity and sensitivity. As his mother, I understood that more often the issue was ds's intolerance of others' immaturity.
    He has adjusted quite well into the 7th grade socially. Yes, he's a bit of a "novelty" and while he could probably go up even higher to find his maturity peers, he's not stuck in old patterns and perceptions with his old classmates.He's made some like-minded friends and he feels as if he fits right in.

    So sometimes, it's not what you think. I would observe how your child is around her age peers and how she is around older kids. Does she seem more relaxed around older kids. There are other things to consider once they get older. Even though ds's grade point average is high even in his new grade, I wouldn't consider advancing him anymore unless it was subject advancement only.

    Last edited by KADmom; 10/19/13 05:33 AM.
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    When you say someone is immature for their age you assume that they will grow up and become more mature. But often what people see as immaturity is just personality - extreme sensitivity or the inability to tolerate certain things (noise, smells, boredom) are just how the person is. A person who is expending a lot of energy coping with the environment they are in has limited resources for coping with social situations requiring skill and attention.

    Ok I have a chip on my shoulder about this - I was kept in the half of the class that went in the bottom composite (ie the 3/4 rather than the 4/5) because i was one of the youngest in the class and "socially immature" - i was both bored rigid and convinced they thought i was stupid and at 44 i am still socially immature.

    Last edited by puffin; 10/19/13 04:32 AM.
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    Originally Posted by puffin
    When you say someone is immature for their age you assume that they will grow up and become more mature. But often what people see as immaturity is just personality - extreme sensitivity or the inability to tolerate certain things (noise, smells, boredom) are just how the person is. A person who is expending a lot of energy coping with the environment they are in has limited resources for coping with social situations requiring skill and attention.

    Ok I have a chip on my shoulder about this - I was kept in the half of the class that went in the bottom composite (ie the 3/4 rather than the 4/5) because i was one of the youngest in the class and "socially immature" - i was both bored rigid and convinced they thought i was stupid and at 44 i am still socially immature.

    Ds is sensitive and outraged by others' behavior. He's a great kid with a sense of humor and a quick wit. He can hold his own with adults and older kids but completely loses his cool with friends who act badly or unfairly. So he's the one the parents make a point to keep out of the gang if there are plans to go anywhere. What a message that has given him: do what you know is right, don't cheat, exclude others, lie, hurt others physically but tolerate it when it's done to you by most of your "friends."


    Last edited by KADmom; 10/19/13 05:43 AM.
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    Originally Posted by puffin
    at 44 i am still socially immature.
    Your posts reveal a person who is insightful, caring, level-headed, industrious, and humorous. Hopefully through helping your child, you'll heal old wounds from voices of those who did not understand. Having had negative experiences may uniquely qualify parents to help our child/ren process similar things.

    Originally Posted by KADmom
    Ds is sensitive and outraged by others' behavior. He's a great kid with a sense of humor and a quick wit. He can hold his own with adults and older kids but completely loses his cool with friends who act badly or unfairly. So he's the one the parents make a point to keep out of the gang if there are plans to go anywhere. What a message that has given him: do what you know is right, don't cheat, exclude others, lie, hurt others physically but tolerate it when it's done to you by most of your "friends."
    This may be the gifted characteristic of moral sensitivity described in this link to a SENG article:
    http://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/identity-development-in-gifted-children-moral-sensitivity
    Quote
    " Starting from an early age, many gifted children show evidence of moral sensitivity. These children tend to care about others, want to relieve pain and suffering or show advanced ability to think about such abstract ideas as justice and fairness. "
    It is walking a fine line to affirm their moral sensitivity while tempering that with the grace to let some things go, move on, find what one has in common with another.

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    Originally Posted by indigo
    Originally Posted by puffin
    at 44 i am still socially immature.
    Your posts reveal a person who is insightful, caring, level-headed, industrious, and humorous. Hopefully through helping your child, you'll heal old wounds from voices of those who did not understand. Having had negative experiences may uniquely qualify us to help our child/ren process similar things.

    Originally Posted by KADmom
    Ds is sensitive and outraged by others' behavior. He's a great kid with a sense of humor and a quick wit. He can hold his own with adults and older kids but completely loses his cool with friends who act badly or unfairly. So he's the one the parents make a point to keep out of the gang if there are plans to go anywhere. What a message that has given him: do what you know is right, don't cheat, exclude others, lie, hurt others physically but tolerate it when it's done to you by most of your "friends."
    This may be the gifted characteristic of moral sensitivity described in this link to a SENG article:
    http://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/identity-development-in-gifted-children-moral-sensitivity
    Quote
    " Starting from an early age, many gifted children show evidence of moral sensitivity. These children tend to care about others, want to relieve pain and suffering or show advanced ability to think about such abstract ideas as justice and fairness. "
    It is walking a fine to affirm their moral sensitivity while tempering that with the grace to let some things go, move on, find what one has in common with another.,,

    Nicely said. Helpful article, too.

    Last edited by KADmom; 10/19/13 07:29 AM.
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