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    Joined: May 2013
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    Do you call and leave a message and they call back? Send an email? I usually send emails but have noticed that sometimes the kids' teachers don't even reply or it takes them several days. Is this typical? If I call, I worry the teacher will call back at a time that's very inconvenient (for instance I'm in the car with my kids listening to the conversation).


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    I read something about dealing with managers at work that said that it is important for employees to find what the bosses communication style was (in person, phone, email, paper note) and to mirror it.
    It is just plain rude for the teacher and principal not to write back to you!

    I talk to my children's teachers with a lot of different methods. At drop off, at pick up, by email, they are always responsive. I am always at the school, I am the one who offers to photocopy spelling lists, who organizes the Fall Festival, who re-shelves books in the library. I am probably at each of my children's schools 5 hours a week. My house is a mess but my children are being educated well! smile My advice is to get into the classroom and be as helpful as you can. If you work, as the teacher if there is something you can help with from home. It really does make a difference!

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    In third grade they don't want anyone in the classroom, except for special events. I am going in on Halloween to help with a party and hopefully that will give me a better idea of what goes on in there.

    DS's first grade teacher put out a request for volunteers, but each parent is only on the schedule about twice per month (for only an hour at a time). One parent at a time, even though I'm sure they could use more help. DS's first grade class has 22 or 23 kids and no aide. It's like they don't want parents in there--are they worried about being on show and don't want parents watching them, or what?

    For drop off/pick up, the parents never see the teachers. The kids just come out the doors on their own. The last time I tried to talk to a teacher after school the secretary had to open the locked school door for me.

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    Really? My dd is in third and they can't seem to get us in there enough, they love having parents there!
    I don't know how I would react to a school not allowing me to be present. The teachers know that I am there to take in what my children are doing and learning and not to judge the teachers at all. That just doesn't seem right to me!

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    Originally Posted by daytripper75
    I read something about dealing with managers at work that said that it is important for employees to find what the bosses communication style was (in person, phone, email, paper note) and to mirror it.
    It is just plain rude for the teacher and principal not to write back to you!

    I talk to my children's teachers with a lot of different methods.

    ^This.

    I try to determine which method any particular teacher or administrator PREFERS right away each year-- in part so that I know, and also in part so that DD does.

    We use the method most likely to yield positive and rapid results. That differs by individual.



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    I'm having the same issue. DS5's teacher even mentioned that email is the best way to reach her but then out of 4 emails she only responded once and that was couple days later. I don't need a lengthy reply. Just an acknowledgment that she got whatever I sent and if she has any input. A simple ok or thank you would be enough! When I have something really important, I put a note in DS's folder because I know the teacher checks it every day. She DID call me once as a response to my email because it required a more lengthy conversation so that was a nice change. But overall I'm not very happy with the communication but I wasn't expecting it to be anything too good given my experience with DSS who's now 20 and whose teachers back in middle school when we had issues always promised to keep me in the loop, regularly email me, blah blah blah and never did past the first week of our agreement.

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    I wonder if this depends on geographic region, because I have a problem getting people to return my emails just in general. It's like people just don't understand that you should return an email just like you would return a phone call. The most annoying thing is that I went in to talk to her the week before school started and told her that there was a breakdown in communication last year and that DD was doing poorly on her meds for a few months before I even heard about it. I told her it's going to be really important to communicate back and forth and she seemed to agree. So for her to just ignore an email after that discussion is over the top. In the email I mentioned that I think DD should be evaluated and I've brought up her possible need for a 504 a couple times in the past, so it's possible she's checking into that, but why not just write back and say that. I guess instead of becoming furious about it I should just call her, hope she calls me back, and ask her if she received my email.

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    I find this to be a school culture issue. Some schools are open and great about communication and some are not. My neighborhood public school just got email accounts 2 years ago (hello 21st century!). From what I hear, they never use them. My current school, a charter school, is generally GREAT about email communication. They openly acknowledge that they have to be if they are to be up to date.

    However, as much as they tell everyone that they are open to parents in the school, I have personally found that NOT to be the case. They don't want parents to be anywhere near academics. They want parents to come only at lunch and recess.

    When dealing with the brick wall of not being allowed in my child's classroom, all I can think of is a line from the movie, "Crossing Delancey" (I must have seen this in my teens). Paraphrased, "I made myself into a piece of furniture and planted myself there." That's what I did to get into my child's classroom. I asked and asked and offered to volunteer and teach and whatever. Finally, I just showed up and sat down.

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    Originally Posted by blackcat
    It's like people just don't understand that you should return an email just like you would return a phone call.
    If I understand correctly, public school e-mails can be subject to open records (with student information redacted) and may be admissible for any possible future legal proceedings. Therefore teachers/schools/districts may prefer to receive written e-mail communications but may be hesitant to respond, or may be instructed not to respond under certain circumstances.

    Originally Posted by blackcat
    ... told her that there was a breakdown in communication last year and that DD was doing poorly on her meds for a few months before I even heard about it.
    Might this be put in the positive, possibly by saying that once contacted about your daughter's meds, you were able to address that, for the benefit of all (your daughter, fellow classmates, the teacher)... that you look forward to hearing the teacher's observations so you can continue to provide needed support.

    Originally Posted by blackcat
    it's possible she's checking into that, but why not just write back and say that.
    Some have had good results by including a request in the e-mail for the teacher to please contact them when they've received the message.

    E-mail is known for a flat, impersonal, or abrupt tone, which can come across as negative and sabotage communications. Some have found good results by writing following a "sandwich" formula:
    1) positive opening: for example agreeing with, thanking for, or sharing a positive observation.
    2) the middle: your "beef"... the "meat" of the situation... talking "turkey"... etc (apologies to vegans, I know no vegan expressions for this... YET)
    3) positive closing: for example looking forward to hearing their thoughts, working together, expressing confidence in them and in finding a great way to move forward. Sometimes it may reduce a sense of feeling pressured, if a parent asks if they've not reached out to the correct person, would the teacher share with you who you might contact with these thoughts.

    Lastly, there is good and bad in everything... public forums provide great crowd-sourced information in a short amount of time... parents are not the only ones to read forums, but teacher/schools/districts may as well. Therefore some posters choose to remain as positive as possible on forums, knowing their child's teacher/school/district may view their posts. Families may not realize they are communicating with teachers/school staff through forums.

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    If I need to I talk to the teacher after school (mornings are a bit hectic). I have never sent an email - it is like sending someone out in the dark and hoping they make it back which is far too stressful for me. I can't help thinking though if even half of the parents of the kids in ds' class sent one email a week it could still cause quite a bit of work.

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