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    Joined: Mar 2007
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    acs Offline
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    I agree meeting with some of the older kids is good idea. Though, I will interject that I was skipped into a class in which I already had a good friend. She had a hard time accepting me, since part of our relationship had been that she was "bigger" than me. She punished me socially for moving into her space. I know this is a different situation but I don't want people to assume that just having a friend in the next class will always make things better.

    There can be real shunning by the old friends as well. I think girls are especially good at ostrisizing those who break their social rules. And in some cases, skipping up a grade is breaking a pretty big rule.

    There are a lot of circumstances where this is no problem, so I am not saying that a skip will cause problems. But I would be most cautious of skipping a socially accepted girl in a small school.

    Last edited by acs; 05/30/08 09:36 AM.
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    Lisa,
    I have some more questions -

    Does this school go all the way through High School? Does she 'change buildings' or have a lot of new classmates at certian years?

    Is the school willing to keep her where she is and do the skip over the winter break, so that she starts the year fresh with a new grade?

    Does you daughter show any of the behaviors of perfectionism, unwillingness to try things she isn't good at? Or 'having to be perfect?' That is sometimes a better indicator of a parent needing to push than 'good' behavior in school.

    Are there 'January' programs where she could spend time with other gifted children and see what she is missing?

    Can she try attending the 3 'pullout extentions' with the grade 5 kids but staying in 4 for the rest of the day? Her Level of giftedness suggests that she would be a good fit with regular-gifted kids who are a year older.

    Is she a bit on the young side in her classroom to start with?

    Is she heavily involved in an 'afterschool' interest (dance, gymnastics, etc) that takes up a more than usual amount of time and energy?

    Overall my advice is to try the playdates, and keep your eyes open for 'little chances' to let her try to be with older kids. What you don't want is to not push if her reason for resisiting is that she doesn't think she is capable.

    A useful thing that I keep in mind, is that kids only build self-esteem when they succed at challenges that looked 'big' to them when they first faced them. An underplaced kid can get A's all day long and their self-esteem can really suffer. A wonderful teacher can provide challenge no matter what the number on the door is!

    Smiles,
    Grinity



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    Joined: May 2008
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    L
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    wow! what wonderful replies :-) Otherside of the world here so have just woken up and need to rush off to Saturday sports but I will be back later. Thank you so much ladies- I knew this was a great place :-)

    Lx

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    Firstly, a caveat- we spell somethings differently to you down here (colour/color realise/realize etc) Just so you don't think my child must be adopted LOL

    Back to her...

    You asked some questions Grinity:
    Quote
    Does this school go all the way through High School? Does she 'change buildings' or have a lot of new classmates at certian years?
    Yes, the school goes through to the end of formal schooling at aged 18 or so.
    Her new class would literally be above the one she is in. The school is split into junior (k-6) and senior (7-12) and the two school share one campus -one on each side. They share a library, gym, canteen. I love the school and like the fact it's co-ed (single sex secondary ( grades 7-12) schools are very common here), and there are some great families here. I would like to keep the 3 of them (DD5 just started kindergarten) here and most of her friends parents intend them to stay here also. There are approx 600 kids k-6 and 500 7-12. Not sure if that makes it a big school where you are or not! Average here.

    Quote
    Is the school willing to keep her where she is and do the skip over the winter break, so that she starts the year fresh with a new grade?
    Except it would be our summer break, yes this is a possibility assuming a spot becomes vacant in year 6 (which is likely) then she would miss year 5 rather than telescope 4/5. This may work out better as, as many of you have suggested, we could facilitate some friendships with the current year 5 girls over the next 6 months then they could all start year 6 together.

    Quote
    Does you daughter show any of the behaviors of perfectionism, unwillingness to try things she isn't good at? Or 'having to be perfect?' That is sometimes a better indicator of a parent needing to push than 'good' behavior in school.
    She is a perfectionist but is always willing to try new things.

    Quote
    Are there 'January' programs where she could spend time with other gifted children and see what she is missing?
    Already does these and loves them. They are aged based but pitched 2-3 years above age level so I think they would be more challenging than the work she would get if she skipped. She loves these by the way- does them 3 times a year during vactions. They are run by the same university Miraca Gross works at. So now you know where we live!

    Quote
    Can she try attending the 3 'pullout extentions' with the grade 5 kids but staying in 4 for the rest of the day? Her Level of giftedness suggests that she would be a good fit with regular-gifted kids who are a year older.
    Another good suggestion! There are only 3 45 min sessions a week though. But if we were looking at skipping next year this would be a good way to make friends with those kids in the next grade up.

    Quote
    Is she a bit on the young side in her classroom to start with?
    No. Due to her birthday she could have started the year before she did but her preschool recommended she wait a year as she was socially immature. If I knew then what I know now I would have realised what they had assumed was immaturity was really just incompatibility between her and her classmates. Oh how I wish we had started her earlier!! Then we might not be having this conversation grin She is the top third age wise.

    Quote
    Is she heavily involved in an 'afterschool' interest (dance, gymnastics, etc) that takes up a more than usual amount of time and energy?
    Not really- girl guides one afternoon, basketball takes one afternoon for training and game time Saturday morning. She learns the sax but does this during school time. She will start debating with year 5 in term 3 after school one day a week (an initiative in her IEP)

    I loved the comments about staying an extra 6 months with a teacher who 'gets' her (she has had 2 in 5 years who have- the rest weren't bad, just not as accommodating or proactive). I'm leaning towards declining this skip, getting her aquainted with some of the girls in the next grade over the next 6 months with a possible view to moving to their grade come the new school year. And if she doesn't want to do that, just do the best we can each year to keep her accommodated in the grade she is in.

    And then when I think we are all decided, I read Kriston s comment about kids building self esteem by trying things they weren't sure they could do. And wonder if I should gently push her anyway...

    At the end of the day though it has to be her decision and she is pretty adament she doesn't want to go. And if the only reason to send her is to provide more challenging work then as many of you have pointed out that may well not happen anyway making the whole skip pointless.

    I will be sure to keep you posted as to her decision! Thank you again for all your wonderful advice and wisdom. I love reading your posts and have learned so much about gifted education and advocacy from you all over the last few weeks.

    Kind regards

    Lisa

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