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Dearest Trinity,
Happy Birthsday to you. May God bless you..I wish you happiness too. I love birthdays. And the only present I can offer is a free tarot reading...I am an experienced reader and read for free...charging fo readings is against my ethics.
Birthday celebrations are rites of passage. We sing, dance, make speeches, drink, and eat. The ceremony and rituals may be very formal and/or quite elaborate with an abundance of flowers, candles, and decorations. Or, a rite of passage may be marked quietly and simply just by acknowledging it. Sometimes we perform a ritual quietly, in private, to note a personal milestone.

We are somehow changed, hopefully for the better but always different than we were before. In some sense, we are transformed and we acknowledge such transformations with ritual celebrations. Traditional ceremonies honor our ethnic and/or spiritual background, even our history. Special words, music, and food are customary and connect us to each other.
Rites of passage honor the past, acknowledge the present, and give us hope for the future.

I wish you such a great day ahead and a wonderful year and the bestest life!

Love
Dali

Dali,
In which city in India do you live? What languages do you speak?

I'm married to a Malayali. My 2 sons have been raised in a rich combination of the Malayali and American cultures. We have a home in Kerala, near Kochi, but for the most part we reside in The States.

Having seen first hand some of the parenting differences between the cultures, I can say that Indian parents/adults interact with young children (under 5 years of age) MUCH more than the Americans do. The child is nearly constantly in direct contact and conversation with an adult. While there are a few toys to be had, they do not dominate the child's day as they do here in the States. Rather the child is allowed to explore their natural home environment under the constant, vigilant watch of an adult relative or servant.

Really, the children are not read to as much as Americans do; hence the lack of children's books. Young children in India are held much more than here. Here the child is likely to be plunked in a swing, saucer or car seat. The car seat is often misused to be the baby's sleep inducer, too.

To me the young child in upper middle class India is the prince or princess...adored and encouraged to learn as they wish.

In my experience, it is the early childhood experiences in India that really help the gifted potential in the children. The upper level education -- grammar and up -- is a bit too harsh, still, but in my 22 years of being closely tied to the culture, I have seen vast improvements in that area.

As for teaching Siya, I think you've made tremendous gains already. I'm going to have to ponder a bit some solutions for you. It is true that Indians do not recognize giftedness as much as the West and given that the West is pretty limited that way, too, that means you have quite a battle ahead in developing education opportunities for Siya. I have a difficult time getting my DH to understand that our sons are "gifted" and need things to be different than the norm in most aspects of their lives. He feels that "gifted" is a ridiculous American invention. teehee!! Funny thing is both his parents, who reside in India, think the boys are "extremely too intelligent" (to quote Achaachin -- FIL) and they know that changes must be made to accomodate their learning. How that knowledge missed my husband, I don't know, but oh well, I digress....

I wanted to say, too, that Rite and Siya have the moon in common! When Rite was 19 months, we were driving cross-country through the flat and dry state of Nebraska at night. There was a full moon. Rite always loved the moon and knew the book "Good Night Moon" by heart. When we through a ball in the air it was, "Ball Moon Sky" not "throw the ball" for him. Anyhow, on that drive, he was watching the moon through the window and asked, "Momma. Is the moon a hole or a ball"! I asked him what he thought it was and he said, "I think its a ball, but it looks like a hole." hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Now I'll always wonder.:^)

Our "moon kids", Dali, keep us delighted and slightly worried all at once!!!

Thank you Willagayle for writing in. Siya loved Good Niight Moon too...but she has a very sharp memory and once she reads a book 2 to 3 times she talks anout it to her maid...she rarely picks it up...until another kid comes over and she wants to play the teacher.... yes siya is loved unconditionally an to the extent that she is spoilt. Lots of adults here constantly talking to her. She has many books...but once they are read to her a few times over she is done with them...then she makes stories around it...her current favourite is Goldilocks and There is a nightmare in my closet...
I would warmly welcome suggestions...i am from Bombay but living here in Hisar haryana where my beloved husband lived his life...its a small town...really small...But we are the Royal family here so we can have a few extra things...like arrange a music teacher...we travel to Delhi (3 hrs from here) often and Bombay twice a year.Its quiet a daily challenge to keep her intellectually stimulated. She has started solving puzzles...in less than 20 minutes she can solve them...the second time it takes her under two minutes.
The most difficult is figuring the gifts...she is so good at math...loves music too..give her a brush and she is as involved as van gosh or salvador perhaps. she hates building toys or construction sets or legos...which amuses me...I loved them as a kid...mu aunt got them from USA and we waited for them all year through...for our new lego...and when technic came I was much older but still amused!
Warm regards,
Dali

Dali, you mentiond music, which is an excellent stimulation for any child, gifted or not. Have you ever heard about the Suzuki method of music education? See if you can find any suzuki teachers in your area (Dehli for sure has some :-)
Ania

It sounds like Siya might be ready to look into deeper aspects of reading. When you look at a book like GoodNight Moon, there is much more depth than just the story or words. Does she look for the mouse? Does she notice how the kittens "feel" or how the "mittens" feel? Does she have mittens? Get them wet and let her hang them to dry. See how long it takes to dry wet mittens? How does the old lady look -- old, tired, peaceful?? Is the bed ready to sleep in or ready for rising? Does the rug need dusting? Is the child hungry? Is the fire hot or cold?

There are lots of things to work on in those books than just the quickly memorizable story lines. When you read to her do you emphasize phonics and reading mechanics or do you go off on tangents like the above described?

If you need ideas on developing those tangents let me know. My suspicion is that Siya will enjoy those "finer" aspects of reading even the books she thinks she is bored about.

"Making stories around it" shows that Siya is already, on her own, developing a sense that "reading" is about "knowing" and "experiencing".

Try some easy chapter books next. I'd suggest the Magic Tree series.

As for Legos and the like, do you play with her with those or do you let her play with them herself alone? I'd suggest the latter to the former. Just leave them out in an area where she can get into them at will then when she starts to play with them, stay in the background and let her explore them without instruction or guidance.

It is good you have connections to Delhi and Bombay. We had a flat in Bomday for a long time, but sold it about 10 years ago. Too sad as it would be worth about 10x as much now!!! chuckle.

Anyhow, Delhi has some good bookstores and education options are a bit better, than in the south. I know my husband's young cousins go to schools there in Gurgaon that are much more flexible in learning than the typical Indian school. I'll ask them which they are and what they suggest for you.

You know, really, Siya has it better that there are NOT so many books to choose from, imo. She must rely on her capable mind to entertain herself and it already shows that she has developed there.

Do you ever get a chance to go abroad? Does Amazon deliver directly to you or do you get their deliveries through a third party? What other books do you have?

Do you have a printer? You can print your own pictures and make them into puzzles. Also start doing simple logic puzzles and tricks with her.

Do you have web access at home or do you go to an internet cafe?

Willa

Dear willa,
When I read to Siya I am very animated. Siya has picked that up already...and she is a great actor in the making. she never misses the details in the books...loves the mouse... Infact she loves looking at every page like it were a painting...she loves paintings and stares at them making her own stories.
Most of the books I have ordered are from amazon.com. Actually our house is in gurgaon...but unfortunately our base is Hisar and she cant school in Gurgaon...yet I would be happy to know about your cousins experience and school details...
I'll try the legos suggestion out this week...I hope it works...
I have web access 24/7...a printer too...I do print stuff from the net...she loves sticker books these days...can stick all day...we also find pictures from the newspaper...make a story and stick them in a book.
Love
Dali

Dear Ania,
I'll find out about suzuki teachers ! thank you very much!
Regards,
Dali

Dear ania,
No luck on suzuki method so far. I will try harder. Nothing through the net though.
Regards,
Dali

Dali -

One thing we did with my children was to use tv - don't know what your access is though. We watched carefully chosen educational tv shows together. No wars or blood - but things on how buildings are constructed or how bathtubs are made or the historical origins of a myth. The kids really enjoyed that more than typical kid programming.

Computers were great for us as well. Many great computer games that helped to hone math and reading skills - but also logic, and creativity. I know - seems like a lot for a 19 mo - but you can always start small and expand as their skills grow.

An old fashioned children's encyclopedia worked wonders for us. We bought an old set of 'Charlie Brown's Cycopedia' - and both kids read and reread and reread.

From my experience, money spent on nonfiction was much more useful than money spent on fiction. We also bought many books that were actually intended for much older children or for adults (although always with some prescreening for content). Field guides to nature always were hits. Lots of pictures for when they were in childlike moods - but lots of facts and graphs and maps for when they were in adult mode.

We bought many books used from other people at weekend markets, yard sales, and on ebay. Are there any sources of used books available to you? Large lots can be cheaper than individual titles often.

Can you access hoagiesgifted.com? It is a great web site that has a ton of articles on giftedness. One of the best resources I know.

Many parents of gifted kids have enjoyed the book 'Raising your spirited child' (or something like that - I don't have my son's memory for book titles). Helps you to view things a little different.

Keep in mind your child is different. Normally, in the US, children are expected to nap until age 5 or 6. We stopped naps at around 18 months because they were such a nightmare for the whole family. We replaced them with 'quiet time' - quietly listening to a book on tape or watching a calm movie - and allowing the parent on duty to nap! Made a huge difference in our lives.

We have found that certain foods have very beneficial effects. Carrots with lots of beta carotene and salmon with lots of Omega fatty acids have a very visible impact on my kids' behavior and their ability to control themselves.

Get familiar with Dabrowski's overexcitabilities. (Lots of articles on the internet and some coverage in books as well.) Helps you to better understand the range of normal behavior for gifted children.

Does your daughter pretend at all? Can you encourage that? This creative side can be a real boon. Art, music, stories, games - all can be the result of this - plus it can win you some more time alone as she will be more content to play alone.

Don't worry about social development as though it were the only thing that mattered. It is just one piece of growing up.

Can she start to learn chess? That was another real boon to my DS. It helped him to see a reason to slow down and think before moving.

Oh well- all I can think of - good luck.

Mary

Dear Mary,
Thank you so much for writing in.I watch sensible TV with her too. But since she has syptoms of ADD, I try to minimize TV watching.I do have a whole lot of books. Just bought some encylopedia types.
I have been to hoagies. By their defination siya falls in to the Twice exceptional category.She is an oscar winning performer. She pretends a lot. Animates almost everything she says...I am learning from her in this matter.Loves music and stories...likes to paint but winters I keep paints away...too cold to bathe her or clean up the room...lol.
Is'nt it too early to start chess? May be I will wait a year!
I will resd up about Dabrowski's overexcitabilities.
Will keep the other reccomendations in mind too.
Thank you indeed.
Dali