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I'm in a rush too - but fwiw, of all the 11 year olds I've ever known - some you can tell what they are hard-wired to do from day one, but most are going to change with the wind in terms of interests over the next few years. If she hasn't really had any high-level truly inspiring science courses yet, I wouldn't hedge any bets that she *won't* become interested in STEM - it's possible she just hasn't been exposed to her true passion yet.

FWIW, math and science were always my strongest academic subjects, although I was doing great in school across the board. My mom and dad were also math and science geeks. I, otoh, loved loved LOVED music (still do!), and I was really good at it. I was convinced that I wanted to study music in college right up until I was 16, and had that first talk with a college rep who mentioned money. Salary-type money. I went home and thought things through. Suddenly STEM was much more interesting too me That revelation re salaries also happened the same year I had my first physics course, and that's who I really am anyway. Just because I spent my youth planning to be a music major, followed by a very shallow decision that $ was suddenly more important than being a musician... I still landed where I was meant to be and where I truly have huge passion - in the sciences. I just wasn't far enough along my life's path at 11 to know where that passion was yet.

I suspect that no matter what direction your dd ultimately chooses, she'll be fine

Best wishes,

polarbear

But is that the life you really want for her?

I mean, on a philosophical level, wouldn't it be better from a whole-life perspective for her to FIND a real passion?

Not just something that she happens to have a freakishly good ability in, but could mostly care less about?

Or-- is it time to dig in and FIND the passion within the area that she's so freakishly good at-- probably by exploring different facets of it?

I seriously don't know the answer for PG girls with multipotentiality on the table.

We're facing this too, as you probably know.

Our DD even recognizes that it's a PROBLEM. Colleges want "passion" for something. She does not have that, in spite of her "well-rounded" appearance and avid interest in a variety of things. She takes tremendous enjoyment in a great many things, but is still in the hunt for a "passion."

I think that in part, this is because these are kids that have great cognitive capacity and emotional maturity at a younger-than-typical age; they recognize authenticity (or a lack thereof) in spite of a lack of life experience. They can separate a "crush" on a new thing from "love" for a subject or discipline. They're CHOOSY.

They aren't really dilettantes, they are just still looking for the one true love.


I agree with kcab-- the name of the game here is to keep doors open.

My DD is very very good at a lot of things that she places no personal value upon at all. We aren't sure WHAT to do with her. She has a passion for pleasing other people, mostly. She loves doing community service and teaching. Other than that... well, she's pretty smitten with collaboration in STEM. We're hopeful on that front.

Probably not terribly helpful, sorry.

I'm with those who say work to keep her exposed to a lot of subjects and keep the options open. Perhaps helping her explore the future majors/opportunities that have social aspects (teamwork, problem-solving, etc.), rely upon good writing and yet reward math talent/knowledge. I'm thinking big consulting firms at the moment, but there are plenty of other options.

Personally, I wish someone had encouraged/supported me more in math so those options had remained open for me. I was not as good in it as I was at writing, but was far above average, right up to the point where it became tedious and my love of chitchatting in class/daydreaming took over. I wound up in my major because I had very strong writing/verbal skills. It was a skill set that served me well for many years, but turned out not to be a passion.

You really have to go for where your passion is. I mean, it's great if you can find a way to dovetail the two, but a career/job without any passion is just depressing. My stepmother really tried hard to push me towards writing because I was very good at it, but I just didn't feel any pull towards it, and instead went into IT. I regret NOTHING. I still read voraciously and write periodically, but I'll likely never write a novel and never publish anything else beyond what I did in school. And I'm fine with that.. I know it still to this day bothers my stepmother, but I'm happy with my career and my life.

I'll weigh in on multipotentiality and the quarter-life crisis. Following passion led me from economic research, to strategy consulting for big pharma, to wanting to start a school for my son. I have an interest in finance, a strong social justice streak, a passion for pharma, and have been bitten by the education bug. I think the only answer, for me, is to do it all through serial (social) entrepreneurship.

Maybe that's the answer with multipotentiality--learning how to arrange your passions intertemporally so that you can dabble your way to mastery in a handful of your favourite fields. Then, come out with a wicked interdisciplinary business model centered on the nexus of your interests and launch it either as an entrepreneur or intrapreneur. Really, I think it comes down to giving yourself permission to "play" for a living without the stress of becoming someone to be esteemed.

For your DD, MON, this might mean becoming a mathematician by day and writing math-heavy plays, writing world-class curricula for others, starting a robotics firm and writing defence scenarios, etc. If she has even an inkling of interest in a field, I would hesitate to close that door.

I think it's sometimes hard to tell what is a passion. Wasn't there a discussion on here awhile back about people not liking math because of the way it's taught - or maybe it's a hoagies article. But when you think about it a lot of things we are taught when we are young seem so tedious and boring because you have to do this - there is no connective value to it. Hmm that's triggering something for me - a pg school in CT which teaches trig by talking about sailing, trig was invented because they needed it. But absent those connections I often think students don't see the beauty of what they are learning. So hard to find out if you have a passion for it.

Also what does it mean to be passionate or even interested in things - it's choosing to do something when you don't have to - but do you really need to feel that way to keep doing math. I don't think so. And math is often the gateway to things she might feel passionate about later.

I think I lean toward doing the best you can do in all your subjects, whether you like them or not before you go to college and specialize. And who knows her innate skill might get her to aspects of math she is passionate about. Maybe she doesn't like it because its so darn easy for her. Might be interesting to go deep in whatever you are doing and see how she feels about doing it. Maybe engage a really mathy person - they have very different ideas about what's interesting. And if dd hasn't been exposed to it before maybe going that route would develop something.

But I am sympthatetic to forcing something on someone, piano is what comes to mind, a competent student with no passion. Tiger mom clearly made her daughters keep playing whether they wanted to or not and pursue it at a high level. Because you are talking about math, it feels very different to me, that it should be pursued to the fullest.

And although its not really what you are talking about she is the age where girls seem to just drop math, good at it or not, which ends up steering them towards fields later. Danica McKellar wrote her series of math books for girls who opt out of math because its too hard or irrelevant. But she was a girl very good at math while being an actress. So I think you can be creative and good at math. And the connections between the two can be powerful in our data driven age.

DeHe

You can use your brain in so many ways; she'll figure this out. I agree with PPs about keeping options open; but you can't predict where she'll find her success.

DeeDee

When I was 11, my passion was flight, and I wanted to become an aerospace engineer. When I was 15, I decided I wanted to be a novelist. Three years later, I launched an IT career. So basically, my interests at age 11 weren't predictive.

Who is to say that math is the only time your DD uses her brain?

I say, for the kids who is good at everything, keep pushing at everything. Even if it's not the thing she ends up choosing as a career, there's no such thing as wasted knowledge.

Another vote for keeping as many doors open as possible. As an 11 year old I liked math and science but mostly because they were super easy to be perfect in. Our English teachers would never give out 100% but in math they had to It wasn't until university when math finally got a little more complex and interesting that I started to see the true beauty of it. Even then it wasn't until I was into some engineering/physics classes that I could fully appreciate the power of it all. At the end of it my engineering job has no math in it on a daily basis but is perfect for brain teaser problem solving addicts who like to learn constantly. There are many STEM jobs that require math to get to the end but don't necessarily use it.