Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Do you pick extracurriculars?

Just curious how other families approach extracurricular activities. Do you choose or does your child?

My child picks - but then I'll remind him he's committed, if necessary. Also, his school has the policy that if you're picked for a team or a musical group, you do it, so certain things that would often be seen as extra-curricular end up not being optional.

our policy was going to be, "you must do one arts and one athletics + swimming because that's a life skill."

but for some unknown reason, DD5 picked dance on her own at 1 yr (though she couldn't start for over a year) and now she's dancing 4 days a week + swimming, so maybe that kind of worked out anyway, because dance is both athletics and arts?

and who knows, maybe the dance won't last, and i'll have to fall back on the "rule."

Both:-) Our DD is 6, so that factors into in. Right now she takes piano lessons and has for three years. While she REALLY wants to play the violin, we've told her that she needs to take piano for one more year because we own a piano, she needs to develop a habit for practicing daily and hopefully, she will be able to read music better, so that she can start the violin next year.
She also does children's choir at church and soccer in the fall. That is enough in my opinion. If she gets over scheduled it just means lots of meltdowns and rough nights! She really wants to take dance, but will hold off on that until this winter when we've found a studio that lets you join at any time & no recital!

It's a tough balance. Kids need to be kids, but finding that balance can be hard. Our DD needs days where she can just simply be at home playing.

Good luck!

School music is virtually mandatory. Swim lessons mandatory until I'm satisfied that they'd be OK if they fell off a boat.

Other things (social, physical) are encouraged; we started them as Scouts in first grade, and they've continued. We've been very lucky that our kids are liking the things we encouraged so far...

DeeDee

100% DS7's choice as long as his commitment surpasses the commitment he's asking for from us.

This was my parent's policy growing up, and I picked dance and piano as a child. I went through the entire swim program at the Y from mommy and me (which was called "Tadpoles" back then to "Flying Fish" (which I completed maybe around 10). We went to lessons 8-9 months of the year.

My DS is only 4. He takes a tumbling and trampolining class at a local gym which he loves and I just signed him up again for swim class. He has taken some group music classes, and I considered starting private lessons this fall, but I dont think he is ready. He loves the art classes at the museum so I will probably sign him up for those again.

DD chooses. Once we agree to something, she has to remain committed for whatever the appropriate duration is (some classes are paid in 3-month increments, full sports season, etc). She's free to change that out for a new activity once the commitment period has passed.

Here's a catalog of things she's tried so far... asterisk means it's still active:

Dance
Gymnastics
*Cheer and Tumble
Guitar
Soccer
*Drama
*Girl Scouts

Swim classes are something I see here frequently mentioned. We've got that covered at home.

DS 7 swims and does gymnastics. Both help with his strength and coordination for his writing issues. We insisted on the swimming, partially because there are aspects that he is good at which is good for him to have in a physical activity and also DeeDee's falling off a boat aspect. Gymnastics came about because we insisted he have another sport and we asked him which he liked best from camp and he chose gymnastics. He does both on the weekends because he absolutely refuses to do anything after school. We have allowed that because he has a long day, has homework and seems to really need the downtime to read and work his imagination. He has never been the go to the playground kind of kid.

Before school he did soccer and music nod all sorts of stuff, but now a t this age, I let him make the choice within the parameter that he needed to do a sport. He will get a musical instrument next year in school.

DeHe

I did at first because DD was a baby when she started - swimming (mandatory IMO) at a few months old, gymnastics too, and ballet at 3. Now at 6 she is a fantastic swimmer and loves her lessons, ditto gymnastics, but last year she decided to quit ballet in favour of girl guides. I was a little resistant, and she still misses the recitals, but overall I think it was a great call by her. Ballet was too repetitive and she just didn't need all that practice, and her GG den is awesome.
She has a big wishlist of more activities she wants to do - maybe a different type of dance, tap or hip hop, we looked at an art class but it didn't gel, sometimes she wants to learn a language, sometimes she wants to do netball or soccer, but her big wish is horseriding lessons, which we're going to let her start next year.
Generally we have a rule that we both have to agree, whether it's after-school activities, or what clothes she's wearing Not sure how long that rule will last!