Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School What would you do?

I do love the thoughtful and helpful advice. This really is a wonderful forum.

You are all making me braver about going to see her. She honestly seems nice and approachable. I guess it is because the kindergarten teacher wasn't particularly helpful or encouraging. She was concerned when I told her that DD was unhappy and when she learned that she is not normally very quiet and solitary but she didn't seem to excited to give her more appropriate work. Once she sent her home with an easy book -like a couple sentences per page x 5-7 pages and a blank page and asked for a book report. That didn't go well. DD was not excited about writing a bunch of sentences and then the teacher didn't like her work and never tried anything else. She was never assessed for a reading level and they never let her read anything but very beginner books. They didn't even let them choose from the entire library when they went every week. They had books set up for them to choose from. They did a brief assessment using some standardized testing 2x during the year. She made a couple stupid mistakes on some ridiculously easy stuff like counting boxes. They didn't test anything harder. She started off the year asking for me to ask the teacher to let her do more interesting and harder work but after a while she didn't ask anymore and seemed more or less content doing art all day at school.

Sigh. I know my DD is not average. She is clearly well above average. I think honestly I was/am probably MG when I look at things now and my DH somewhere in the gifted realm but held back by ADHD and other things. I think DD is more gifted than me but then I second guess myself. I thought the kindergarten teacher would see her abilities and do something but she did not. I kind of think she thinks that I am pushing DD. She asked me once "when does DD get to be a child?" Seriously?! DD is still very much a child and loves dress up and art and plays with horses and barbies. She is not pushed and in fact I often feel guilty that I do not have time to expose her to more since I am stuck working all the time. My DH does not seem to want to push things either. I think I need to meet with her for my peace of mind though and perhaps at least do basic testing so I am more confident about pushing things.

From personal experience, ds 6 just finished k. Get testing, then talk to the principal. Our meeting with the principal would have been a waste of time without the numbers to back us. (We live in a district where everyone thinks their child is gifted and/ or should be in gt program.) the principal took one look at the numbers and was very willing to listen and work with us. Also, the teacher made a complete 180. (I will say that we kept saying teacher tried, not enough. Teacher would try again, w/I a week, not enough. So, we said she tried and just focused on next year.)

Yes, testing was pricey. However, for us, we also learned ds has a eye teaming issue needing vision therapy (though he reads 4th level easily). We also were validated (as was my son) and gained a great resource who I know we are going to need to use again. Overall, it felt worth it to both me and my husband (dh didn't quite get it before- "he'll be fine" kind of thing).

Use your gut. You know your child better than anyone else. Btw, my ds just missed dys cut off (due to vision stuff. Was told if he retested would be atleast 10 pts higher after vt). With that in mind, the neuropsych who rested ds said if the principal doesn't want to accommodate ds, pull him from the school. So, I know you said numbers didn't help others. Well, maybe another school or school environment would help. No one wants their dc acting completely different/ unlike self at school. All kids deal with stress differently. Yet, at this young age, we need to help them by advocating.

Hope a couple of these thoughts help:)
Good luck and keep us posted!

Your story sounds similar to our DD. I agree with the previous posters. I'd call the principal and make an appointment. I would also encourage you to get her tested. Good luck!

Update.
Well, I did listen to everyone saying that I should meet with the principal right away but I also took seriously the comments about taking examples of advanced work or the reading level from kindergarten testing etc with me to the meeting. She was never testing for reading in kindergarten at all. I honestly don't know how any of the kids in her class learned to read as they seemed to do very little reading. The teacher told me at our parent conference at the end of Nov that she would be put with a group of 4 kids in the 2 paired kindergarten classes that were fluent readers and she would be given leveled reading on a weekly basis. This translated to about 4 times during the rest of the school year where she sat in a group of 4 kids and a teacher and they read very very easy reader books out loud together and then brought that book home to practice. My 2 year old could almost read those books! She wasn't even allowed to chose any book she wanted at the library when they went every week. The librarian just set books out that they could chose from. Anyway, my point is that I do not have any advanced work to show anyone as she wasn't given any at school and we don't school at home. We may research things or talk about some things at home as the opportunity arises but she is not a child who enjoys doing worksheets or writing things down. Add to that my uncertainty about how gifted she really is......I mean sure, I know she is pretty bright but perhaps after reading about gifted children I am just overestimating her abilities. I don't know. Silly most likely but I believe there are an awful lot of parents in this area that think there child is gifted whether or not they really are and I don't want to be blown off as one of those parents.

Bottom line...... she is doing the WISC tomorrow. I have not met with the principal yet. I am going to get the results and then decide what to do with them. Perhaps I am wrong and she is just high ability or regular gifted and then I can just relax a bit (or obsess over what went wrong on testing day) and see how school starts off. The private psychologist that is doing the testing told me she has worked with students at her school and mentioned that right now the principal is being challenged by having quite a few very bright kids in the second grade class and is working on plans for appropriate differentiation. That sounded promising. Too bad it isn't the 1st grade class.

I am a little nervous though. As soon as I confirmed the appointment yesterday she started to sneeze and has runny nose. I debated greatly about rescheduling but it seemed ideal to get it done before school starts and I am off this week. She didn't seem too sick today though still a little congested. I hope that wasn't a bad decision.