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    Joined: Dec 2012
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    I'm fairly matter of fact about reproduction but I don't think my six year old needs to know about abortion or rape.

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    I must be the absolute minority, because I don't feel that six is an appropriate age for my kids to be explained what rape, sex, murder, or abortion is. That's not something I would explain until at least 10 years old. (I have a few anecdotes as to why I feel that way. Incredibly sad ones.)

    I don't let my kids watch the news or any movies shows above a G rating. I've never had any questions other than, when I was pregnant, my eldest asking how I got a baby in my tummy. I didn't explain reproduction, just simply that "mummy and daddy wanted another baby, and we were lucky to get one." Or, he recently asked how his brother got out, to which I could honestly say the doctor took him out, since I had an emergency caesarean.

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    Originally Posted by master of none
    (I'll refrain here from relating how at the age of 8 my dd was introduced to genital mutilation by a GT teacher who was trying to prove my dd wasn't mature enough for a grade skip)

    That makes sense...because genital mutilation is *obviously* a central pillar of any good elementary curriculum. It follows so naturally from the genocide unit...

    Wow. How wildly unacceptable.


    What is to give light must endure burning.
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    KJP, I completely understand (and had a good chuckle at your example!)


    What is to give light must endure burning.
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    We do simple, honest answers. Really, I would rather give them baby sized bites of information than to lay it all on them when they are 12 which is what happened to me!

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    It's really hard to shelter them successfully once they learn to read. The problem is that HG kids are like sponges and they can acquire content that they have no framework for-- thus the questions. smile

    I realize that my approach above sounds rather dry, but it's actually rather like the one that aquinas lays out. The catch is that even many HG kids aren't ready (emotionally) for the answers when they ask those questions.

    It's very individual, unfortunately, and either way as parents we tend to guess wrong at least occasionally.

    KJP, that definitely made me giggle, too. I was so that kind of kid. blush


    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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    looking back at the notes, i think i'd answered about 98% of the Big Question by about age 2 - i really couldn't help it... the kid was extremely specific with her questions. i do remember tailoring the answers - i distinctly recall saying the body parts fit together like a puzzle. contraception/tubal ligation/vasectomy/feminine hygiene/same-sex parents came up quite early, too.

    we have kept her away from broadcast news (very hard for parents who are news junkies), but we do talk about current events as a family - politics/world events are never far from the conversation. the newspaper is always around, but she's not picking it up to read just yet so we haven't had to confront rape or FGM (wow, MoN - that's appalling.)

    here i will take a deep breath. as i type this, my heart still pounds and i'm so sorry if this upsets anyone - i truly apologize. the topic came out of the blue, was driven entirely by DD5, and yet it shocked me beyond anything she's ever said before. i am afraid of posting this, but as usual there is literally no one else to talk to - it pretty much feels like we're raising this kid on the moon.

    a few weeks ago, she "invented" abortion - she came up with the idea for a surgery that would remove an unplanned foetus. it was a propos of nothing - we were just hanging out, doing our own things and she literally just said it. she was so matter-of-fact, and i won't get into the details, but she basically described what might be considered a D&C with suction.

    she said she had been thinking about contraceptive failure and how that would be so scary for a woman, and she wanted to come up with a solution to make sure no one had to have babies they couldn't/wouldn't look after.

    the more i think about it, the more i see how it fits in with her personality - she is, at heart, a mechanic - a problem solver, par excellence. she limited the conversation to the mechanical aspects and simply asked me if i thought it would work? i told her that a surgery does exist as she described it and she was very pleased about it. as a kid i remember being thrilled when i "invented" something that was a real thing - it made me feel like i was really thinking things through properly.

    so i guess my philosophy, like nearly everyone else, is to just take it as it comes. i realized it was easy to limit exposure, but i couldn't stop the questions that surface naturally. i actively skipped over several chapters when we read Far From the Tree together - i really didn't mean to read that book to her, but she had questions about what i was reading... and when i answered them, she had more. she has a fail-safe, though, i think - she asks only about what she's ready to hear.

    i do reserve the right to simply say i'm not ready to answer a particular question - or that it's private - i would likely use that if it's a really personal question, but i've been lucky enough to be spared those... so far!

    Last edited by doubtfulguest; 07/26/13 06:54 AM. Reason: syntax errors

    Every Sunday it brooded and lay on the floor. Inconveniently close to the drawing-room door.
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    This is a topic of growing disagreement in my household. Up to now, DD8 has been given just enough information to satisfy some general curiosity, but any time her questions get too specific, we cut her off with, "You're not ready to learn that yet, we'll talk about it when you're older." Basically, anything that has to do with the mechanics of copulation, rape, diseases, etc., runs into this boundary. DD has learned to accept this response, since we have shared information with her at later dates on other topics, and gave her reasonable explanations about why she wasn't ready to learn it before, so she trusts our judgement.

    But I've always felt like whenever the timing was to begin "the talk," it needed to be when we could get in front of the problem. She's entering 4th grade, and I remember receiving sex ed in school in 5th... they may have moved it earlier. Also, girls are hitting puberty at earlier and earlier ages, and I feel like DD should know what's going on before she has her first menses, so I asked DW when she had hers.

    Nine!

    Okay, so by my count, it's time to start sharing information. DW is NOT convinced.

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    Doubtful guest, at four my son "invented" biological warfare. He went so far as to think of the advantages of keeping the infrastructure unharmed and of using a virus for which only he and his allies had been vaccinated.


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    Dude-- we found the American Girl book about puberty and physical development and grooming/hygiene to be very helpful.

    That way DD was in the driver's seat re: questions, and nobody was faced with a conversation that they didn't want to have or weren't ready for (including parents... blush ).





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