Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Measuring Ambition in Today's Youth

And the best predictor of future cash flow is past cash flow... Barring the rare high school millionaire entrepreneur, that means family money, n'est-ce pas?

Precisely.

Take a kid like my DD, who is... prosocial, conscientious, and wide-ranging in her tastes for various activities, and that is no longer ENOUGH to demonstrate that you're the authentic article.


Nope. Now you can't just "volunteer" for the food bank. You need to demonstrate that you've already DONE the things that used to be expected of pretty highly motivated college students or graduates working for the Peace Corps.

It's crazy-- and it's largely because kids CAN be pressured to look like my DD does naturally, which means that there is quite a real temptation to take that step to make her stand out again, by pushing just a little harder on HER.

She can out-perform TigerParented kids if we push her. But should we?

Should be as easy as sandblasting a soup cracker.

TigerKids are notoriously brittle and monomaniacal.

Just tell her to give at least 50% effort and it'll be easy.

(Note: I don't know whether Dogging is good for the TigerSchools - I've only seen it deployed for a full ride at a state school.)

Oh, dogging is the least of it. That one, we don't do because it "looks" any particular way to others, only because it's hard for her and she gets exactly what she puts into things back as a return on her investment. All her cognitive advantages are to no avail there, and its a slow grind with no real short-cuts to be had.

(Rare thing, that, with PG-let.)

The Honor Society membership/elected offices, community boards that she serves on, volunteer work that she does, music, etc, though...

it's really not that we "push" her to do those things-- or, for that matter, that we push her to do them at some level of participation with a glowing vita in mind, even. I might explain why some things "count" and others won't... but... it's always her decision what to do with herself.

I'm still trying to figure out how kids who look like rock stars on paper actually find a way to fit it all in legitimately. I've concluded that in many cases-- they can't possibly. Not without a Time-Turner or a TARDIS, anyway. The sheer number of hours required precludes either sleep OR school attendance. So I'm guessing that the reality is what I've observed to be true for the kids I've seen that have those "elite, leadership-ready" resumes...

Their parents sign them up for (or finagle placement into) all this stuff, and they show up for the parts that "count" (e.g. when the people in charge are noting who's participating) and then bail on the rest of the responsibility in order to make it to their second and third string bookings (which of course are booked for the same times, for efficiency's sake). You report that you participated, though, even when your attendance rate is more like 5-10%. It's not lying, exactly. And it is most certainly the only way to accumulate 300 hours of community service in a summer WHILE working full time as a lifeguard, while also being a paid camp counselor for some specialty camp for underprivileged children, while also participating in a mission to build a central American school in a remote village... WHILE completing your INTEL science entry. And taking a college class or two.



It's not actually a laughing matter, this. I do know a few kids like this, and I'm-- truly-- not kidding. They run and run and run like hamsters on a wheel, and their parents are constantly prodding them to fit MORE-MORE-MORE in.

Or, as in the more egregious examples I've witnessed, that you have sufficiently flexible ethics to, er-- obfuscate and rationalize why nominal participation, being present merely for roll call and photo-ops (or signing up rather than 'showing up') is fine and dandy as long as the "right" people are convinced of its authenticity, and to be convincing, sometimes being brazen about it is a good solution.


"Oh, John couldn't be here this week-- he's doing Very Important Public Appearances in the midwest today." (John will also be conspicuously absent for ad-hoc committee meetings, and about 50% of the OTHER regular meetings, too, and won't actually do anything but show up for meetings anyway.)

"Oh, Suzy can't attend on Wednesday evening sessions because she has Another Important Commitment at the same time." (Oh, sure... we knew about that when she volunteered. But we figured that once you actually got to know Princess Susan, you wouldn't mind rescheduling her hours. Or, you know-- just letting it slide these few times. Well, yes, all but the occasional Tu time slot, actually, but it's the thought that counts, right? Suzy really is devoted to helping out at the shelter.)

"Oh, Tim will have to leave early. That won't be a problem, though, right? It's Very Important that he be able to go and do Another Very Important Thing on time. Well, late-- but he didn't want to miss this Very Important Thing, either." (Of course, someone else will have to cover for Timmy in BOTH activities, and both agencies/organizations/events will have to shuffle everyone ELSE to accommodate Timmy, but that's fine. Right? The Important Thing is that Timmy can write both of them down on his resume.)

Don't get me started. I attended a private school with more than a few of these sorts. There was an annual 2-week March Break "humanitarian" trip to some exotic locale that had an itinerary that read like a politican's schedule. It usually involved several photo ops--bonus points if you were photographed with someone who matched the following description:

1. Missing teeth
2. Barefooted
3. Tribal
4. Crying
5. Physically deformed or visibly diseased

Then the girls would jet set to a 4* resort and hit the spa to "reward" themselves for all their "hard work". Upon their return, they were trumpeted as heroes for helping the downtrodden and sharing their (parents') resources.

Of course, my parents were scrimping and saving to enroll me in this school because its curriculum was quite good. In my interests, I was always the person actually leading the club or team and doing the legwork, so I just didn't include their names in my yearbook write-up, ha! I can't stand these bullshitters. Pardon my French.

Oh, I should also mention that our Head Girl was elected by the student body on the basis of these and similar "accomplishments". I recall her particularly edifying valedictory address (valedictorian was automatically Head Girl) on how her friend taught her to use a hair dryer in eleventh grade, complete with beauty pageant tears and eye fanning. It was more Oscar acceptance speech than Gettysburg, suffice it to say.


This.