Gifted Bulletin Board

Welcome to the Gifted Issues Discussion Forum.

We invite you to share your experiences and to post information about advocacy, research and other gifted education issues on this free public discussion forum.
CLICK HERE to Log In. Click here for the Board Rules.

Links


Learn about Davidson Academy Online - for profoundly gifted students living anywhere in the U.S. & Canada.

The Davidson Institute is a national nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted students through the following programs:

  • Fellows Scholarship
  • Young Scholars
  • Davidson Academy
  • THINK Summer Institute

  • Subscribe to the Davidson Institute's eNews-Update Newsletter >

    Free Gifted Resources & Guides >

    Who's Online Now
    0 members (), 210 guests, and 14 robots.
    Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
    Newest Members
    streble, DeliciousPizza, prominentdigitiz, parentologyco, Smartlady60
    11,413 Registered Users
    March
    S M T W T F S
    1 2
    3 4 5 6 7 8 9
    10 11 12 13 14 15 16
    17 18 19 20 21 22 23
    24 25 26 27 28 29 30
    31
    Previous Thread
    Next Thread
    Print Thread
    Page 3 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
    Joined: Jul 2011
    Posts: 2,007
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Jul 2011
    Posts: 2,007
    Originally Posted by Lori H.
    I think it is common for lawyers and people who work with social service agencies of any kind to become cynical and my husband did pick up that same cynicism. I don't want that for my son. He is already cynical enough.

    We need to think positive, even as we deal with all life's tornados.

    Dermatology.

    The world desperately needs high quality dermatologists.

    Joined: Feb 2011
    Posts: 5,181
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Feb 2011
    Posts: 5,181
    Originally Posted by Zen Scanner
    Originally Posted by HowlerKarma
    I'm also usually the "handler" for very difficult people. It's stressful and I don't like it, but I seem to be better at it than most people. I don't respond emotionally in general terms-- or at least I don't actually ACT on those responses precipitously.

    My DD is the same way.

    And thus it is a bad idea for people to equate EQ with introversion. Often it is quite the opposite. People can be exhausting for me partially because I can't not give 100% attention and focus to someone.


    Right-- and my DH, the extravert, has no trouble at all giving some percentage of his attention to others... and he has... er... squishys' self-confessed EQ. wink I have trouble handling multiple inputs when human input is put on the table, because I tend to be the 100% type.

    He's not a total clod (obviously) but he does struggle some because of being an extravert (and therefore dependent upon social interactions as personal fuel) but with difficulty concerning aspects of effective communication with others. He has the communication range of-- a lion. Other creatures confuse and distress him, and he doesn't respond well. blush

    He's somewhere in negative territory when it comes to actual empathy. I mean, it's not that he's callous-- far from it. He just can't actually identify what another person's motivations/feelings are behind their words, body language, or other behavioral expressions very well unless they are quite like himself.

    It has taken him over two decades to realize that as an introvert, I am not "depressed" or "withdrawn" just because I find a couple of nights of "social time" plenty each week. I can spend a week alone and not be 'starved' for human interaction.

    Of course, I'm also his major adviser when it comes to EQ problems, and have been for years. He can't always follow through with my advice very well, but I'm seldom wrong. Which burns him up in some ways, because he's the social one of us. LOL. I'm not social. I'm just a student of those who are. Jane Goodall of the humanoids.






    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 2,856
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 2,856
    I'm probably somewhere in the middle in EQ. On one hand, I'm the ambassador type, easily able to move amongst different social groups and be accepted without pretending to be someone I'm not. And like HK, I'm viewed as a confessor more often than makes me entirely comfortable.

    On the other hand, I'm known to broadcast emotional signals at a volume far out of proportion to the intensity at which I'm actually feeling them. Especially anger. That can be... problematic... particularly when you're an intense person to begin with.

    Then again, used carefully, being perceived as a homicidal maniac is sometimes a good way to cut through a whole mess of red tape. My DW, whose most forceful voice can barely be heard across the room, occasionally sics me on difficult people.

    Meanwhile, I've been teaching her how to be more assertive, she's been teaching me to be less reactive, so we've been pretty good for each other in EQ terms.

    Joined: May 2008
    Posts: 307
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: May 2008
    Posts: 307
    Hi Dude, Not sure I can play well on this topic, to many people see money as evil. I believe that if you have earned your money (Or been even given it, or won it) most people have placed the effort needed to earn it, and/or taken the risk needed to gain it that others have not. If I can afford to send my kids to an exclusive school, I should be able to. Many believe it is unfair that their kids cannot go. I disagree, it’s not about fairness. Their seems to be a belief that because others have its unfair to those that don't, I don't agree with that. You would think by my belief system, I am one who has, I don't. I have not been willing to pay the price in time or in risk to get in a better situation. Our son is currently not in the best fit school for him because I cannot afford to move into the area of the school. I do not see this as an issue of others having, and I deserve what they have. People who have taken the risks and sacrificed deserve what money can purchase. If you are referring to undue influence, arguing against human nature would be difficult, and who defines undue influence anyway?

    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 2,856
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 2,856
    Originally Posted by Edwin
    Hi Dude, Not sure I can play well on this topic, to many people see money as evil. I believe that if you have earned your money (Or been even given it, or won it) most people have placed the effort needed to earn it, and/or taken the risk needed to gain it that others have not. If I can afford to send my kids to an exclusive school, I should be able to. Many believe it is unfair that their kids cannot go. I disagree, it’s not about fairness. Their seems to be a belief that because others have its unfair to those that don't, I don't agree with that. You would think by my belief system, I am one who has, I don't. I have not been willing to pay the price in time or in risk to get in a better situation. Our son is currently not in the best fit school for him because I cannot afford to move into the area of the school. I do not see this as an issue of others having, and I deserve what they have. People who have taken the risks and sacrificed deserve what money can purchase. If you are referring to undue influence, arguing against human nature would be difficult, and who defines undue influence anyway?

    If it were true that wealth and hard work were related, then we'd see a lot of social mobility, because nobody is more motivated to work hard than someone who is poor. Yet statistically, we see the opposite: social mobility, particularly upward mobility, is reaching historic lows. We also see that childhood SES is a better predictor of future wealth than any other factor... including IQ.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17036544
    http://www.economist.com/node/15908469

    Think of it like running a 100-yard dash, where the contestants are all starting at different places. The ones starting at the back can never get ahead, no matter how hard they run. There are others who start so far up that they can finish by merely falling across the line. And everyone else is scattered in between.

    In this case, it's hard to point to the top finishers and say, "They earned it."

    Joined: Jul 2011
    Posts: 2,007
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Jul 2011
    Posts: 2,007
    Originally Posted by Edwin
    Hi Dude, Not sure I can play well on this topic, to many people see money as evil. I believe that if you have earned your money (Or been even given it, or won it) most people have placed the effort needed to earn it, and/or taken the risk needed to gain it that others have not.

    You do realize that the entire global financial system is currently completely off it's rocker, right?

    Joined: Jul 2011
    Posts: 2,007
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Jul 2011
    Posts: 2,007
    Originally Posted by Dude
    If it were true that wealth and hard work were related, then we'd see a lot of social mobility, because nobody is more motivated to work hard than someone who is poor.

    I'm thinking that you don't spend much time representing "the poor".



    Joined: May 2011
    Posts: 741
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: May 2011
    Posts: 741
    Originally Posted by JonLaw
    You do realize that the entire global financial system is currently completely off it's rocker, right?

    Ah...the question of the hour, JonLaw...

    Don't expect many, even here, to realize the lateness of said hour.

    Joined: Feb 2011
    Posts: 5,181
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Feb 2011
    Posts: 5,181
    Originally Posted by Ametrine
    Originally Posted by JonLaw
    You do realize that the entire global financial system is currently completely off it's rocker, right?

    Ah...the question of the hour, JonLaw...

    Don't expect many, even here, to realize the lateness of said hour.


    {shudders}

    My DH is a person who doesn't really understand the concept that Dude illustrates above. It is inherently unfair to the next generation when THIS generation exerts influence in jockeying for starting positions on the way to that finish line.

    Because it is human nature to give our offspring any advantage that we can leverage, however, there isn't really a way to level the starting line. Not really. Any attempt just results in a loophole that the already-advantaged seem to find a way to take increasingly revolting advantage of. I'm certainly AWARE of the advantages that we are providing to our DD, and I have no intention of halting those efforts just so that she is in the same poor starting position as others. whistle But I do feel badly for those kids, and I worry that we're throwing away a lot of raw talent that way.


    My DD, at 13, is already profoundly aware that she is starting at a very different place than many of her peers. It disquiets her-- because she knows that it begs the question of how much of her achievement is due to opportunities that she's been GIVEN (as opposed to "earned") and how much is merit which belongs to HER... and whether or not there is even a way to tease those things apart on some level.

    DH, on the other hand, still bristles at the notion that his "starting line" was vastly different than-- well, than mine, even. His parents actually told him "anywhere you get in and want to go-- we'll pay. No worries." They took him to visit multiple colleges, paid for test prep, etc.

    Sheesh-- I can't.even.imagine. I was so far from that place that I can't even put myself there. Rather than being worried about my next midterm, I was worried about my skanky roommate's probable substance abuse problems, and paying utilities by not ticking my boss off such that he'd stiff me for enough hours to earn the money.

    So yeah, he had SIGNIFICANT advantages-- advantages that mattered. When he says, indignantly, "I've earned EVERYTHING I have. Nobody ever GAVE me anything," I think-- sure they did. They gave you a full set of tools to make it so, and they showed you how to USE each one of those tools properly.

    Disadvantaged kids are picking them up at thrift stores and yard sales, and figuring out everything the hard way. It's only obvious how calipers or a socket wrench work once you've seen someone else use them.

    Which one of those people is going to be the more "successful" mechanic? Which of them has "earned" it more? Which one of them is more "talented?" Hard questions that relate to what meritocracy even means in light of human nature.






    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
    Joined: May 2013
    Posts: 11
    C
    Junior Member
    OP Offline
    Junior Member
    C
    Joined: May 2013
    Posts: 11
    I'm a genuine moderate and even test right in the middle of the extroversion/introversion dynamic.

    So I tend to feel in my gut that an introvert can "do" extroversion. . . probably more easily than an extrovert can act as an introvert.

    Context also counts for much.

    Page 3 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

    Moderated by  M-Moderator 

    Link Copied to Clipboard
    Recent Posts
    Testing with accommodations
    by aeh - 03/27/24 01:58 PM
    Quotations that resonate with gifted people
    by indigo - 03/27/24 12:38 PM
    New, and you'd think I'd have a clue...
    by astronomama - 03/24/24 06:01 AM
    For those interested in astronomy, eclipses...
    by indigo - 03/23/24 06:11 PM
    Son 2e, wide discrepancy between CogAT-Terranova
    by astronomama - 03/23/24 07:21 AM
    Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5