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Joined: Jul 2011
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Oh HowlerKarma... everything about your post (everything, everything) rings true.
We're behind in the timeline (my kids are younger) and they're not as gifted, and they're both still in public school, but as far as my DS and his learning needs not fitting... oh my.
I feel like we're at the edge of a cliff and mainstream society and the school district is getting ready to just SHOVE us over into an abyss. In a sense, it's worse when your father *is* the school system and has no idea what to do with you.
Last edited by JonLaw; 05/16/13 09:25 AM.
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One of our problems is that DH needs a change (from the toxic job) for the sake of his health and well being Not to use you as an example, but yeah, so, this is why my DH stays in his public sector job which does not pay well. Also, he doesn't want to advance (and earn more) because he would move up into a purely supervisory capacity where he wouldn't do much/any of the work he enjoys, so...We could move, and he might find something better, but WE HAVE A FULL DAY GIFTED PROGRAM that is working okay. I mean. We are not moving. He does get a hell of a lot of time off! This is quite nice for the family. (Note: his other benefits are pretty awful...so much for the "cushy public sector benefits" argument. But PTO--yes, it's good.)
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btw, Bostonian, I'm not concerned about my kids going to college with UMC, "regular rich" kids--like, moms is a doctor, dad is a lawyer-- but "richer than God" kids. You know what I mean. My kids will have no reference for that and it would be culturally shocking. I enjoyed spending time with "richer than God" people in law school. Both new rich and old international money. It was the regular rich kids in college who annoyed me. Go figure.
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Joined: Feb 2010
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It was the regular rich kids in college who annoyed me. People would hesitate to write in a public forum the same sentence about poor kids, even if it described their experience. They might not write, analogous to what someone wrote earlier, that a school with a "ton" of poor kids could have a "weird/toxic" environment or that their presence would be "culturally shocking". I don't understand what people are afraid of.
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When I first went to college, coming from a public school, I met many students who had attended elite boarding schools on the East Coast. They had all had calculus coming in; I had not. They all had had a ton of experience living away from home; I had not. They did not have to think about money; I did. Academically and in other ways, it was off-putting; they looked down on me for not having had all these experiences, because they assumed all people did.
It took me a while to find anyone who would not treat me as inferior for not having had the same kind of background.
That's not to be afraid of, but it is absolutely to be aware of.
DeeDee
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It was the regular rich kids in college who annoyed me. People would hesitate to write in a public forum the same sentence about poor kids, even if it described their experience. They might not write, analogous to what someone wrote earlier, that a school with a "ton" of poor kids could have a "weird/toxic" environment or that their presence would be "culturally shocking". I don't understand what people are afraid of. I bet Yeardley Love's family could answer that. (obviously not all rich kids are violent entitled athletes)
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Ultramarina's post illustrates that income taxes (and need-based financial aid is another income tax and wealth tax) discourage work. No, for reasons already expounded on, so I won't beat the dead horse. It does, however, illustrate how the distribution curves for wealth and IQ separate from each other at the very top ends. There are many other such stories on this site. FTW
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I don't understand what people are afraid of. I bet Yeardley Love's family could answer that. (obviously not all rich kids are violent entitled athletes) I have seen articles stating that varsity athletes are more likely to commit crimes, but is there any evidence that kids from rich families, controlling for athletic involvement, are more likely to do so? In any case, I don't think other posters are afraid that their children will be assaulted by rich kids. DeeDee's views are more plausible and likely more widely held.
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What Deedee said. True; I could have written more sensitively. Culturally different? Alienating? Bewildering? I think any young person is going to find it somewhat hard going when dropped into an environment with a high proportion of people whose life experiences are nothing like theirs. This can cut in all kinds of ways. However, when these people also have more power and wealth than you, I think it's harder. (Example B: I'm also a bit concerned about my DS5 going to school with quite a lot of very poor kids, come this fall. However, he has a lot of privilege by comparison, so the concerns are somewhat different, and lesser.)
In an extremely privileged environment like Yale, I'd feel concerned about my kids not being aware of certain unwritten rules, not having certain experiences that are typical for the wealthy, etc. I would add that if people are judging them by this they probably kind of suck anyway, but it may still matter to my children. I don't think my kids are likely to end up on the Ivy path anyway, but I don't know this for sure. They aren't lacking in ability or drive.
ETA: Am I worried that my kids will be assaulted by rich kids? Hmm. I suppose not really. I worry about d*ckhead date rapists with a privilege mentality, but you can meet those guys at State U.
Last edited by ultramarina; 05/16/13 10:51 AM.
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I don't understand what people are afraid of. I bet Yeardley Love's family could answer that. (obviously not all rich kids are violent entitled athletes) I have seen articles stating that varsity athletes are more likely to commit crimes, but is there any evidence that kids from rich families, controlling for athletic involvement, are more likely to do so? In any case, I don't think other posters are afraid that their children will be assaulted by rich kids. DeeDee's views are more plausible and likely more widely held. Yes, DeeDee's views are perfectly plausible. I have many friends who are rich. Like donating buildings to their alma maters rich. (Some also happened to be varsity college athletes). Clearly the situation in Steubenville demonstrates that kids of all socio-economic levels make dumb decisions and stand by and watch without doing what is right. So, no, I wouldn't send my kid to that environment fearful they would be assaulted. But I would certainly teach them to recognize spoiled entitled kids who had never experienced the consequences of their actions, who had no concept of money or work, and to avoid them at all costs. Sadly many of them don't grow out of it: http://www.golfdigest.com/golf-tour...-a-member-tournament-spirals-out-of.html
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