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    #156203 - 05/10/13 03:00 AM Re: The ultimate brag thread [Re: CFK]
    MumOfThree Offline

    Registered: 04/07/11
    Posts: 1654
    Loc: Australia
    Deacongirl and old dad - both such wonderful stories. Thanks for sharing.

    #156210 - 05/10/13 04:23 AM Re: The ultimate brag thread [Re: CFK]
    deacongirl Offline

    Registered: 07/03/10
    Posts: 948
    OD--I agree--I love the way you approached it and helped your son help himself. I could have benefitted from similar guidance in college.

    #156252 - 05/10/13 08:51 AM Re: The ultimate brag thread [Re: Old Dad]
    HowlerKarma Offline

    Registered: 02/05/11
    Posts: 5181
    Originally Posted By: Old Dad
    The most rewarding thing about the experience was seeing how proud and confident he was in himself after this semester. As a parent, there isn't anything better than seeing your child struggle, then overcome it because of their own discipline, persistence, and determination, that's what really builds self confidence.

    I just LOVE this anecdote. Way to go to your DS, of course-- but way to go to you, too! It's not always easy to let them solve their problems when the stakes are high.

    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

    #156518 - 05/13/13 08:56 AM Re: The ultimate brag thread [Re: HowlerKarma]
    Old Dad Offline

    Registered: 07/30/12
    Posts: 423
    What I've learned with both of my sons is to attempt to guide more and more rather than direct starting at about age 14, giving more and more choices but adding that they will either reap the reward or suffer the ramifications of their decisions. That seems to sink in deeper and deeper the more decisions they make. Now with one DS being 15 and the other 19, I find they come to us as parents SEEKING guidance and consultation rather than us directing and mandating.

    As my eldest son put it after his first semester in college, "The best part about college is the independence....the worst part about college is the independence."

    On the other hand, there is still plenty of boy left even in the 19 year old as evidenced by the Mother's Day card he game his mom in which he wrote,

    "Roses are name is not Dave....this poem makes no sense.....microwave."

    "Remember, there is no job in the world as important as making me food."

    He's got an interesting sense of humor

    #156522 - 05/13/13 09:05 AM Re: The ultimate brag thread [Re: CFK]
    JonLaw Offline

    Registered: 07/29/11
    Posts: 2007
    Loc: The Sub-Tropics
    Using the Old Dad approach also prevents College PTSD, from which I appear to continue to suffer, given my recurrent nightmares which have become extremely annoying at this point in my life, 15 years out of college.

    I basically went from complete mandates and imposed structure to zero assistance/guidance.

    #156528 - 05/13/13 09:24 AM Re: The ultimate brag thread [Re: CFK]
    HowlerKarma Offline

    Registered: 02/05/11
    Posts: 5181
    LOL, OldDad. I love your son's poem. It sounds like his sense of humor and my DD's are very close in style and substance.

    I sometimes get random Haiku, for example. VERY random. LOL.

    I also love the 'guiding' thing. I regard us as DD's "coaches" unless she's about to do something incredibly boneheaded that will have consequences that nobody can live with. Otherwise, we let her go right on attending the school of life experience. wink

    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

    #156534 - 05/13/13 09:34 AM Re: The ultimate brag thread [Re: CFK]

    That's great, Old Dad. I believe in natural consequences, too. It's a good way to create independent, critical thinkers smile

    #156541 - 05/13/13 09:45 AM Re: The ultimate brag thread [Re: CFK]
    Old Dad Offline

    Registered: 07/30/12
    Posts: 423
    It goes along with teaching children about calculated risk which I believe strongly in. I don't want to teach my kids to always take the safe path but rather to help them to evaluate when to risk what they have or would have had using a safe route. This is as you say, part of "Natural consequences"

    #156829 - 05/14/13 07:24 PM Re: The ultimate brag thread [Re: CFK]
    JJsMom Offline

    Registered: 02/25/09
    Posts: 921
    It's good to see this thread still here after all these years. I "left" when ds9 was 6 or 7. We were finally getting his needs met. Grade acceleration, Gifted program and clustering. Then we moved...

    But his new school does move them around for math and science based off ability, so that is good.

    Anyway, that's not my brag. My brag is my "normal" dd7 has successfully tested and completed her first year in the gifted program. I'm so proud.

    For this that remember me, Hi. For those that don't, keep fighting for your kiddos. It's great to have them actually thrive when they are placed in the right spot!

    #156925 - 05/15/13 02:01 PM Re: The ultimate brag thread [Re: CFK]
    doubtfulguest Offline

    Registered: 03/15/13
    Posts: 429
    well, i'm not sure if this belongs here, but it's totally making my day. my DD5 just finished writing a story inspired by the mysterious picture of a dapper lobster in a shop window. it is a cautionary tale.

    the story is called The Gentleman Lobster, Great Detective.

    synopsis: The Gentleman Lobster enjoys the finer things in life, including (but not limited to) detecting, great literature and fine dining. In the course of his enquiries into the whereabouts of a missing hula hoop and bottle of hair tonic, he is horrified to find out that, depending on the context, he himself might be considered "fine dining."
    Every Sunday it brooded and lay on the floor. Inconveniently close to the drawing-room door.

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