Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy how to work with teacher who is hostile to PG dx

In a nutshell: DS was labeled "average" since the beginning of the year by his teacher. We always knew that, at minimum, he was above average. When the teacher finally told us that DS was below average in reading last quarter, we decided to have DS tested. His results came back PG. before she got the results of his IQ test, she was always very sweet and accessible to us. She has since become hostile to us...every question is met with a sigh and a dismissal of our concerns. I don't know how to relate to her anymore. We have been supportive and patient parents all year...always helping out with supplies, field trips, etc. We do need information from her and some cooperation. How do I work with her? Also, how do I keep her from sabotaging DS application for a new gifted program in our county? She openly disagrees with factual data ex. she told us that "lots of kids are good guessers, that's why DS did so well on such and such". She still contends that he is "average" ability and requires no interventions.

Honestly, at this point in the year, is it really worth doing anything about?


The answer probably depends on the age of the child, his/her disposition, and how professional/flexible the teacher is in general otherwise. Is it actively harmful to leave things alone until the end of the year?

Given the hostility that you're encountering, I'd step back and ask if there is another way to frame your educational concerns, sidestepping the label that she is finding objectionable. I wonder why she has the opinion that she does? Perhaps she has direct experience with genuine push/helicopter parents?

Wow, I feel like I could have written your post word for word. We have had a similar problem with our 1st grader's teacher. She just doesn't 'see' it and doesn't speak positively about dd. This is even after the teacher tells us she can't engage dd, that she doesn't participate, speak up, etc...

One thing I've figured out is this teacher is very direct, forward, assertive, ADHD-ish, extroverted, and bossy. Couple that with dd's anxiety, especially when asked questions or has to perform, I can see how dd might not perform up to this teacher's standards. Dd is a very slow processor, she thinks things out before answering to be sure she is 100% correct no matter what is asked and she is extremely introverted. So I think their two different personalities clash.

I would not worry about her sabotaging your ds' application for a gifted program. The teacher may think that "lots of kids are good guessers".... but she can't *successfully* argue that a valid IQ test such as the WISC/WJ-III Test of Cognitive Abilitiies/SB/etc aren't valid tests or that they can be "guessed" into a high score. She also can't argue a professional's credentials aren't valid. We've been caught in similar situations where school staff tried to claim IQ/etc were meaningless and our ds was "in the middle" - and the very best tactic that worked for us in those situations was to simply state the facts calmly, over and over again until the school staff moved past the argument. The facts - understand your bell curve and be able to explain your ds' score relative to it, and know the credentials of the professional who administered the test. One of my favorite responses that was quick to shut down these types of arguments from teachers/etc was to reply "Are you telling me you disagree with the opinion of a well-respected licensed neuropsychologist?"

Fortunately, this school year is nearing completion (in the US)... so even if things never get better with this teacher, she will be out of your life soon.

Re the gifted program, it sounds like they are looking for more than one piece of data to determine eligiblity; I suspect that a qualifying WISC score from a reputable tester is going to trump one negative teacher's input. I also have seen patterns in teachers at our children's schools - a teacher who is telling you the things she's told you about your ds is also quite possibly saying the same things to other parents who are pursuing something more for their children... and she might not be making referrals to the gifted program at the same rate as another teacher who might really want to see a lot of her students get into the program.. and the people who are making admissions decisions for the program may discount her opinion simply based on past experiences with her recommendations.

The very worst thing that could happen re the gifted program is that your ds could be denied admission, and if that happens, you ask for the specifics of why, and you appeal.

Best wishes,

polarbear

MoN has a perspective similar to ours-- with some people, they WON'T hear it, and you can't make them. Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh.

(I know, childish, isn't it? But that is almost the level at which it can devolve to if you press onward in spite of the warning signs you're seeing.)

We dealt with a biology teacher like this my DD's freshman year in high school. Oooooooooo, was she ever bad news for HG+ DD and her GT classmates-- pedantic and rigid doesn't begin to get started in describing her classroom philosophy. She just wanted them to shut up and quit asking questions and talking to one another. There's no FUN in learning-- some nerve, those kids had...

She actually told a classmate of my DD's to "figure it out-- you're an honors student" re: an assignment that had no real guidelines and was an independent project worth 20% of their course grade.


As long as the hostility is directed toward parents, that's one thing-- I get my kid out-out-out of a situation where it becomes directed at her, though (which is what we did).

It's so depressing. I was thinking about trying to engage her in a discussion. Something along the lines of, "I get the sense that you don't see what we see and don't support the things that we are advocating for. Could we have talk about that?"

Or do you think that's just a dead end.

Do I complain to the very receptive and wonderful principal (who is totally on our side)? I just feel so powerless here

At this point in the year I would probably let it go. But does she have concrete input or power re your child's future? Does he need a recommendation from her? How does the process work? Here, the wheels do go into motion through teacher rec and then it's all straight test scores after that--no further teacher input. I believe you can also submit outside test scores if your tester has the proper qualifications.

There really are some teachers who dislike the concept of giftedness and seem to be hostile to bright kids and their parents. I've only skimmed proteacher a few times, but I've seen it. To be fair, some parents contribute to this.

I just keep trying to figure out how anyone can be qualified as a teacher if they believe that it's just "many kids are good guessers." How did they pass certification testing?

Maybe they were good guessers

Love that.