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I was just reminiscing the other day about how I spent time reading a comic book entitled "The History of Money" by the New York Federal Reserve when I was a kid.

Found it in my memento box along with some of my old silver bullion coins.

I almost sold those things when silver went parabolic a few months ago, but I figured that I should just keep them.

Good for you.

I think it's appropriate to have "everybody wins" games for small children--let's say, 5 and under. After that, it becomes ridiculous to have everyone always get a prize and nothing ever be skill-based or even luck-based, where someone wins and someone doesn't. I sometimes think all the competitive urge now gets channeled into the few places it's still allowed, such as sports, and that's why sports has gotten increasingly berserk. Kids need practice being graceful losers and graceful winners.

I guess I have a little anxiety. I had to argue with myself to let my kids sleep when I first had them. My kids are fine, I'm just talking about the kind of parental anxiety that makes you want to stay up all night when you have a new baby. (not that they don't wake you up enough). I had to tell myself, "I have to trust them with their own lives, and this is the first step. I have to trust them to stay alive by themselves tonight." Riduclous, right. At least I'm able to argue with myself.

Someone here didn't let their grown kid go away to college because they didn't trust her not to throw her life away for a boy if she got too far from home. She had to go to a local college. But, on the other hand you have more than one teenager here with several kids. There are probably a million creative ways to mess up your child, only a third of which come from their parents. All people are talented at creating their own unique set of problems.

I err on the side that the article supports, my kid feels very independant. Now I have the problem of convincing him he's not the one in charge of everything and everybody. For his age he's very capable and I've always given him a long leash. See above where I came to grips with the fact that my kids lives belong to them and I'm here to foster and develop their independance. I told myself from the beginning I have to start now keeping that goal in mind that soon I'll have to trust them with their own lives completely. Ironically, this makes me over involved in other ways because I'm constantly trying to teach them so they'll do better, because I know I'm giving them more and more control over their own lives younger than usual. I believe they'll take the wheel sooner than usual whether I prepare them the best I can or not, so that's the best guidance I can give them. You should see some poor people have a heart attack with my two year old on the big slide. I answer, "I was very scared every time she did that last year, but I'm getting better this year." Parenting fills u with intense emotions, more than usual.
HK & Lori, you already know this, but "forget them" and do what you need to do to raise your babies. I don't know if it helps to hear another person voice support for your decisions, but there it is.

I love that post. I find the whole parenting arms race totally asinine, because child-led parenting gives you the right answer most of the time.

Now, my in-laws are a case study in failure to launch. They're a family of children plagued by insecure attachment...intermittently ignored and henpecked. MIL is a classic Munchausen mother, though her helicoptering MO is more about facilitating her children's failure than securing success to fuel her own self-worth. She's all about downplaying children's abilities so she can be the "miracle teacher".

I think there is less new to these "trends" than many make there out to be. The grass is greener, eh? And these things tend to alternate generations. War heroes bred hippies who bred young Republicans who bred Gen Y video gamers who don't breed because they are living in their parents' basements covered in a fine dusting of Cheetos.

Perhaps schools opened their doors wider to parents because some anecdotal study suggested better students come with more engaged parents, but the only parents who came in the door were the ones already queued up outside.

But isn't that the point of the discussion Zenscan? I don't think there is a question that the herd follows the cultural thesis of the times. We are sticking our heads up from the herd and discussing how to get on a different path?

And in doing so, perhaps we will forget the next cultural thesis on raising kids. Maybe someone here will write the book and go on Oprah. Raising your kids to leave home after college. I bet that would be a best seller.

I meant to say forge the next cultural thesis. maybe my subconscious didn't

Sorry, I'm too busy scheduling "play dates".

You can also view it through a lens of credit expansion and contraction.

I'm not comfortable with the statement that we're all helicopter parents to some degree. To me that represents a false binary, where the only choices are between being excessively involved in your child's life, or being completely uninvolved. I see a continuum, with a healthy level of involvement somewhere in the middle... and all of us constantly trying to find that middle, and erring on one side or the other, depending on the situation.