Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Thinking about pulling out from school

We are here to raise our children, not BREAK them. I can't believe the school would suggest something that seems so damaging! There is no way I would take their advice and I would definitely speak my mind even if it meant you may have to pull him out eventually. Staying quiet and letting them treat him like that can do incredible damage.

Oh my gosh, my heart is breaking for your son. I'm so glad you realize the school is giving you damaging parenting advice. I hope you can pull him out of that school.

Epoh ,

exactly what i was thinking , what if something bad happened , if he was hurt , was being bullied or abused and if i had to follow what the school tells me to do . That would be so wrong for me as a parent .

Talked with DH we both agreed that how we parent DS is not the school's business , we're still going to talk with him , he can tell us what really happens at school , the good and the bad , everything .

Today he came home and he met his goal , he was happy , but he said he had to keep reminding himself that he has to be quiet , has to be quiet , don't talk , don't talk . Nowadays when you're all quiet , they think there is something wrong with you . And when you're a talker , they also think there is something wrong with you .

So , it is monday , and something new always happens at school .

But i have a question , can any of your children bring a toy to school ? I am not talking big toys , i am talking things like lego mini figure . Can they play with this kind of toys during recess and also during car rider line ??

Back when i went to school i was allowed to bring toys to play with during recess . Has things changed so much that kids nowadays cannot even bring a toy out during recess ?

i think it really varies by school, and sometimes by individual teacher.

my kid (5) is LIVID that her school prohibits toys from home, yet other families break the rule all the time with impunity... the school she'll join next year has a looser policy (by class, based on how the kids handle it) - i feel like that'll work better for her... although i'm sure we're probably in for a rousing chorus of "they ruined it for EVERYONE" at some point!

They are not allowed toys at recess or in class (unless specifically told for some project and the details are outlined in a letter home) at my child's elementary school. The school has something like 900 kids and they are not in the business of keeping track of who owns which lego mini figure and playing judge and jury over who stole what or who gave who what who now wants it back. Just 900 headaches waiting to be made daily. But some kids have IEP's with figets that are allowed inside the desk (those koosh balls for example) for sensory needs but they have strict rules about them.

That said. My son goes to before and after care. IF he keeps his toy in his back pack, on Fridays, they are allowed to bring a toy and play with it in the morning and in the afternoon extended day care. But he knows if he loses it or it is stolen or he plays with it during school, he loses his privilege and no one is going to do anything about finding or returning it to him. Mainly he takes in a beyBlade or sometimes a new toy to show off (like his Harry Potter wand).

My children were not allowed to bring toys to elementary school (or preschool). It never occurred to me to send them either! The kids spent recess either playing on the playground equipment, playing basketball or 4-square or hopscotch etc and in the winter they played in the snow. There was a lot of imaginary play and social stuff going on at recess.

This is one of those rules that I'm guessing is mostly in place because it would be a huge time sink for the adults responsible for watching the kids at recess to deal with if everyone was bringing their own small toys - and I'm ok with that. There's always time after school to play with toys.

polarbear

Our kids bring in mini-lego figures and trade them (like in the older days they used to trade baseball cards) but technically I think they are not allowed I think. Every one and a while the boys get into arguments about the trading and then they are warned not to bring the stuff in but otherwise there isn't a big deal made ... Right now they are tradiang pokeman cards, which aren't technically toys and so far the cards are allowed.

I guess even a pokemon cards isn't allowed in our school . Although DS said lots of kids bringing their cards and small toys to school . It's not that i am allowing him to bring toys to school , i always said it's not a good idea because it might get taken away if he took it out in inappropriate time . He promised me he took it out only during recess and car line rider . I thought it was okay during recess and car rider line .. i guess it wasn't because it got taken away by the teacher yesterday during car line rider .

Thanks for the replies .

There are often things that are specifically banned - trading cards usually because of the trading issues. I think toys are strongly discouraged at my son's school because of loss, theft etc. You can take them in to show but then put them in your bag. Having said that my son took his new hotwheels cars to school after his birthday and lost 2. He didn't get a lot of sympathy.

I would, however expect the child to told to put it away rather than having it confiscated unless it was actually during class time (or it was happening regularly).

We never took toys to school as kids.

Oh and if you are able to stay home with your son could you get a stress (too stressed to attend school)note from your doctor
and keep him home for the rest of the year. Explain to the school the the situation is resulting in stress behavoirs and symptoms and you would like to work with to ensure that next year is better.