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    #153653 - 04/16/13 08:24 PM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: 1frugalmom]
    syoblrig Offline

    Registered: 05/18/11
    Posts: 329
    I'm glad you and other parents said something. I would have, too.

    To me, this rule is just setting up kids to get in trouble. If there was a reason for them to need to be silent, I would understand, but there's not. Just as adults want time off from work during their lunch hour, kids should get time off, too. I get so annoyed by schools who have unreasonable rules for kids just because they're kids.

    #153655 - 04/16/13 09:46 PM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: syoblrig]
    SiaSL Offline

    Registered: 09/11/10
    Posts: 320
    Originally Posted By: syoblrig
    To me, this rule is just setting up kids to get in trouble.

    Yes, clearly.

    Originally Posted By: syoblrig
    If there was a reason for them to need to be silent, I would understand, but there's not.

    That, I don't completely agree with.

    1frugalmom, glad to see the school is softening its stance. It was probably an error of judgement brought out by the testing frenzy, hopefully it will go away sooner rather than later.

    #153656 - 04/16/13 10:08 PM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: Irena]
    SiaSL Offline

    Registered: 09/11/10
    Posts: 320
    Originally Posted By: Irena

    I hear you but, IMO, the vast majority of children eat when they are hungry... They do seem lose that ability when adults force them to eat and not eat at arbitrary times...

    In a group setting, which would include school, family and often work, those arbitrary times are unavoidable.

    As to the very American habit of grazing throughout the day...

    Do not get this Frenchwoman started on American eating habits. Ze soapbox, it is huge. Ze rant, it is long and very, very shrill wink

    Originally Posted By: Irena
    But, most children should be left alone and be the judge of whether their bodies need more or less food... My friends who are from Europe are shocked at the amount of 'force feeding' of children Americans do... and they are right, imo. All of them shake their heads and say "no wonder America has an obesity problem."

    We seem to completely agree on the principles, and completely disagree on the details?

    Close to mk13's experience, in elementary school we had a 2 hours lunch break meaning one hour sitting and eating (and talking while eating), one hour on the playground. In France lunch is the main meal of the day and it is taken very seriously.

    In the US my kids have basically 15 minutes to eat their lunch and any talking means that some food will go uneaten. Which would be fine if it went uneaten because the child is not hungry, but that hurried shuffle is an encouragement not to pay attention to what your body is telling you. That, to me, is force feeding, of the kids who do start eating. Meanwhile the talkers and the daydreamers won't have time to realize they are indeed hungry until after they are out of the lunch room.

    And to me the "let them ignore their hunger and catch up with snacks" approach is unacceptable. Also, snacks all the time, and food used as a reward mechanism in the classroom!

    I will spare you several pages on school lunches quality (or lack thereof), the "healthy-ization" of crappy processed food through the use of sawdust (wait, did I mean whole grain?) and "it is baked, not fried", and the general lack of respect for food in the American culture wink

    Where I come from, culturally:,9171,1969729,00.html
    Of course it would take a lot of work to re-train American kids (mine included, alas) to that standard...

    +1 everything Dude wrote, I have another long rant on restaurants and quantity vs. quality laugh. Clean your plate is also something taught where I come from, but restaurants serve reasonable portions there.

    Edited by SiaSL (04/19/13 10:52 AM)

    #153674 - 04/17/13 06:17 AM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: 1frugalmom]
    epoh Offline

    Registered: 10/31/11
    Posts: 954
    Loc: N. Texas
    I totally agree Sia, and science agrees with us both. It can take as long as 20minutes for your brain to register the "full" chemical signal your stomach sends out. These kids often only get 15minutes to eat! They are being trained to shove food into their mouth in rapid succession only to realize after leaving the lunchroom if it was too much or too little.

    I am very thankful both my kids schools have pretty lenient positions on healthy snacks during the day. My son often eats carrots at the beginning of last period to help get him through the end of the day.

    We also have basically no RULES in place at home during mealtimes (other than basic politeness). No required eating (we do encourage taking a "no thank you bite") no cleaning of your plate, etc. I make one meal, with a protein and usually 2 veggies, and maybe a carb... both kids eat a huge variety of veggies and neither are overweight. I am praying they keep up their healthy eating habits into their teen years and into adulthood!

    Edited by epoh (04/17/13 06:19 AM)

    #153687 - 04/17/13 06:43 AM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: 1frugalmom]
    Dude Offline

    Registered: 10/04/11
    Posts: 2856
    Our mealtime rules are pretty lax. DD8 can basically eat whatever she likes, so long as she's getting enough nutrition. She pushes her plate away at most meals.

    All we ask is:

    - If it's something new, TRY IT.
    - If you don't care for what mom has made, you can select anything within these boundaries: it's healthy, and it's quick to prepare.
    - Approval for any dessert is based on whether you've consumed enough nutritious food for the day, or whether you're saving all that room for junk.

    By the standards of her age group, she'd be considered overweight, but only because the standards don't consider body composition. She's active (lots of free play, soccer, gymnastics), and she packs on a lot of lean muscle.

    BMI is beyond useless, but that's what we still use today to track obesity rates.

    #153701 - 04/17/13 07:36 AM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: 1frugalmom]
    jaylivg Offline

    Registered: 10/06/11
    Posts: 116
    I am glad you and some other parents talked about it and glad the school somewhat is willing to work something with it .

    Ours don't change anything with their consequences a day later . Well 1 thing change , since i bring up the running laps would be better than sitting on the wall doing nothing for 30 minutes and losing recess . The school now is making DS runs if he talks during that 5 minutes silent lunch .

    I agree with what you said it is ridiculous for punishing these kids for the next 3 days no talking whatsoever . Don't these people talk at all during dinner time with their family ? Isn't this another way to learn to socialize ?

    I still think kids need to learn their responsibility , in this case , they need to learn to eat their lunch . Consequences if they missed their lunch due to talking = they will get hungry = tummy hurts and hopefully they will eventually learn . This is what i really don't get .. it's like kids with peanut allergy and the school banned peanut butter for it . Why don't we teach out kids that they should be responsible for it because it is their own body . We need to teach them how to handle it . Not stopping everyone else to bring peanut butter sandwich for lunch just because few children are allergic to it . It's the same with eating lunch , just because some children talk a lot and tend to forget to eat their lunch , doesn't mean they need to punish everyone else who talks and eats their lunch just fine . We can't always be there for our children , eventually they will need to learn how to tend for themselves and this is one of them . Some kids need to learn the hard way .

    My DS was always like that , he doesn't care for meals , why bother to eat if he can talk , he'd rather talk , talk and talk . I was worried when he started kindergarten what if he's not eating his lunch , and not to mention how slow he eats his meal too . 1 sandwich could take up to an hour . But i guess he learned on his own if he didn't eat his lunch he'd be hungry until 4 pm !!

    It is hard enough for DS to be quiet for that last 5 minute silent lunch i couldn't imagine being silent for the whole lunch time . Seriously ..

    #153704 - 04/17/13 07:47 AM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: 1frugalmom]
    jaylivg Offline

    Registered: 10/06/11
    Posts: 116
    Oh and speaking about clean your plate , growing up , my mom always told me to clean my plate or else my rice will cry ( i grew up in southeast asia ) . And so i learned to always finish my plate . But my mom wouldn't pile a ton of food in my plate to begin with . I learned to just have little food on my plate to start with and if i still wanted more then i could get more . So we were always taught to finish our plate . We don't waste food that easily because not everybody is lucky enough to have food everyday on their table . Appreciate what you have , and if you think you can't or don't like the food then we don't just pile a bunch of them , give it a try so that you don't waste your food .
    Most problem with the obesity in US , maybe they do overeat , but imo , it's most likely because of their choices of food , sugary drinks , processed food , junk food , those don't help to keep you in shape ! And if they do have problem being overweight well then get up and start working out . It needs to start from themselves , nobody else can make them wanting to be in shape if they don't want to .

    It is terrible seeing how much food in the US people are wasting , throwing food just for fun for games etc . Yet so many families just within our country are having problems to put food on their table . Ironic .

    #153708 - 04/17/13 08:05 AM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: 1frugalmom]
    syoblrig Offline

    Registered: 05/18/11
    Posts: 329
    Totally as an aside, did you read about the guy who was wrongly imprisoned for 20-25 years and was recently released? One of his biggest shocks (besides technology) was how big portion sizes have become in restaurants.

    #153956 - 04/19/13 06:58 AM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: 1frugalmom]
    1frugalmom Offline

    Registered: 11/02/12
    Posts: 312
    Loc: Central United States
    We are so, so, so proud of DD9!!!! She proved everyone wrong (including us - her doubtful yet loving and concerned parents). She stayed quiet the 2nd and 3rd days of this "silent lunch" and was even awarded for how well she did. Her teacher also acknowledged how well she has been doing in class and DD9 was just beaming!

    Now I just hope she didn't use all her energy concentrating on doing a good job at lunch time during these 3 days and not have anything left over for the state assessments. I'm not sure when school will give us that information, but I hope it is soon.

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