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Joined: May 2012
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First, he says "no more emailing, we talk in person" *specifically* in response to an email I sent inquiring about the para situation. I say "okay, I am fine with talking via email but I respect your desire to meet, let's meet" He says "let's have an iep meeting and we'll discuss your concerns and finalize IEP." I say "okay and btw, a advocate is coming with me" and then, today he says "oh I won't discuss certain things in the iep meeting." ???? and "I only want to deal with you or your husband" ??? I would just ignore him on this. He sounds like he is trying to intimidate you out of bringing an advocate so that he can pull the wool over your eyes if he feels like it at the meeting. I'm guessing your school district's SPED policy handbook will have a section that specifically addresses who can be present at an IEP meeting and that it will include parents being able to bring an advocate... so you could pull out a copy of the policy if you want to and bring it to the meeting along with your advocate  And I'm guessing your advocate will be able to help you find the notation in the policy quickly if it's there polarbear I did ignore him - I simply kept repeating "we'll talk about it all at the iep meeting" I said it over and over... He seemed really, really angry. I actually find him a little scary and that is saying a lot. Yes I am lawyer... it doesn't seem to help though 
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Actually I would be okay with this. I just want to know that it has been address, and what they are doing, i.e. was she talked to? (he does not have to tell me what was said) given additional training? or will she no longer be scribing for DS? As others have said, there are prickly legal issues with discussing internal personnel actions with the general public. In light of this, I would let go of all your other questions in the quote above, except the bolded, because when you get down to it, that's all you really care about. Sure, at this point you're boiling mad at the para, and want to see her punished, but that's a side issue that doesn't help your son get the services he requires. I'd drop it and focus on my son, and the results of whatever actions the school has taken, or propose to take.
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at this point you're boiling mad at the para, and want to see her punished, but that's a side issue that doesn't help your son get the services he requires. I'd drop it and focus on my son, and the results of whatever actions the school has taken, or propose to take. I hear ya. Actually I am not boiling mad (I'm just disappointed) ... I just want to make sure she and/or other paras know what the deal is with DS and know not to belittle him for getting the accommodations. I had the same problem last year with a para with horrible consequences, and now this again a milder version of the same problem ... I just want/need to find a way to stop this from happening every year - i.e, paras working with DS need to be educated properly and deal with DS respectfully and supportive.
Last edited by marytheres; 04/03/13 03:02 PM.
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ps - I would also, fwiw, send an email today back to the principal describing everything that was said in the conversation you had with him. Tell him he doesn't have to respond unless there is something you've misunderstood, you're just sending the email to summarize the conversation to be sure you were clear on what you heard. Yes. I would do this.
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I may be really unpopular with this advice, but I'd bring the advocate and I'd focus 100% on the positive. How much better things are now that the para isn't doing the scribing, how much happier your DS is. Can I see some of the work he is doing? What's happening with the enrichment work? Ask questions and pretend you trust the principal. Let the advocate be the one to say anything negative that needs to be said. Actually, this is great advice - not only because it is practical and positive but because it is true. DS is much happier and less irritable now that he is getting his scribing accommodations, now that he is permitted to do enrichment work in math instead of re-writing his numbers, and now that the offending para is not longer scribing for him. He is much better/happier and he is flying ahead in math. I think this really good advice, MON - it is a good strategy as it reinforces what they are doing that is RIGHT ... and it proves that I was right about what the problem was/is, i.e., DS has behavior problems (and anxiety) when DS is in a hostile learning environment - his environment was growing more and more toxic and he was becoming more and more irritable and unhappy. Now that that tide has been reversed he is flourishing again. It's true and it is much appreciated. The stress that *I* need to go through to get to everything that point is not appreciated but, hey, I guess I could look at the bright side - they sure are getting me thin for bathing suit season.
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Not fair marytheres - you get skinny for bathing suit season. I gain weight and break out from the stress of it all...
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Thank you Mater of None. Wonderful advice. I will approach the meeting with that spirit and I will find as many opportunities to thank them all for all that they did to turn things around. Everyone likes and excels when the positives are reinforced and praised - even adults and even principals. I really needed to hear what you posted and I really needed this perspective!
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Not fair marytheres - you get skinny for bathing suit season. I gain weight and break out from the stress of it all... LOL, Well I do break out form the stress if that is any consolation!
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I looked up your state education laws, Title 22, and section 16.32 says GIEP meetings include "other individuals at the discretion of either the parents or the district", so he can't keep your advocate out. (b) Each GIEP team must include persons who meet the following qualifications:
(1) One or both of the student’s parents.
(2) The student if the parents choose to have the student participate.
(3) A representative of the district, who will serve as the chairperson of the
GIEP team, who is knowledgeable about the availability of resources of the
district, and who is authorized by the district to commit those resources.
(4) One or more of the student’s current teachers.
(5) Other individuals at the discretion of either the parents or the district.
(6) A teacher of the gifted.
Last edited by Nautigal; 04/03/13 08:36 PM.
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