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Hi all - just a quick update (especially since it may help present and future lurkers having similar struggles)... Advocate coordinator said my communications to the school were very well written. In terms of the para situation, she said that I should, for this para and for future ones, ask for the para's qualifications and training... As that the present one (and in the future) get disability sensitivity training as the iep provides funding for that for teachers and teacher assistants or request that she be removed.

I haven't written the email yet but DS told me said para has been "most definitely and significantly 'nicer'" within the past two days. So, I am going to word my email softly but I am still sending something asking if said para has been talked to, what findings and what decision were made, and suggesting that perhaps the school should consider using the funding that it receives under my sons IEP for teacher and paraprofessional training to get said para some disability sensitivity training. The advocate said I can most certainly have her removed ... However, since DS reports she has been nicer I will not push for this.

Oh and in the future I should request to see the qualifications and training of all paras who will work with DS, I can request to have them trained in disability training, in writing disabilities and/or in hypotonia. I can request to have them present at the iep meetings as well. I think I need to start doing that b/c so far the insensitive uneducated paras have really caused a lot of problems.

Wow, that's great to discover! I wonder if that's a federal IEP thing, or state or local district?

Epoch, on the website it states this, "PEN receives funding as a Parent Training and Information Center (PTI) from the US Department of Education and the Pennsylvania Department of Education-PA State Personnel Development Grant (SPDG)."


So apparently, both!

So I sent an email to the principal, cc'ing the IEP team, asking for the results of the meeting with the Para who had said inappropriate things to my DS in attempt to discourage him from having her scribe for him. I also took the opportunity to memorialize our "cordial" discussion regarding DS's IEP scribing accommodations as well as to remind the IEP team that "DS's strength and endurance is not to be remediated during class time." "And that the scribing accommodations are necessary to minimize the impact of the disability of congenital hypotonia and joint hypermobility and to allow DS to access his education." The email referenced emails by teacher and statements made in the IEP meeting by both teacher and spec ed support teacher that indicate that the scribing accommodations have not being provided consistently since December (writings and statements that show they have been waiting for signs of fatigue before providing scribing etc.) and that that is a violation of the iep. I added "Therefore, if the scribing accommodations are not provided consistently and without retaliatory behavior and comments, we would have to exercise our procedural safeguards, unfortunately. We really and truly do not want that to happen."

The advocate person at PEN proofread it and it contained two full paragraphs of "thank yous" and statements of appreciation...

The principal emailed back saying let's all have another iep meeting again. I think one reason is that he doesn't want to put the results of or discuss meeting with the para in writing. I think it may be a good thing to meet again but honestly at the meetings I feel steam-rolled and I don't like them very much. I also am suspicious of the principal's statement that, "I think it would serve everyone better if we were to hold such discussions in an IEP meeting rather than through e-mail" I wonder if he is trying to avoid a paper trail.

So, I am thinking I will go to the meeting and try really hard not to get ruffled and not to get hurt/offended and just keep repeating "DS needs the accommodation to be provided consistently and without retaliatory behavior and comments in order to access his education" and that "DS's strength and endurance are not to be remediated during class time rather we do that at OT time and with neurologists." I am thinking maybe I had better record this meeting as well.

Thoughts? Feeling rather depressed about this... I really do not understand. The accommodation has been accepted and put iin the IEP - why are they still arguing with me about it?

Maybe I am being too negative ... maybe he is calling the meeting to have everyone say "the right things"... Is that a possibility?

I wish the principal would answer you by email just as you hoped . I can see why you don't want another IEP meeting. I can't think on the spot that well when I'm at those meetings where I feel like everyone is against me. Then I get home and all those things I wanted / needed to talk about finally come to me and it's too late. But as long as they are still trying to work things out, I'd go to the meeting and try to keep your cool.

I don't think you need to ask if you can bring someone else. And it doesn't need to be a neutral third party. I think it would be great if it's someone in a suit who takes notes, and just introduce them by name and say he/she will be helping you take notes.

I agree the principal is trying to avoid putting your conversation in writing. But unless you have a reason to think he or she is underhanded, I wouldn't automatically assume that. It sounds like he took care of the para problem, for instance.

I think it sounds like you're wonderfully prepared and have logical, legal arguments to back your requests. Good luck to you!

I'm not clear why this merits another meeting. You were just following up on an action item from a previous IEP meeting. Maybe you could agree to meet if the principal thinks that there are issues for the team and then politely ask what issues he thinks still need to be addressed in the context of an IEP meeting so you can be prepared?

He wrote: "The team will gladly address further your concerns related to DS's IEP. Having been involved in or copied on prior e-mails related to DS's IEP document and/or the implementation of his IEP, I think it would serve everyone better if we were to hold such discussions in an IEP meeting rather than through e-mail. I believe it would be more effective in achieving a common understanding."

However, my email to him was not really "concern" - it was a reminder to them and to him as to what they are suppose to do ... The IEP accommodation is "provide a scribe for multiple written assessments and assignments." I basically said in my email, paraphrasing for simplicity: "Okay make sure you guys do what you are suppose to do, i.e, provide the scribe so he can access his education because it looks to mye by your statements and emails that you are not doing that consistently and that is unacceptable." And, 'remember, don't hold off until he is tired and don't try to push him to increase his stamina (as you have been saying that you do) b/c that is the OT and neurologist's job. Your job is to teach and provide him a scribe so he can learn.' And finally, 'if you can't do that and you can't provide a scribe who will be nice then we will need to file a complaint. so please do not put us in that position.'

I also asked how the meeting with the para went and maybe they should consider sending her to disability sensitivity training b/c I know they get money for that under my son's iep.

I said all of this SUPER NICELY and I mean I was just lovely

I am tempted to be like "no I don't have any concerns I think my email pretty much says it all perfectly but thanks anyway.' And my really angry side felt like saying "oh and by the way you can't tell me I am not permitted to communicate with you to document violations and our agreements!

I agree ... I do have a lawyer in mind that I have met who specializes this work. I am seriously considering bringing him (but I would have to pay him). It seems annoying though as I am a lawyer and they know that, I have the law on my side and I have showed that I know the law and I know it's on my side and they are still pulling this crap. I know the guy I would bring would shut them down nicely, this is his specialty but it would suck to have pay a bunch of money for something I should be able to do myself! They are simply not fazed by me at all!

THis is an idea. I could say something like this to him. I mean, seriously, how does the team not understand "provide a scribe for multiple written sentences." They are making it so much harder than necessary - it is not in need of this much interpretation... just scribe for the kid, period - you don't have to worry about his stamina or his fatigue or anything. I am on that we have medical people and therapist galore doing that ... you just do your job, ie, teach and provide a scribe. Sheesh! I think he really doesn't like that I am documenting in writing that the IEP is being violated (I also think he got upset when the teacher response to me substantiated clearly that she is not following the iep consistently.

I am thinking of saying something like "oh how kind of you, Mr. Principal, but I do not think that will be necessary at this time. I do believe I memorialized the "common understanding" quite clearly in my email, it really isn't that complicated. Quite simply, the scribing accommodations are necessary to minimize the impact of the disability of congenital hypotonia and joint hypermobility and allow DS to access his education. But how lovely of you to offer since I know how busy everyone is[..blah, blah, blah...] I do look forward to hearing about your meeting with Mrs. Paraprofessional, however. Please let me know how it went. Ds reported to me that she has been much more supportive this week so it seems that your talk with her was productive?"

SO I forwarded the email form the principal to the coordinator at Parent Education Network and she said if she would come with me... She just cant come at 8am so I need to get them to do it at another time. That is very hard to do as they always insist that we do it at 8a but I think this time I am going to insist that we do at at another time so that she can join me. I should tell them I will have her with me, right?

You make yourself and your DS's needs very clear in your emails and I wouldn't stop addressing concerns and reminders in emails simply because you're asked not to. You have every right. You're doing a great job. I like the idea of having someone with you to take notes during the meeting. And perhaps give yourself a "script" to go in with and try not to let them veer you from it. What you're asking for is not unreasonable and it's their responsibility to provide it.
Please let us know how it went...

My understanding is that you'll need to tell them if you bring a lawyer because they'll have to have their own there as well. But you aren't required to tell them you're bringing anyone else.

In my first few meetings with our school about my son's dyslexia and 504, I told them I was bringing a dyslexia expert (either the head of the dyslexia tutoring company we used, or my son's dyslexia tutor, who was a former special ed teacher herself), and I think that prompted them to bring in their own district expert. I do believe it resulted in a great 504 because the school wanted to prove that they were doing everything they could. (Which wasn't much, since he didn't qualify for an IEP.)

In your case, I would let them know-- I think it would send the message that you're serious. But I wouldn't give them a lot of details. I think you might just tell them that you're bringing an advocate or expert and that she can't come at 8 a.m., and the suggest some times that do work.

Yes, if it's a lawyer - most of the lawyers that I have talked to in this field have said they like the school district to have their lawyer there as well if they are going. They have said it usually makes things go smoother - often the school district lawyer knows the parent's lawyer professionally and both know what's what and makes things go above-board better.

This women is an educational advocate ... Though it looks like she has worked for a law firm in her past doing this kind of work I don't think she is a barred attorney. Nonetheless I told them she is coming. I wrote this:

"How very kind of you to offer to take time out of your busy schedule to have yet another IEP meeting. I personally do not feel that another meeting is necessary at this time as I feel very comfortable that my last email correspondence memorialized, quite clearly and succinctly, our common understanding with regard to the implementation of the writing accommodations. Of course, if there are still some issues about which the IEP team is unclear, I would be happy to meet again. It would be very helpful to know ahead of time about what issues the team is unclear, so that I can prepare - perhaps bring some educational materials if someone does not understand congenital hypotonia and hypermobility, etc. I personally am only unclear on what the results of your meeting with Mrs. Paraprofessional were and how the "baseline" for the anxiety goal is to be determined. I am more than happy to hear about those two issues via email correspondence or telephone.

Unfortunately, an 8:00am meeting is not possible for us due to work, childcare and school issues with both DS and our younger child. Also, I will be bringing an educational advocate with me and that person also can not make an 8:00am meeting. Could you please send two or three dates that the team would be available for a 10:00am or 10:30am meeting? Thank you so very much."

Seriously. I can't believe he doesn't want to communicate by email anymore ... It's like who doesn't communicate by email in this day and age? I guess I can always mail actual letters LOL. But I am not going to stop putting things "in writing". I really think he is concerned because the teacher's own emails are a bit incriminating in that she basically admits to not following the IEP properly so he probably doesn't want any of them putting anything in writing to me anymore.

Love your email! I think it might make him rethink the meeting! But I'll bet you get a phone call after this.

Honestly, I owe it all to the advice and support/encouragement I get here. Thank you guys. You all really give me a lot to think about and even 'ways of wording things' ykwim? You all are so wonderful. I hope just by posting all this here helps others... this is an unnerving world - this world of ieps and school districts fighting accommodations...

OO--OO!! Pick me! I know this one.

People who don't want to communicate with you in writing are responding that way because they are (oh, what's the polite term here? "weasel" seems SO harsh...) um...

mostly interested in protecting portions of their own anatomy from potential harm?

In all seriousness, the people who LEAST WANT to communicate with me in writing are mostly the people with whom it proves to be MOST essential to do so in a fairly scrupulous manner. :ahem:

HK is exactly write about his motivation. This is why the letter strategy is effective, even if he doesn't put anything in writing, if you ever end up before a judge you will have all of your letters/e-mails documenting what was said. I think Pete Wright really knows what he is talking about and he pretty strongly encouraged parents to avoid bringing a lawyer until absolutely necessary. I would start with the advocate.

I have to start bringing someone - someone supportive. I love my husband but he gets too caught up in and excited by when they start showing how "well" Ds is doing. They sort of exploit that emotion that you want signs that your child is "cured" or "fixed" DH tends to eat it up. I know better, plus I spend a lot more time with DS particularly with school and learning tasks so I see the discrepancy.

I absolutely think it makes sense to bring someone. I know people have brought their clergy person. But just having someone else on your side of the table helps.

MARYTHERES,
does your son get any type of inhome therapy?
i ask simply b/c my DS does, and i have had that lead therapist (a trained professional who has been working with DS 1+yrs),actually attend an IEP mtg, as well as come with me very recently to a weekly teacher mtg, & observe the teacher/atmosphere etc, and it was smartest thing i did!

(DS is independent study thru district, we mt just 1x/wk w/ assigned teacher at a satellite schl.)

i was thinking perhaps you could have such a person attend future mtgs also? and it hasn't cost me any $$ as they therapist was able to go to the iep etc, and just not do the therapy hrs for that wk, however it worked out. what better person to have on your side than person who works with your kiddo