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    Irena Offline OP
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    Originally Posted by HowlerKarma
    Quote
    Was I wrong to say anything? I am really getting the impression that people - teachers and paras, etc. REALLY DO NOT LIKE that DS gets a scribe! I am also getting the impression that really do not like me.

    No, you weren't wrong to say something.

    Your son is experiencing a hostile learning environment.

    That's the phrase that pays here, btw.

    I think, though, that your approach is perhaps in need of a tweak, advocacy-wise. Be clear and VERY precise in your wording with this kind of thing. Study the examples of "letters of understanding" at Wrightslaw-- and practice writing one of those for this incident.

    a) my son has informed me that {X, Y, and Z}.

    b) MY understanding is that {A, B, and C},

    and
    c) Please correct me if DS or I have misunderstood anything in this account. If I do not hear from you by {reasonable amount of time}, I will assume that this narrative is both complete and accurate. Thanks so much for your help.


    Because the bottom line is that you do not know that what your DS said is both completely accurate and exactly what happened... you just SUSPECT (probably with good reason) that it is.

    You have to give the appearance of impartiality-- or at least objectivity-- as a show of good faith. But communicating things like this in writing also tells them that you've had enough of this nonsense and you're going to put their feet to the fire as of RIGHT NOW.

    They are behaving in a retaliatory fashion. Let them know that such a thing-- you know, IF such an unfortunate thing were ever to :cough-cough: take place-- would be illegal, and grounds for a complaint with OCR. How unfortunate if this "misunderstanding" were to escalate.

    Howler, Your point about the letter writing is very good. Thank you. I looked up letters of understanding on Wrightslaw and found this: http://www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/articles/DRAFT_Letters.html Good sample letters - good standard niceties with which to start and end even though you are really registering a complaint, greivance,etc. (even though and when the school doesn't derserve it). I looked over all my old emails and I think mine are still fine. However, I am getting a little too close the "irrate, difficult parent" so once the principal contacts me regarding the resolution of the para comments situation... I will be certain to respond in a pleasant, grateful way that still documents

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    marytheres, when we were at a similar place with our school and advocacy challenges, I found it was really helpful to be able to ask for feedback from a local parent advocate before I wrote or talked to the school staff. There are advocate groups in several states (at least - I think there is federal $ to fund this type of group available to every state) - I found our local group through the yellow pages link at wrightslaw. Our advocate was very helpful in both helping me understand local school politics as well as being able to give me specific words to use to make my written requests effective.

    polarbear

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    Irena Offline OP
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    Originally Posted by polarbear
    marytheres, when we were at a similar place with our school and advocacy challenges, I found it was really helpful to be able to ask for feedback from a local parent advocate before I wrote or talked to the school staff. There are advocate groups in several states (at least - I think there is federal $ to fund this type of group available to every state) - I found our local group through the yellow pages link at wrightslaw. Our advocate was very helpful in both helping me understand local school politics as well as being able to give me specific words to use to make my written requests effective.

    polarbear

    Thanks Polarbear, do they cost money? Or do you just call them up or what?

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    marytheres, the group in our area provides their services for free - they are funded by Federal Grant $. I have read online about people hiring advocates, and I think that when you have to hire an advocate it has the potential to be expensive.

    What I did was look at the yellow pages link on the homepage at wrightslaw.org, it's organized by state, and I found the group there and I called them and asked the questions I had. They also have a website that has a lot of info about their services and who to contact. In our area the person you ask these types of questions to is called a "parent navigator", and even though the group's office is located in my city, they employee parent navigators that cover other areas of our state.

    The advocate service truly, truly was THE one thing that was most helpful to me (other than having the neuropsych report) when advocating. I benefited so much and learned so much researching online and talking to local private professionals re specific challenges that ds had, but when it came to advocating at school, having the ability to talk to an advocate who understood the law and who'd worked with other families dealing with similar issues at the very same schools was extremely helpful.

    There were other groups I found through wrightslaw that have been helpful also - one is an AT support group that deals primarily with adults who don't have access to AT through school services, but they were very generous in helping us out with advice even though our ds is in school (much more generous and helpful than the school district's AT folks lol), and there is a disability law group which helped with a bit of advice when we hit the proverbial brick wall with our school. So it's worth a quick look just to see what's listed for your area!

    polarbear

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    Irena Offline OP
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    Is this the type of place you are talking about: http://www.parentednet.org/our-staff ?

    They appear to be free. Perhaps, I will try to contact the contact for my county on Monday.

    It would be nice to have some help...

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    Yes! That's exactly the type of place I'm talking about smile

    I hope they are helpful!

    pb

    Last edited by polarbear; 03/16/13 09:41 PM.
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    Irena Offline OP
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    Thanks! I wrote the entire sorted tale to Parent Support Coordinator for my area. It was a good practice to just write the entire timeline/chronology of incidents down even though it took hours. I asked for her advice and help in drafting some sort of communication to the school conveying the message that I will not let them continually violate the IEP (and documenting how the iep has been violated quite consistently for the past several months) but do this in a way where I am sure to look polite, respectful and rational. I told her I feel I am coming dangerously close to being “difficult irate parent” and we both know that will not help my son but I need the school to understand that my son must be given his scribing accommodations consistently and respectfully.

    Fingers crossed she can help me!



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    I think that you're taking a really positive step. Sometimes just an external perspective/observer can really be helpful. smile I hope that you can get it sorted quickly so that your son can access his accommodation!!


    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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    I hope they get on board!

    I sometimes wish I faced actual hostility instead of what I currently have to deal with - everyone just seeming SO HAPPY AND HELPFUL AND OH YES WE LOVE YOUR DS AND WANT TO HELP HIM, BLAH BLAH BLAH, and then N O T H I N G actually happens. Drives me f-ing bonkers!

    Last edited by epoh; 03/18/13 06:23 AM.

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