Gifted Bulletin Board

Welcome to the Gifted Issues Discussion Forum.

We invite you to share your experiences and to post information about advocacy, research and other gifted education issues on this free public discussion forum.
CLICK HERE to Log In. Click here for the Board Rules.

Links
DITD Logo

Learn about the Davidson Academy’s online campus for profoundly gifted students living anywhere in the U.S.

The Davidson Institute for Talent Development is a national nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted students through the following programs:

  • Davidson Fellows Scholarship
  • Davidson Young Scholars
  • Davidson Academy
  • THINK Summer Institute
  • DITD FaceBook   DITD Twitter   DITD YouTube
    The Davidson Institute is on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube!

    How gifted-friendly is
    your state?

    Subscribe to the Davidson Institute's eNews-Update

    Who's Online
    0 registered (), 0 Guests and 160 Spiders online.
    Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
    Newest Members
    Clara Tim, markhogue, John Henderson, wm97, oliviazimmerman
    10844 Registered Users
    October
    Su M Tu W Th F Sa
    1 2 3
    4 5 6 7 8 9 10
    11 12 13 14 15 16 17
    18 19 20 21 22 23 24
    25 26 27 28 29 30 31
    Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >
    Topic Options
    #145543 - 01/06/13 06:26 AM Re: Is it perfectionism?? [Re: HowlerKarma]
    CCN Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/25/12
    Posts: 978
    Loc: BC, Canada
    Originally Posted By: HowlerKarma

    My husband finally was able to see that yes, in fact, I just MIGHT be a perfectionist with some serious OCD issues if this went unchecked.



    LOL I've been accused of having OCD once or twice wink I don't think I meet the diagnostic criteria for it... it's more like I'm right beside it.

    I was worried about my DD, though. My dr dismissed the idea, saying "we all have a touch of OCD." DD has made tremendous strides and I dismissed the idea, until I found out (in my TA program night school) that an estimated 80% of childhood OCD is outgrown. Now I'm certain she had it. (They tell you that things like ADHD & ASD are life long, but apparently OCD in childhood can be outgrown, depending on how the brain develops.)

    In fact, when she was about six, I remember reading an article about gifted kids with OCD that was so much like her, it made me cry. I made a copy and carried it around in my purse, working up the courage to give it to her grade 2 teacher (I was worried I'd be dismissed as being paranoid). I needn't have worried because it was that teacher who came to me about the severity of DD's perfectionism (and in doing so, opened my eyes to my own). I've learned a lot about myself because of my kids smile



    Edited by CCN (01/06/13 06:40 AM)

    Top
    #145544 - 01/06/13 06:44 AM Re: Is it perfectionism?? [Re: HowlerKarma]
    CCN Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/25/12
    Posts: 978
    Loc: BC, Canada
    Originally Posted By: HowlerKarma
    Even flour, for a while.



    Btw, how do you make flour from scratch? (Impressive!). I made bread for awhile, but never flour...

    Top
    #145549 - 01/06/13 07:54 AM Re: Is it perfectionism?? [Re: CCN]
    JonLaw Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/29/11
    Posts: 2007
    Loc: The Sub-Tropics
    Originally Posted By: CCN
    LOL I've been accused of having OCD once or twice wink I don't think I meet the diagnostic criteria for it... it's more like I'm right beside it.


    Real OCD is just annoying to be around because it's a permanent loop and gets old. Like nails on a chalkboard.

    However, it's my favorite psychological disorder because I can just tune it out in other people.

    It's like an infinite loop.

    Top
    #145553 - 01/06/13 09:51 AM Re: Is it perfectionism?? [Re: CCN]
    ElizabethN Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/17/12
    Posts: 1390
    Loc: Seattle area
    Originally Posted By: CCN
    Btw, how do you make flour from scratch? (Impressive!). I made bread for awhile, but never flour...

    My mother used to do this when I was young and we were dirt poor (my father supported a family of four on a Ph.D. stipend). She would buy chicken feed and grind it into flour with an attachment on her mixer.

    Top
    #145554 - 01/06/13 10:13 AM Re: Is it perfectionism?? [Re: CCN]
    petunia Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/17/11
    Posts: 146
    Originally Posted By: CCN




    Petunia how challenged is your son at school? Is he accelerated?




    Thanks for the examples and thoughts.

    He's grade-skipped a year. He has a late July birthday, so some folks consider him skipped two years due to the propensity here to red-shirt (start K at age 6, our cutoff is Sept1). He's in all GT classes and seems to enjoy school. He's in 7th grade and they do the equivalent of 9th grade Algebra. He says he's challenged but I'm not so sure. It's another thing I don't know what to do about. And, this morning, we've had another meltdown so I just feel like a very bad parent.
    _________________________
    What I am is good enough, if I would only be it openly. ~Carl Rogers

    Top
    #145555 - 01/06/13 10:39 AM Re: Is it perfectionism?? [Re: ElizabethN]
    ColinsMum Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/19/08
    Posts: 1898
    Loc: Scotland
    Originally Posted By: ElizabethN
    Originally Posted By: CCN
    Btw, how do you make flour from scratch? (Impressive!). I made bread for awhile, but never flour...

    My mother used to do this when I was young and we were dirt poor (my father supported a family of four on a Ph.D. stipend). She would buy chicken feed and grind it into flour with an attachment on her mixer.

    You can buy whole grains that are for human consumption once you're not quite so poor too! It's fun, provided you have a mill or attachment (there are manual and electric ones) and it's even quite sensible as, unlike flour, the grains keep practically forever so you can buy in bulk; we get 8kg buckets.
    _________________________
    Email: my username, followed by 2, at google's mail

    Top
    #145568 - 01/06/13 01:14 PM Re: Is it perfectionism?? [Re: petunia]
    CCN Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/25/12
    Posts: 978
    Loc: BC, Canada
    Found this on my facebook feed:

    http://www.education.com/magazine/article/perfectionism/

    #9 is a huge:

    "Find activities for your child where she will not be the best. Help her learn how to handle being in such a situation. Do not let her discontinue the activity because it is difficult or uncomfortable."

    I've really tried to do this with DD10. We're making progress:

    My DD10 started a new level of figure skating today. It's a small group - only five skaters were there today - and the other four were above my DD in ability. The level is like... advanced regular skating but beginning figure skating (like they do backwards, one foot turns - that kind of thing).

    So my DD is a) on her first day, b) the youngest one, and c) only skates once a week (you don't learn much skating only once per week). She got her BUTT KICKED. The other four were quite strong, and DD needed help from the coach when the others didn't.

    If she had been put in that position even a year ago, she would have dropped her head and dissolved into tears (they know this about her at our club and at one point one of the supervisors skated by the group to check on her).

    Not only did she persist in trying, she came off the ice with a smile on her face. I was stunned, amazed, and to say I was PROUD is the biggest understatement of the year.

    (LOL they think they're teaching her skating, but they don't realize they're actually providing her with anxiety/ocd/perfectionism therapy ;p )


    Edited by CCN (01/06/13 01:17 PM)

    Top
    #145569 - 01/06/13 01:18 PM Re: Is it perfectionism?? [Re: CCN]
    JonLaw Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/29/11
    Posts: 2007
    Loc: The Sub-Tropics
    Originally Posted By: CCN
    #9 is a huge:

    "Find activities for your child where she will not be the best. Help her learn how to handle being in such a situation. Do not let her discontinue the activity because it is difficult or uncomfortable."


    This didn't really help me, since I was forced to do baseball for years, while being horrible at it.

    It did, however leave me with a lifelong dislike for sports in general and for much physical activity of any kind.

    The key may be that the child has to have *some interest* in the activity, rather than being forced to do it.

    So, you are doing an activity that you want to get better at, rather than be part of something that you just want to end.

    Top
    #145570 - 01/06/13 01:24 PM Re: Is it perfectionism?? [Re: petunia]
    CCN Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/25/12
    Posts: 978
    Loc: BC, Canada
    Originally Posted By: petunia
    And, this morning, we've had another meltdown so I just feel like a very bad parent.


    Aw, of course you're not smile These are just complex kids.

    His school sounds great. If his marks are all top notch, he might still not be challenged enough. It sounds positive though.


    Edited by CCN (01/06/13 01:25 PM)

    Top
    #145571 - 01/06/13 01:26 PM Re: Is it perfectionism?? [Re: JonLaw]
    CCN Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/25/12
    Posts: 978
    Loc: BC, Canada
    Originally Posted By: JonLaw


    The key may be that the child has to have *some interest* in the activity, rather than being forced to do it.

    So, you are doing an activity that you want to get better at, rather than be part of something that you just want to end.


    That's a good point. It could have been worded better...

    Top
    Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >


    Moderator:  M-Moderator, Mark D. 
    Recent Posts
    Full time in person learning-accommodati
    on for ADD

    by aeh
    Yesterday at 12:28 PM
    Grading practices
    by aeh
    10/18/20 12:49 PM
    The Politics of Gifted Education
    by Eagle Mum
    10/18/20 05:42 AM
    How can teachers challenge a more academically adv
    by Kai
    10/17/20 07:16 PM
    Montessori vs. dedicated gifted school
    by ojojojoj
    10/14/20 09:28 AM
    Davidson Institute Twitter