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    #14266 04/21/08 08:34 AM
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    Lori H. Offline OP
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    Should I force my homeschooled 2E child to participate in activities with age mates at church or homeschool groups even though he tells me that he has nothing in common with them and doesn't enjoy it? He says even though he is an actor (musical theater) and can pretend to be interested when all they want to talk about is sports, he says this is very tiring and he doesn't feel that he gets anything out of being around these kids. He says they expect him to listen to them talk about sports yet they are not willing to listen to him talk about things he is interested in and they think he is a geek because he is not like them. He brought up the fact that I had difficulty fitting in with the other homeschool moms because I had nothing in common with them and then he asked me to imagine how he felt when he was forced to be with these kids who were nothing like him. He wanted to know what I expected him to get out of the experience. I told him I would ask for opinions on this message board. What do you think?

    He does have five really good friends, and five more that consider him a friend, but only one gifted friend his age and he doesn't feel like he has as much in common with this boy as he does with this boy's gifted older brother. The rest of my son's good friends are all 3-4 years older. Some of these friends are taller than I am and my son just looks so little next to them, but they are the only ones that invite him to birthday parties and the only ones that he wants to ask to come over to our house and there really isn't a problem except that I think this probably looks weird to other people. There is another gifted boy that I think would fit right in with this group of friends but I am afraid to ask his parents if he can come over to visit my son who is several years younger. He is a friend of my son's friends and they have gone to some of the same birthday parties and sleepovers.

    All of my son's best friends have common interests, are in G&T in school and don't like sports that much and would also be considered geeks. Because they are not into sports, my son's motor coordination disorder is not a problem. Should I just invite these kids over more and not worry about what other people think? This is what my son thinks we should do.

    He would also like to find other kids who are 2E like him to talk to because none of his friends are 2E. They are just gifted. He said he would like to meet a kid with Asperger's that lives in Texas (where my son's sister lives) because he read his blog at www.giftedgearreview.blogspot.com/ and my son and I both think this kid sounds a lot like him in some ways, especially the use of sarcasm in his humor. I read what this boy wrote under "Here's the thing..." and some of the things he says sound like things my son might say and my husband read it and agreed. It was obvious from the way this boy writes that he is highly intelligent. My son does not have Asperger's but there are a lot of similarities. There must be a fine line between gifted with Asperger's and gifted with motor dyspraxia and a sarcastic sense of humor. By the way, my husband also has this sarcastic sense of humor but like my son, he knows when to use it and when not to use it. My husband and my son both have lot of friends that appreciate their humor. I enjoy listening to them shoot puns back and forth at each other. Their "humor processing speed" is at a much higher level than mine. I can't think of funny things to say fast enough to keep up with them. Too bad this is something they don't test. I think my son would do very well on this kind of test because physical speed and endurance are not required.


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    Speaking from experience here--I used to dread my birthday because my mom would always want me to invite "the little girls in my class" over for a party. My issues were different from your son's but I had a similar feeling that I was being tortured when my mom just wanted me to have a good time at my birthday party like other kids do. I was relieved when I turned twelve and she agreed that we could just go out to dinner as a family.

    It seems to me that your son's social development is fine. He has friends who reciprocate the friendship. I think it is fine to cultivate those relationships and not worry about age peers. Think about the people your son will be interacting with in his possible future careers--would he fit in? It doesn't sound like it will be a problem smile

    By the way, even though I had a very hard time making friends as a kid, I enjoyed college and have had plenty of friends since then.

    Cathy

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    I've always heard that the difference between the kid you worry about and the kid you don't is the difference between zero friends and one real friend. I think there's logic there.

    Personally, I'd suggest that you shouldn't push your DS to socialize with kids he doesn't like, unless avoiding these situations is going to cause more trouble than it is worth. We adults don't enjoy socializing with people who wear us out and make us feel out of place, and I think kids should be paid the same measure of respect.

    If he hadn't tried being with them, I'd say that he should give it a try. But he's tried it and he doesn't enjoy himself. What's the point in pushing? Where's the benefit?


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    Lori H. Offline OP
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    I am optimistic that he will find others like him when he goes off to college some day. He doesn't fit in so well right now because he likes to joke about things that other kids don't understand. For example, he will joke about the cause of his sensory integration dysfunction by saying something like "I guess I experienced an unexpected system shut down while configuring my settings and it resulted in a system error." We had told him that we thought his problems had something to do with his birth--his heartbeat stopped on the monitor, the cord was wrapped around his neck, and he had to be delivered with forceps. Only the older gifted kids really get his humor sometimes.

    He says he wants to learn design video games and one of his older friends is also interested in this, so yes I think he would fit in.

    In addition to his male friends, there are also two girls that like him, both gifted, but they are closer to his age. I intercepted a Wii message from one of them. My son was embarrassed. I didn't realize this started so early. He won't be ten until next month.

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    Lori H. Offline OP
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    There is no benefit that I can think of. I think I do need to invite the friends over that he already has. Thanks!

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    Hi Lori H,
    I say - 5 good friends! That's wonderful! Let him slide on the agemates for now. You may want to insist that he spend some 'service' time helping younger children as a way to build character, but I can't see what good it will be to force in into agemate interactions.

    DS11 also votes for 'let him be.'

    I wish I had a lead on where to correspond with other 2E kids - have you explored Hoagiesgifted.org?

    Smiles,
    Grinity


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    I think he is doing really well and he knows what he wants and doesn't want. Being with the other kids would just make him miserable. He seems happy with the way things are and that's what really matters.


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    Lori H. Offline OP
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    Last night my son had a three-hour rehearsal for a musical revue performance his group will do at an arts festival this weekend. A cute little gifted girl who is 1 1/2 years younger than my son, who once told my son that she was going to marry him some day, and is usually his dance partner, followed him outside as he was leaving. He was trying to ignore her and when she told him goodbye he didn't say anything. I heard her say "You need to learn some manners!" and he replied "You're right. I don't know anything about "manors," I live in a normal house."

    I think her family enjoys word play and they kid around like his at home. Her mom wrote for our local newspaper until she quit her job to homeschool her daughter and I think the dad is a computer engineer. She also wants to try out for the spelling bee next year so she borrowed my son's old spelling bee booklet. So they have a few things in common--but she's a very girlie girl and my son is so not interested. My husband says he didn't become interested in girls until he was about 14.

    So it looks like my son even has a girlfriend whether he wants one or not!

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    I like your son! I'm always a pushover for the quick witted. I wouldn't worry about socializing in groups he doesn't like.

    Last edited by st pauli girl; 04/23/08 06:31 AM.
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    Lori H. Offline OP
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    One more thing. I realized that he has also learned how to be a friend and I think this is so important.

    He absolutely did not want to do the arts festival performance. It was put on the schedule months ago and we both told the acting teacher that he only wanted to do the next play and nothing else. But at the last minute (exactly one week before they are supposed to perform) my son was asked if he would do the show because if he didn't one of the girls would not have a dance partner. Learning dance routines quickly is not an easy thing for a kid with motor dyspraxia. Singing while trying to remember the dance routine is even harder. He knew how hard it would be. But they asked him and he had 15 minutes to decide. I told him I was not going to try to influence him in any way, that it was totally up to him. One of his older high school aged friends did ask him to please do it because otherwise there were not going to be enough kids to do a good show. So my son agreed to do it, because his friends asked him to, even though the girl who would be without a dance partner annoys him sometimes.

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    Lori H. Offline OP
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    My son did the arts festival performance yesterday and it went very well even thought they only did 2 rehearsals, a few of the kids were absent at each of the rehearsals, and he had to learn a new dance routine that required jumping onto an older kid's back at just the right time without falling off, while smiling and singing, of course, and he only got to practice this twice at the first rehearsal. He also had to climb onto another kid's back when they formed a human pyramid. These are challenging for my child with motor dyspraxia and hypotonia but he did it. There was another dance move and I don't know what it is called but the girl had to jump onto her partner's side and the boy has to support her for a few seconds. My son's dance partner had faked this part during rehearsals because she was afraid she would knock him down but at the show she actually jumped and he supported her without falling or looking like this was difficult for him. Maybe the OT is helping a little already. But he still needed help with costume changes. At one of the rehearsals he was in a hurry because he just had about thirty seconds before he had to go back on stage and he said "which foot does this shoe go on?" and I know people are surprised when they hear him say something like this because he seems so very intelligent. He does not have a problem with dressing when he has plenty of time. He just can't compensate for his disability when he is rushed.

    When he asked me to help him with his shoe, I am not proud of this, but I looked at him and with an irritated tone of voice said "What is wrong with you--it goes on that foot." Even I was guilty of thinking he was being lazy but I looked this up at home and found other people--even another adult with motor dyspraxia--that had this same difficulty.

    His sister who lives in another state was able to come and watch the show and he was very happy about this and I heard people saying good things about their performance and these were people just walking around the arts festival who stopped to watch. My son kept saying that it just relatives of the kids in the group who thought they were good and he liked hearing that non-relatives also enjoyed it.

    We got to watch the dance group that performed before them and they were really good. I wish I could talk my son into taking a Hip Hop dance class because I think it looks fun, but my son doesn't want to do it and his musical theater friends said they just can't see him doing that kind of dance. It looks like such good exercise though. I am thinking of buying a learn to dance video so that we can both try this at home without anyone seeing us.

    We found an online message board where he can talk to teens with dyspraxia. Some of them sound like they are similar to my son--very intelligent but with motor difficulties that are worse on some days then others and having to deal with people who don't understand. He was very happy to be able to connect with other kids like him--even though they are in another country. It is so nice to find other people who understand his difficulties.


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    Wonderful news about DS's performance. DO NOT GUILT TRIP YOURSELF about momentary backstage faux-pas.

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    Agreed. You're human. Apologize if you need to for snapping at him, and then let it go. We all make mistakes, and perfectionism and parenting don't go together! smile

    And pats on the back for your DS! laugh


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    Lori H. Offline OP
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    Thanks everyone. Something else happened today that really bothered me. After piano lessons, I took my son to eat at a local restaurant. About ten high school aged kids came in and and my son overheard one of them say to another "Hey that kid over there is gay."

    In our town, if you do musical theater or dance or play a musical intrument instead of doing sports you are called gay or a geek and we already knew this from my son's middle school and high school aged friends, but somethow I thought by homeschooling we could avoid some of this.

    A few minutes later, my son saw his high school quarterback cousin walk in to the restaurant and said he thought about pretending that he didn't see him so that his cousin could also pretend that he didn't know him and then he wouldn't be embarrassed when his friends found out that he had such a geeky cousin.

    I know that I have to really watch what I say. He has enough to deal with.

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    Originally Posted by Lori H.
    About ten high school aged kids came in and and my son overheard one of them say to another "Hey that kid over there is gay."

    <eyeroll> How original.

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    Originally Posted by Lori H
    At one of the rehearsals he was in a hurry because he just had about thirty seconds before he had to go back on stage and he said "which foot does this shoe go on?" and I know people are surprised when they hear him say something like this because he seems so very intelligent. He does not have a problem with dressing when he has plenty of time. He just can't compensate for his disability when he is rushed.

    Ha, my son who has not been diagnosed with any "official" disability takes forever to get dressed and can't do things fast, no matter what is going on :-)

    Someone else has mentioned in another thread, that your son Lori seems to be at peace with his disability and his akwardness (sp).
    You should be SO HAPPY !!! Many not 2E teenagers struggle with who they are and can't except themselves.


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    Originally Posted by Lori H.
    We found an online message board where he can talk to teens with dyspraxia. Some of them sound like they are similar to my son--very intelligent but with motor difficulties that are worse on some days then others and having to deal with people who don't understand. He was very happy to be able to connect with other kids like him--even though they are in another country. It is so nice to find other people who understand his difficulties.

    Yippee!
    BTW - sorry about the shoe snap. Think of it as an opportunity to model appology and acceptence of one's human limitations. I snap at mine sometimes also - I try to take it as a learning opportunity for myself, to be a little more sympathetic to my son's teachers and other adults, and to see the level of stress I am under trying to hold a mental map of my son's strengths and weaknesses in my mind.

    Love and More Love,
    Grinity


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    Lori H. Offline OP
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    I should have listened to the advice, but I decided at the last minute to take my son to Vacation Bible School at our small town church. I thought my son and I both needed to get out of the house and around other people. I was feeling very sad and depressed because I realize that my mother is probably nearing the end stage of dementia and I know that my Dad will need more help from us in caring for her. The thought of this is just overwhelming for me sometimes. I guess I just wanted to feel that our lives were normal for a few hours.

    I had to talk my son into going to Vacation Bible School. I told him that he did not have to do the hand motions during the songs and that he could sit out during races and that I would explain to the crafts teacher that he might take a little longer to do some crafts. I just wanted him to try to have fun and I did see him smiling a few times.

    But I could feel some of the VBS teachers looking at me when my son didn't do some of the physical activities that he was self conscious about doing because of his motor coordination disorder. Some of them are teachers at the public school or are retired public school teachers. Two of the VBS teachers had a conversation next to me about how they had trouble with their kids when they were older because they did not "make" them do things when they were younger. One teacher I talked to did seem to understand when I explained that my son was twice exceptional. She said she knew that kids like mine fall through the cracks in our school. She was very nice, but the rest of the teachers, while nice to my face, were watching me and most likely talking about me. Talking about other people seems to be something they really enjoy in our small town and of course, sports, but I think that it is probably a typical small town.

    As we were leaving, I noticed the daughter of the swimming teacher who gave my son lessons a few years ago. I talked to her while she waited for her mother. I had called her mother before school was out for the summer (she is also a public school teacher) and asked if she was going to do the swimming lessons again because my son really wanted to take lessons from her. She said she would let me know. When I talked to her daughter I found out that she was doing the lessons and that they were already booked up for June and I realized then that she probably didn't want my son in the class so I didn't stay.

    My son and I then walked to our car and the lady who is in charge of VBS told me that teachers and parents who are staying during VBS are not supposed to park where I parked, although there is no sign.

    I tried so hard to keep it together on the way home, but by the end of the 15 minute drive, I couldn't hold it in any longer and I started crying and of course my son thinks it is his fault. We didn't go back this morning but tonight is family night and if my husband can go with me I want to go and pick up my son's craft.

    My son was supposed to go to acting practice yesterday evening, but when I told him his teacher had sent an email saying she was going to start 4 day a week rehearsals, he said that wasn't fun any more either and he didn't want to go. Instead, he went online and looked at all the pictures of the musicals he had been in, starting when he was four. He felt sad about it not being the way it used to be and said he just didn't want to do it any more. One of his friends is a relative of the acting teacher and he told us months ago that she gave the best parts to her relatives because her family had to look better than anyone else. All those times when she gave my son his lines to memorize last or forgot to make enough copies of the music CD so he would have to wait while the other kids had their CDs to practice with finally made sense. So the acting class isn't exactly a refuge from petty competitiveness. Yet he decided to stay for a while after hearing this because some of his friends were still in the group. Most of them have quit now though. If he quits now, she will not let him back in.

    I went to visit my parents and my dad told me that he had his worst day with my mother because she didn't make it to the bathroom in time and she didn't want to be cleaned up and she fought him and fell on the floor and he had a lot of trouble getting her back up and they both had new bruises and it was just awful.

    It looks like we are on our own here. I guess we can now add reclusive to our description of our homeschooling style, because I will not try again. I guess we will now be eclectic, reclusive homeschoolers.

    My son is okay with this. He said he knew from day one that VBS would not work for us but he knew that I wanted to go, so he went. He says he feels like he makes my life more difficult sometimes and he wants me to be happy.

    He said we just need to spend more time on the internet because with the internet you can be whoever you want to be and you can even have friends online. He says he will leave this state when he is older and maybe even this country, but until then, he can visit places online and meet people online.

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    ((HUGS))
    Sorry to hear about your bad days.

    Grimity


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    Oh, Lori, I am so sorry you are going through all this. You've got way too much on your plate. I wish I had some advice for you but I don't. Could your husband take your son somewhere for a weekend so that you could at least get some rest? Or, maybe you should leave for the weekend and check into a motel and just sleep and eat and sit in the hot tub?

    Hugs, here, too.

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    ((Hugs)) Lori. That sounds so difficult. You must be so worried about your parents, too.

    I wish I had some brilliant advice for you frown All I can say is, don't give up looking for like-minded people. There must be some out there! They may have gone reclusive, though, which makes them hard to find.

    Cathy

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    I understand your dark day, Lori, and you aren't alone, totally. I hope you find some peace when you come here! Too many things added up at onece and it gets very discouraging. Sometimes the next day or maybe the next week looks a little brighter, I hope this happens for you and your son.
    Your son still sounds hopeful and that's huge.
    Keep doing what you need to do and don't give up.
    Don't let "the man" get you down, seriously, don't!
    smile

    ((hugs))

    Neato

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    Lori - that is so profoundly sad. How old is your DS?

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    So so sorry Lori.

    Sending a big hug.

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    I'm sorry, Lori! frown

    You know, I've found that if we seem confident and comfortable with ourselves, then others seem to accept us better. Maybe your posts aren't reflective of the way you present yourself IRL, since this is a safe place filled with supportive people. Maybe you're exposing yourself here in a way that you wouldn't IRL, and in IRL you project confidence.

    But if you are IRL as you project yourself here, you do seem to me to feel insecure and lacking confidence. You seem bothered quite a lot by what people think. You seem to expect people to reject you and your son, even to look for rejection in situations that don't seem to me to be personal.

    That makes me sad for you. frown It also tends to be self-fulfilling.

    I'm not saying that people aren't rejecting you and your son. I'm sure it happens, since it happens to everyone sometimes. I'm just saying that rather than assuming the worst, maybe you could assume the best and even ignore the slights that do happen. Being socially clueless, shrugging off when people are subtly not-nice, can be a really great strategy for dealing with petty meanness.

    For example, maybe the swim teacher didn't want your son in the class. That's possible. But it's also possible that she just forgot that you asked her to call you. But you assumed the worst there, and didn't even ask her. Why? Why not assume the best? What have you got to lose? At worst, she 'fesses up and says she didn't want your son in the class. But at least you had the chance to ask her about it. And the best case is that she says, "Oh! I forgot all about it! I'll fit him in because it was my mistake!" But if you leave without asking because you assume the worst, you never find out. Even if she did purposefully slight you, asking her about it gives you the chance to make *her* feel bad for her bad behavior rather than *your* feeling bad and her escaping scot-free.

    Another example: you assumed the teachers were talking about you and saying negative things. Maybe they were. But we don't know that for sure. Either way, you can choose to be sensitive to it and let it get to you, or you can choose to smile and be friendly and they might even decide to do the same. Maybe not, but at least you don't have to feel like you have to hide. You don't have to hide, you know! You're allowed to take your son to VBS regardless of everyone else. No one else's opinion has to matter. Why let it?

    And the parking thing: that was dumb of the church, but that wasn't anything personal. They'd have said the same thing to anyone who parked there, right? That's the sort of thing that you're choosing to take personally, to let get to you, but you really don't have to.

    It sounds like the VBS program wasn't a good fit for you and your son and the people there were not very welcoming. But I wonder if you could just ignore the pettiness and smile and behave as if you feel happy and confident and where you belong, and then maybe you'll find that it's true. People tend to be uncomfortable around insecure people. We tend to be friendly around confident, cheerful, relaxed people.

    I'm NOT saying this is your fault. As I read over this, I want to make sure that's clear. I think you and your son have gone through some really yucky stuff and you're in a very unwelcoming town. I think it's been really hard on you. I'm sorry for that.

    I'm just saying that "Fake it until you make it" sounds like it might work for you here. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and all that. Pretend you belong and they might just treat you as if you do. Show how proud you are of your son. Smile and be supportive of him when he's struggling physically, but don't let it make you uncomfortable. Explain kindly if people seem concerned or confused, but always seem okay with it instead of insecure.

    After all, your son is a very special, wonderful kid! He's a kid to be proud of! And if you both hold your heads up, you may find that you attract other great and special people to you. You are different than those around you, but I'm SURE there is at least one other person around who doesn't buy into the sports-worshipping society there. There has to be! We're in a similar sort of community, but we've found people like us. It's just about making yourselves attractive to friendships while you look.

    Hang in there, Lori! I'm thinking good thoughts for you! smile


    Kriston
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    Lori - so sorry you've had so many troubles. What a rotten day. Sending you e-hugs.

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    Lori, I think sometimes we grownups get in the way of the kids. A parent of a mentally handicapped child once told me how much she appreciated my daughter playing with her daughter at a weekend church outing. My daughter is much younger than hers(this has been 20 years ago), but they were at the same stage of development and interests. I didn't know how to interact or respond to mother/daughter, but my daughter did! From that, I just learned to listen more.
    I know I don't always say the right things. Sometimes when I see a handicapped person(or someone just different!) in passing I think, "Does that person feel offended and feel like I'm staring if I look at him?", then I wonder, "Does that person feel I'm avoiding if I look away?" It's our own shortcomings that cause issues, too!

    I hope you find a real life community where your sons differences are accepted as part of who he is, and his brilliance can shine unhampered.

    Last edited by OHGrandma; 06/05/08 07:10 AM. Reason: not sure handicapped is the word I wanted
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    Lori H. Offline OP
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    Thanks everyone. My son and I went to VBS family night yesterday. My husband joined us about a half hour later. He walked in wearing his leather motorcycle vest that he wears on his Patriot Guard missions and he looked like some tough biker dude. People were looking at him, but he didn't care. He has the confidence to carry it off. I know I need to work on this problem of mine. Both my husband and son tell me I need to quit worrying about what other people think.

    One of my son's friends who goes to this church, also gifted, but several years older, came over to sit with us. None of the kids my son's age ever do, yet certain people don't like it if I ask that my son be allowed to go to class with his friends.

    I had told my son that he could stay with us and we would just watch the kids do their songs with the hand motions that they were expected to learn in just a couple of days, something that is very difficult for a child with motor dyspraxia. But when he went to throw his cup away his VBS teacher saw him and asked him to stay. He stood there while the other kids did the hand motions, and I realize that most kids really enjoy this, but my son is different, it is not fun for him and he and I had a deal that if he went I would not expect him to do this.

    There are only three or four people that make me feel very uncomfortable, but they seem to be in charge of everything. There is one in particular. A few years ago I went to pick up my son from a Bible class that she was teaching and I could hear the irritation in her voice when he asked questions that were not easily answered and when he was the last to finish writing or doing crafts. My husband and I both explained that he has a mild disability that makes doing anything requiring good motor skills more difficult and that he needed extra time to finish but that he is also academically gifted and it is not unusual for gifted kids to ask difficult questions. He does not want to cause difficulty for anyone and he knows from the tone of their voice that he is.

    One year I asked if my son could go the class that the older friend he had brought with him was going to because what fun is it to bring a friend if you are going to be separated from them the entire time? This is one of his best friends, also gifted and with common interests, but he was three years older. They didn't like it, but they let my son stay with his friend. I listened outside the door and it was fine. I heard one of the older kids who knew my son very well tell the teacher that it was okay because he was very smart. He loved going to that class and listening to the class discussions.

    But ever since then, it felt like things changed. I never asked to have him in a different class after that. My son said he felt that we were "shunned."

    I have not found anyone else dealing with similar issues in our town. Not one person, so it just gets kind of lonely sometimes. There isn't anyone else that I can talk to about some of these things.

    My special ed teacher friend understands my son's giftedness and the disability that he deals with. Two of her sons, my son's best friends, are also gifted but although she knows about my son's disability she has not lived with it and she has no idea about my mother. I don't tell anyone else about that.

    So thanks again everyone for listening. It really does help.

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    Originally Posted by Lori H.
    Thanks everyone. My son and I went to VBS family night yesterday. My husband joined us about a half hour later. He walked in wearing his leather motorcycle vest that he wears on his Patriot Guard missions and he looked like some tough biker dude. People were looking at him, but he didn't care. He has the confidence to carry it off. I know I need to work on this problem of mine. Both my husband and son tell me I need to quit worrying about what other people think.

    Lori, why wouldn't people be looking at him?

    Btw, thank him for what he does on his Patriot Guard missions. That could be one reason people were looking at him, too; wondering if they should go thank him in person.

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    Lori H. Offline OP
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    Thank you. I will tell my husband who is a Vietnam vet, a former army first sergeant, very strong and extremely smart. High intelligence was a job requirement for what he did in the army. I met some of this small group of people that he once worked with in Vietnam. They all seemed scary smart.

    He believes what he is doing is important and so do I. My son and I sometimes go with him to visit veterans centers, but we follow him in the car. We had the opportunity to talk to people who served in World War II and some of their stories are very interesting but it is hard to understand some of them when they speak. I think my son's experience with his grandmother helps him figure out what they are trying to say. That intuition of his is definitely an asset here and the fact that my son loves military history helps also.

    You would think a former army first sergeant might insist that his son do everything he is asked to do in VBS in spite of the disability, but he doesn't. He is very supportive of his son and considerate of his feelings. I think my husband would have been a very good teacher and in fact, he was chosen for this last supervisory job because he has the ability to watch people and see how they learn best and then teach to their learning style. He was never trained as a teacher. He just uses his intelligence and common sense.


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    What an interesting topic- I love reading everyone's posts - I have been wondering the same thing -my DS5 just does not seem to make a connection with anyone in his classroom (he is right now the oldest child)and I was wondering about whether or not I try to push get togethers with the others in his class. Last year, there was a girl in his class for about 6 months who was a year older than him and they were best buddies and were basically inseparable - they would carry on long conversations and they both loved math and science -when she left to go onto K at the end of the year last year, he was really sad and went right back to being one of the few children who tends to play by himself in the classroom. When he gets the chance to be around 7-8 year old kids, he fits right in socially and completely brightens up. I was SOOO happy to see that this summer, some of the teachers at his preschool are having their own children come to the school during the day because their elementary school is out for the summer. My little guy became best buds with an 8 year old little girl who is in the other classroom - they both love all the same thing - again math and science- and when the classrooms combine together in the afternoon they get to hang out. For the past week, when I come to pick him up, instead of seeing him playing by himself outside he has been with his new friend just talking away non-stop together with big grins on their faces. He finally has someone that he can talk with on his level who is interested and understands what he is talking about.

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