Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Off Topic - Parenting

Oh, I hear that, AmyEJ! While we're dreaming, could I order breakfast in bed, too?

I had avoided making my 5 y.o. twin boys dress themselves until recently (DD7 has been doing it herself since she was able - her decision LOL - talk about fashion statements). After all, it's so much faster if I do it myself, and actually takes a lot less energy than all the yelling I occasionally have to do (here I am, 7 months along with child #5. So any path to "easier" is one I usually take, especially when it involves getting out the door anywhere close to on time). The last things I started making them do themselves were socks and shoes, just within the last month or so.

But I recently realized that we were missing out on a daily opportunity for DS5 to work on motor skills, especially with the socks (he has fine motor and various other sensory processing issues). In fact, a lot of the things his new OT has recommended involve having him help out with certain household "chores" on a daily basis. For DS5, now I think it's really quite important that he do these things himself. In contrast to his fiercely independent sister, he likes to be the baby, so changing over was hard. (in addition to motor skills, I also want to build his confidence regarding self-sufficiency.) So anyway, I think the motor skills angle may be something to consider for a child who has that sort of issue - obviously that can make getting dressed that much more difficult and time consuming, but in some cases the work may be a valuable contribution in an OT kinda way. Make sense?

One other little trick I should throw out there is to be creative with incentives - for a while the kids wanted to watch a certain show on tv in the morning, and I would tell them they had to be dressed first. Likewise, lately they've been arguing over who mommy will sit next to at breakfast, and I'll then say that I'll sit next to whoever gets dressed first (you never saw them get dressed so fast in your life LOL. Trouble with that is the last one usually sheds a few tears). So, be on the lookout for things that they really want, especially in the morning, to use as a bargaining chip.

Hi Squirt,
Great Question!
I was one of those do everything the night before folks, with washing and changing into 'tommorow clothes' before bed, laying out everything in the staging area, allowing breakfast eating and toothbrushing in the car on the way to school. Of course what helped the most was that I has a deadline of getting to work after the drop off! Lots of talk about how proud I was of DS helping the family by helping to get Mommy to work on time. Eventually I did get DH to do the actual driving to school, but I still had to do the pre-wake up, the wake up, breakfast, backpack backing - but it sure was wonderful. When I drove, I would arrive at work feeling like I had just worked a full shift!

I would definitly consider waking DS up about 90 minutes before 'leave the house time.' And earlier bedtime if needed. I'm with Lorel on the 'no pajamas at school' thing. Our 'family rule' is - you can't wear the same outfit two days in a row. I love that for young boys sweatpants and a tee shirt or turtle neck equals 'dressed.' Frankly, if it isn't comfortable enough to sleep in, DS isn't going to make it through a school day in it - he was a 'cut the labels out' kind of kid.

Some kids really hate the cold air on the skin that was so nicely covered by pajamas so recently. In the winter you can keep the jammies on and use them as long underwear.

Keep a log and jot down what works and what doesn't - you may find amazing coincidences about what precedes morning meltdown.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

GS8 does that. I bought him several pairs of thermal knit jammies that have sports patterns on them. They're almost identical to what the same manufacturer also sells as long underwear. He's always been easy to get up & dressed, but this stopped any whining about being cold when he got up.

Thanks for all the great suggestions. For now, I've decided to just dress him without really giving him much of a choice. Like, put the t-shirt on over his head, unzip his jammies and get the arms right out of the jammies and into the shirt. That's worked the last two mornings.

I'll reread all the posts and come up with a better plan. I've tired a lot of the ideas but for right now I just have decided not to fight the battle and just do it for him. Glad to know I'm not alone and others have had problems.

I'm all for trying to raise adults, but I do think you have to survive the day. If dressing him works for now, then I say do it!

I mean, it's not like you'll be dressing him for college, right?! So, no worries!

Oh, darn it Dottie! You keep doing all you can to burst my happy little bubble of GT denial!

It's just mean! Mean, I tell you!

Now that DS11 no longer sleeps in his tommorow clothes, I do sometimes stick his new clothes under the sheets for 15 mintues to warm them up. Acutally, now he gets up to an alarm and changes before he comes down and all DH or I do is lay them out on a chair the night before!

Smiles,
Grinity

Hi all,

Last year we had a speaker at my dd school that had great ideas on how to resolve issues such as this one. I have been trying to find my notes and have finally found them!! Go to her website, www.calmerparenting.com and you will find great advice!