Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Challenges are necessary?

DS3 is currently in preschool, which teaches materials that he knew already.

Our goal for preschool is for him to learn the social aspect of school, routine, follow directions, etc.

He was telling me last night that they were teaching phonics at school, and I made a casual comment about he knew the materials already. DS said he likes easy things, which is true. He avoids challenging (but totally doable) tasks in general unless I accompany him.

I don’t want to be overly paranoid, but is it a cause for concerns?

At age 3? No, I wouldn't say so.

Not a cause for concern, but maybe cause for trying a new approach before it develops into harmful perfectionism.

At three, I'd say this is normal.

However-- in light of the fact that he's not really seeing novel things in the preschool setting, it wouldn't hurt to emphasize in an informal kind of way how much FUN it is to learn and try new things (and make mistakes at them). Exploration, experimentation, and just FUN.

Most kids learn that at preschool. ::shrug:: Your child needs to learn it somewhere, too.

I wish that I'd been a bit more assertive about encouraging FAILURE/mistakes as part of the exploratory process at that age (3-5yo). That window can close pretty fast for PG kiddos as they build a self-identity around "knowing" rather than "learning." If I could do it over again, I'd actively seek out activities without win/lose, right/wrong outcomes and do a LOT more of them with my DD.

"That window can close pretty fast for PG kiddos as they build a self-identity around "knowing" rather than "learning."

Could not agree more with this!

I can't speak that my ds6 is PG - but this is what we are dealing with EXACTLY. He loves to be the 'expert'...he is constantly asking me to quiz him on things he already knows. If I ask him a question he doesn't know during our "quiz" time, he gets frustrated and pouty. He doesn't want to combine his LEARNING with his KNOWING.

Now, he is extremely curious and is receptive to learning new things, but I notice that it is often on HIS terms.

In preschool/preK, we used it for social reasons...but also as a jumping off point for informal "homeschooling". We were able to expand upon a lot of ideas that sparked interest for him at school.

I wish I had the solution for the perfectionism thing. He is in soccer, where he FAR from the best. We were finally successful with swimming lessons this summer in that he didn't give up right away and finally conquered his fear of water (though the whole propelling self through water without drowning thing is a goal for next year...sigh).

We started playing a new challenging board game with ds6 and don't keep score at all. That has been a really nice way to teach ds to have fun, shrug off mistakes, and feel OK with learning something that takes some time.

I think learning that you already know everything the teacher is teaching is a bad thing to learn, even as early as age 3.

It has taken me YEARS to learn how to deal with real challenges. I'm something of a late bloomer because of this. Everything I choose to put in front of my DD (22months) is chosen with the idea that she needs the activity to be challenging, without it being so challenging that she can't "get" it, or way out of the range of where her motor skills currently are.

(Like we tried toddler scissors and easy mazes this past weekend and discovered she needs a few more weeks / months before we try again. My mom had DD trying to blow bubbles and she kept getting them in her mouth and screaming when my mom tried to help. So she got annoyed and brought her inside. I took her back out and showed her over and over and let her get soap in her mouth. She was so proud to finally got one bubble out. We let her practice jumping and going under in the pool, too, and she's improved with swimming considerably. I know not all parents would want to let their child go under and have to go through the struggle and swallowing water at a young age, but she wanted to and we felt she was ready to "get" being in water.)

The easy peg puzzles got put away as soon as she did her first 4 pc jigsaw. I immediately introduced 6, 9 and 12. When she mastered the 6 and 9, the 25 pc came out. She mastered the 12pc right before she mastered the 25, but I already had the 48 pc out to work on with her at that point. That's how I try to do everything.

There is always an easier option available, a challenging option, and something a little out of her league that she needs a decent amount of help with. I see her seek out the easier stuff when she needs a boost, and then work on the challenging stuff, and ask for my help and watch me when she feels like tackling the most challenging activities.

I've always done this with books, letters, numbers, tv shows, fine motor activities, helping around the house, etc. I introduce new concepts and activities, see what her reaction is, and then figure out where she's at with them.

It's work to really figure out where your child is, but I want her to internalize the idea that practice helps her master challenges and that mastering even harder things is exciting and fun.

I'd like to shield where other kids are at for as long as I can. All that matters is where *she* is at and what she's exploring and what progress *she* is making.

Oh my goodness, we have the same kid. I have nothing useful to add, but I'm reading all responses eagerly.

Talk to the pre-school teacher. Some schools have different pre-school classes. When my DDs were at preschool, they have 3yrs old, 4 yrs old and 5 yrs old pre-K and Kinder classes. If the teacher agrees that he can keep up with 4 yrs old, why not?

If they don't look, around and you may find some pre-schools able to do what your DS needs. We had been fortunate. Our DDs' preschool upgraded them without us asking and they were doing ABEKA 1st grade at 4.

He barely missed the cutoff; fortunately, they let him in the 4yo preschool.

I do try to give him more challenging educational materials at night. As long as I sit with him and encourage him, he is willing to work through the more challenging parts.

Between a full-time job and a younger child, I do not do it as consistently as I would like.