Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Where to go from here- any thoughts appreciated

Offer to help with the paperwork. Tell her you're willing to fill out the parts that you can to make her job easier. I've had teachers take me up on the offer, and others were at least motivated to move a little quicker once I'd offered - even if they didn't accept the help.

Thanks for the advice, Lisa. But, if you don't mind me asking, what paperwork should I offer to fill out?
I have offered to stuff folders and volunteer in class one day/ week. I have a 2 yr old that prevents me from doing more, based on the teacher needs. I also have volunteered to help in the library.
Btw, funny update, when I asked ds teacher about gifted she gave me gifted coordinator's email. So, I guess no one was to address this. I'm really just hoping all this effort on my part helps to get Ds he needs. The teacher also wants to meet with me and ds next week to discuss behavior and feelings. I'm a bit anguish about this because I don't want him to feel like he's in trouble or we're ganging up on him. Also, I'm not sure how he'll respond in front of both of us. And of course my dh will be oot.

Maybe Lisa means a 'gifted application'?

Hmmm...maybe I'm off, but I would think the teacher would want to meet with the parents first before addressing ds? That way, you and teacher can come up with a constructive plan so, as you say, ds doesn't shut down and cooperate even LESS.

It's hard enough to be 5, let alone be 5, meeting with two adults, and perceiving that you have done something terribly wrong.

Evemomma-
So, there is no application for gifted per say at this age. Just a meeting. As far as meeting with me and ds- yeah, that's how I feel. My dh seems to think it will be fine, but I'm leaning towards atleast asking for a gameplan, so I know what's gonna happen and can support ds and help him. I definitely don't want a touchy situation to get worse. Dh did suggest that I see if the meeting can happen in 2 weeks when he will be in town to atleast watch my ds age2. On a positive note, I met with the librarian today who knows ds well, and we had a lengthy conversation about how to continue with reading, AR testing and things to suggest to teacher. Yay.
I've also been worrying about his social situation at school. Teacher says he's fine, friends with everyone. Yet, he comes home telling me he has no friends, is looking for someone nice. I am wondering if he feels different. The only kid he talks about at school is his book buddy, a 3rd grader. I keep wondering if I could ask him if he feels this way, but I'm not quite sure how. When I've tried to ask about play dates, ds tells me, "if you want me to, Mommy." I have told him its if he wants to, so he's had no play dates since 8/1 when school started. Any thoughts?

Yup...I would wait until dh can come and no kids (really, how much real dialogue can go on?). I wanted to tell ds' teacher about his low frustration tolerance and other "flaws" that ds didn't need to hear spelled out out like that - let alone hear MORE about how "smart" he is (LOL).

We haven't had any play dates with "new" school friends. We're lucky, ds waits with a neighbor/friend at the bus stop and gets to fool around then. He also has about 6 boys from his soccer team (they've been playing together since they were 3) in the kindergarten classes at school (there are FIVE classes!). Only one of his soccer buds is in his class - and ds is really annoyed by him now) . Ds talks the most about 2 students (a boy and girl) that I think are probably the
more mature/ahead kids in class.


Maybe you could try to observe him st recess

...pushed submit too early. I think recess usually spells out social hierarchies more than even in class.

Does ds tend to hang with older kids? Our school does combined recess K-2, which can be bad for potential "bullying", but it also gives ds ability to play with some older kids.

Kids don't need a lot of friends...but they definitely need to feel they have at least one in class/lunch/recess.

So, teacher agreed to wait until dh is home, but I kind of want more input from teacher about what she wants to accomplish with meeting with ds and me. I'm sure he's just gonna say everything is "fine" in front of his teacher, but maybe ds will surprise me. As far as the social situation, it's kindy only on the playground- 4 classes somewhat staggered. He will play with different age kids, but they can't be real rough and tough boy. I keep hearing that he plays with lots of different kids, but he reports "none are his friend". Also, I have heard that he is never next to the same kid at lunch. On the bus, he's hanging with the 3rd graders. I think part of ds issue is he is very sensitive, so he is kind- most of the time, but if someone hurts his feelings- that's it. I realize he has to figure this out on his own, just wish he would "make 1 friend". I think it would help him feel better about his place in class. I don't know...

Yes - I meant the referral papers. I think the document was like 30 pages that we had to submit for our youngest. When you consider this has to be repeated for each child that a teacher believes needs to be screened for special education or gifted, it is daunting.

Thanks for the clarification, Lisa. Our school doesn't require that- thank goodness. Our school requires a meeting and map test score results.