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I had a meeting today with ds6 principal, K teacher, and school psychologist. The principal requested the meeting after I requested to have ds achievement tested to get a better understanding of where his abilities lie. I thought the meeting might go like this: here are the miniscule things we can do for ds, sorry.

Instead it went like this: you're crazy, ds is not ahead. What? I was left with my mouth open a few times...literally. And, just to preface, I have really checked my ego on this, I don't NEED ds to be ahead. I'm completely realistic with his cruddy soccer skills, pouty attitude, poor speech articulation, and asundry of other 'not perfect' things about ds. I love him no matter what - he's my awesome kid no matter.

So, firstly, my dh missed most of the meeting due to a traffic jam downtown. So that stunk: 3 against 1. They started out telling me how 'special' ds was and how he was thriving in the classroom. BTW: the description of "thriving" was that he doesn't get in any trouble and is pleasant.

Reading assessment: teacher explained ds was at a level d on the a-z system. I was flabbergasted. DS started reading at 2.5. At home, we are reading chapter books such as Magic Tree House (not sure what the level is, certainly not MAJORLY advanced, but pretty sure it's above a D). I asked how they came to this level, and the teacher (without any actual assessment in hand) explained that it probably wasn't his fluency but his reading comprehension that was struggling. Crazy. Just this weekend, my dh was quizzing my ds on his current chapter book - ds comprehends it fantastically. He's not a perfect reader...but he's far beyond K level. I honestly felt like they were talking about a different kid.

Then they showed me the results of his aimsweb testing. My ds' levels were everywhere: 99% in certain subtests and 10% in another. In fact, that one was letter identification, which everyone agreed meant that ds was clearly CLEARLY not invested in the assessment process. So essentially, they gave me all this information that, not only was ds not ahead, but he was potentially barely meeting standards. WTF?

I get the school can only see what ds shows them. But, then the teacher explained that she had given ds a challenge packet to work on (optionally) and he has chosen not to do so. If he's so on-par, then why would he have a challenge packet?

I felt like an idiot. Worse, my dh who arrived late, pretty much sat silently and let me sink as I attempted to explain where ds was ahead (reading - which they thought I was crazy), math - including multiplication/division/simple algebra. I honestly felt that they thought I was delusional. I asked my dh why he didn't speak up - but he said it wouldn't mean anything if ds isn't showing him his abilities. It would've meant something to me: that I am not crazy in my assessment that ds could've passed K curriculum LAST year (or even earlier).

So, we left it that teacher would send home the challenge packets for ds to do as homework, and that he could start participating in the AR program, and that the school pyschologist would look into some sort of assessment to look at ds' math ability.

I don't think they are malicious or out to get me or ds. I get that they can only assess what ds shows them...but I still left feeling like an idiot.

What do I do? It is clear that they are not seeing ds' ability or potential. It seems that ds has completely dumbed himself down to be the "perfect K-er". I am so sad to see that he isn't in an environment where his thirst for learning is met in the slightest.

Sorry for the rant - I feel discouraged.

I don't have anything useful to say but I couldn't read and not respond without saying how sorry I am this is happening. I've handed my kids IQ test over and had the school say "We have LOTS of VERY bright children here, and we don't see it (in her)"..... I do know exactly how awful and confusing a place that is to be.

I'm sorry it is going so poorly for you this year. Last year, we were really laid back about accommodations, and the school made some decent ones on their own. This year, we are extremely frustrated that the grade skip they suggested last year has not been enough for him and they are extremely unwilling to do more, and seem to think we are crazy for thinking he needs more.

We hae backed off again, and things are actually going better. My advice would probably be to take a longer eye on this right now. He is in kindergarten, and you have a lot of years in the school. Try to build a great relationship this year, and think of it as building a strong foundation for next year and beyond.

Options look to me like:

--get outside achievement testing to demonstrate what level he's working at

--look at your district's policy on grade acceleration. (Here they have to pass end-of-grade tests for the next grade up.)

--wait it out. It sounds as though he's not unhappy where he is. Kindergarten is still a very social time, learning the ropes of school; the academic aspirations are usually not too rigorous. If he's way ahead in first, they are more likely to want to address it.

If he's not terribly unhappy, I'd probably wait it out. YMMV...

DeeDee

Evemomma-
I am so sorry! I'm sure the meeting was your worst nightmare! So crazy! So, I wonder why your ds is so different at school? Do you think he has checked out because he's so bored? Or do you think he's trying to fit in? I would be interested to look more into that. I know my ds really hates doing stuff that is so beneath him and tells his teacher so. Unfortunately, I have been working with him to do whatever the teacher asks- that she is the boss. I don't really have any good advice. I just feel awful you are going through this.
Btw, magic tree house varies in level. Yet, most are in the second grade level. The books I've seen have the AR level on the back. Keep us posted!

Yup. Me too. Same exact thing. I have no advice, just commiseration.

Until... DS8's new grade 3 teacher made an amazing comment:

"It's as if... his mind is racing a mile a minute and the class is too easy for him so retreats into a more interesting place. I'm not supposed to diagnose anything, but let's just say he does better when he's challenged."

I wanted to HUG HER.

She couldn't really offer him any enrichment (he's on a reduced workload IEP already because of his ADHD) but she did suggest that I let him work out of his sister's (grade 5) math text book.

(coolest.teacher.ever.)

I know you're thinking "if she's not willing/able to enrich him, why are you happy?" ...because it's nice that she GETS him.

She's also willing to let him skip school once a month or so to let me enrich him one-on-one. (a.w.e.s.o.m.e.) I've suggested this in the past and have been met with resistance: "He'll lose too much French exposure." (In their defense I originally suggested home schooling him one day per week, which would have been 24 hrs/month missed French exposure, which is significant at that level).

Anyway, Evemomma, this small progress has taken us until grade 3. I feel your frustration...

Yes - this exactly Sometimes you just have to wait.

Sorry you went through that... Some buried good news, AR is a pretty cool system. If your DS focuses on the super easy levels and knocks out the tests, it will continuously improve its suggested reading level range. And the math assessment, ultimately progress.

But the aimsweb, hilarious (in a bad way): if he is not invested in the testing but gets 99% on some parts, then random *blankin* chance isn't going to let that happen; so, if there are any false results it would be the low ones.

So sorry, that you had such a bad experience. We have been there too. I would suggest to wait and observe and take notes. I had to push hard to get the grade skip for our ds. Even after they administered tests and they clearly showed, that ds was at least couple years ahead in most areas. Long story short, at end we were able to skip a grade after we signed that we are doing it against school's recommendations. Outside testing was ignored by the way, never considered for anything. What helped us in every discussion was that I had taken notes on everything, including conversations with his teachers. And yes, we had three bad years before ds was able to skip. Now looking back at it, I am glad we persisted. Do not give up, just take a deep breath and come up with a different plan to continue.

I'm so sorry it went badly. As much as you know your kiddo is capable of more, if he is "not getting into trouble and is pleasant", maybe it won't be so bad to wait it out until next year.