I think that my DD's experiences are very similar to ljoy's. She LOATHES the "ohhhhhh... genius" comments.
My mother was also terribly anxious about producing an "arrogant" child, and spend a LOT of time 'correcting' me anytime I drew any attention to myself whatsoever-- often via seeking information or making observations.
I caution parents about that now-- because her constant sniping at me about how I wasn't worthy of thinking so highly of myself, I should think less of myself, keep quiet since nobody wanted my opinion/questions.... I wasn't compassionate, that I was selfish, etc.
Yeah-- bigtime imposter syndrome and very poor self-esteem. Being HG
is a core part of my identity. It's who I am. Having to deny that or (from a child's perspective) jeopardize my mother's love for me... wow. Talk about Faustian. I'm also
extremely introverted, but also extremely empathetic and socially skilled. My mom's view of me was simply WRONG, and it was based on her own misconceptions and baggage.
One thing that I think is important here is that kids who are globally advanced (and accelerated 2+ years) can misinterpret the information that they have regarding their relative strengths. My daughter, too, thinks that she is "bad at math." Why? Because my 13yo has had to actually
work at anything past geometry, that's why. The rest of her academic life is more or less effortless. AP physics this year has been a positive
revelation to her-- it's frankly rocked her world a bit.
She also has a HG friend (unaccelerated) who is in her grade now and has become best friends with her. 3yrs her senior, he and she are the first
true peers that either of them has ever found that they had interests in common with. The problem, though, is that my DD has (quite wrongly) assumed that her friend is "bright, but not exceptionally so" and is therefore interpreting the two of them being about on par with one another academically as her being "nothing out of the ordinary" yet again. Neither one of them really has to work much at schoolwork, and top marks just... fall out of that. Don't they for everyone?
In other words, from an emotional standpoint, if she can FIND a way to spin information to make herself seem less worthy, less intelligent, less likable, more awkward, etc... she seems to gravitate to it.
I'm not so worried about arrogance as I am about finding a way for my child to have an authentic and honest inner voice that isn't sniping at her and hellbent on cutting her down at every opportunity.
