Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Reminder 101 Text Messaging

I do think there is a HUGE "adolescent " leap from about 11 to 13 (maybe the biggest of all). I know you said your dd is younger - maybe that's part of the rub. I'll better the cell-phone expectation:

My ds' KINDERGARTEN class won a "good behavior" class party. The teacher sent a note stating that kids would be given time to use an electronic device with these suggestions : nintendo ds, kindle, leap pad, leapster OR (get this) iPad! What parent in their right mind would send an iPad to school with their 5/6 year old????!

What a way to differentiate have and have nots!

[quote=Evemomma What parent in their right mind would send an iPad to school with their 5/6 year old????!

What a way to differentiate have and have nots! [/quote]

I'm still mad at Steve Jobs for killing the Apple II line of computers.

So, it's not so much that I'm not a "have" as much as I am a "will not" (buy an Apple product because you hurt my feelings).

Exactly, Jon.

My daughter is remarkable among her peers (as noted-- most of whom are 3+ years her senior) for having both a feature phone and a texting plan.

Many of her friends either do not have cell phones of their own (they are permitted to use a "house" cell on an as-needed basis) or they have not got a texting plan for one. The few who do have texting plans do so because of apparent need (to communicate via text with parents)-- and most of them don't "abuse" the privilege; but all of the kids in that group have more lenient parents when considered in the context of that peer group. The more 'strict' parents much more tightly control their kids' electronic access.

She doesn't have any friends who have smartphones of their own.

These are mostly HIGH-SCHOOL KIDS-- and all of them are 8th grade and up.

Mostly this is because her peer group has parents who don't see a "need" for such things. It's not about ability to pay (though in at least a few instances, it could be that too) since these are also families who are paying out of pocket for college, enrolling their kids in pricey extracurriculars, etc. We live in a reasonably affluent place.

While I like the idea of 'reminders' like this in some ways-- I also do NOT like the idea of communication methods which don't directly involve the parents in some way,if only tangential.

Besides, with the sheer volume of incoming electronic messaging that my DD, my DH, and I get each day? Phhhhhhhhth. Anyone who is this wired in probably gets so much of this stuff that sorting through it all becomes yet another thing to do. Not exactly helpful.

For me, it's mostly that after throwing thousands upon thousands of dollars down the technology rathole early in my life, I'm pretty much finished funding Apple and friends.

OTOH, wouldn't you expect a student in middle school to be transitioning to a place where they are responsible for keeping track of homework assignments and studying for tests? I understand that parents need feedback on grades etc, but as a parent I do want my children to move toward independence in managing their work. Middle school ages in general (kids who aren't radically accelerated) are the ages that children typically are becoming more independent in general, starting to pull away from wanting their parents involved in every minute detail of their lives, start having some reality of a life independent of parents. It seems like developmentally that it makes sense that this is also the time students begin to be given more independence in study reminders, responsibility for keeping track of homework etc. Not every child is ready at the same time, but over the broad sweep of the middle school years most children are growing and naturally want more responsibility in this area.

Our teachers use email to remind students and to send papers to them, and they don't cc parents on the email. I don't feel like it's something I need to be involved in - I see that as part of classwork with a 21st century twist. The reminders via text (from my perspective) seem to be nothing more than a reminder written on a bulletin board, and I don't go into my kids' classrooms each day to check what's written on the bulletin board.

polarbear

If you think about it, there are potential issues with any interaction between a teacher and their students. 99.99999% of all teachers are not going to abuse their ability to interact with students and are not going to want to cause harm in any way. The very few teachers who would take advantage of texting can and will most likely find a way to take advantage in a different way if texting isn't allowed.

Receiving a text from a teacher is probably one of the *last* things that would worry me that could potentially go wrong for my middle school kid

polarbear

Yeah, my child does not own any Apple products, and neither do we. My last one was one I had at work.

My 5yo Sansa MP3 player still works just fine. Why would I replace it?? I finally got a new cell phone when mine wouldn't hold a charge anymore and battery replacement was just as expensive as upgrading. (It was a five year old flip phone.) The shortest time I've ever kept a car was 10 years.

We routinely keep computers and cellular phones about twice (and in many cases, three to five times) as long as the "expected lifetime." Until a year ago, I was still using Windows 98.

This is much funnier when you realize that my DH works for a high tech company-- and that he's not alone among his colleagues.

Anyway. Just pointing out that not everyone "participates" even if they could (in theory, anyway) afford to do so. Some of us just think it's rather pointless if we don't see an actual need being filled by the trappings of modern living. I don't see much point in FB, so I'm not on FB. KWIM?

High speed internet, we pay for-- because that matters. I run a website and am involved in several other NPO activities, and my DH works from home, and my DD needs the broadband for school (which she does from home).

Yes-- but remember, my perspective here is different because I am involved in DD's day to day schooling via her virtual school. Probably not as much as some people envision... (I mean, I basically just sort of check in to make sure that work is BEING done, and that there aren't any problems anywhere) but still. Communication *mostly* needs to be cc:ed to mom and dad. That is simply how school-student communication happens around here. In *all* schools and youth activities. It's not that parents need to be INVOLVED, so much as they need to be looped into communication from the school (or youth activities). It's the parents' decision how much independence their kids are ready for and can manage on their own, that way. KWIM?

I was chiming in mostly because I see such a thing being potentially problematic even for the majority of my DD's friends who are not virtual school students, unless it were presented in a variety of formats. I mean, what's wrong with Blackboard, for heaven's sakes??

Honestly, this strikes me as technology for its own sake more than anything else. Why is this substantially better/different from e-mail or a posting on a class bulletin board?

Um, yeah, there's no way my almost TEN year old would be allowed to take mine.

I think you can get refurbished ones though, very minimal memory, etc., for lower cost. (My husband told me this in an effort to calm me down after he suggested getting each child their own!!) Fyi this hasn't happened. I don't care how cheap you can find them - overindulgence does kids a huge disservice.

That's my question to - why is it substantially different? Really it's not - which is why I don't see it as something that needs an extra level of concern.

I *do* think there needs to be access for all students - but that applies to email too if used as a communication tool.

polarbear