He said that these disorders, which he put in air quotes, had nothing to do with homework and parents still shouldn't be involved in the homework. The "disorders" simply make things "harder than" things would be with normal kids but that with a lot of hard work from the parent using the Good Behavior Game, the child should get through it by himself.
5) Kids for whom his game doesn't work need "shock collar" type consequences and reinforcers. No examples were given. My child has not responded to ANY consequences or reinforcers. It's as if it just doesn't matter to him.
In my family we try hard not to engage in name-calling, which is really a crying shame, because if it were ever warranted, it is warranted here. I am so steamed about this guy and what he is telling people that I can barely type.
He is perpetuating a fraudulent form of misinformation of a most hurtful type.
NO CHILD needs "shock collar" type consequences. Ever.
MOST children need some parental involvement in their homework process through the elementary years. With Nautigal: if I were not micromanaging this, it would not happen, ever, at all.
Air quotes? Does he think these disorders are not real, or can be disciplined out of a child?
Petunia, your kid may have lots of tricky things to cope with, and he may be a very difficult child to parent, but if someone ever tells you either (1) he is beyond help or (2) he can only be helped through abuse (and why would someone tell you both at the same time, by the way? it's nonsense), take that child in your arms and run the other way as fast as you can.
Our DS, who has a somewhat similar list of traits to your DS's (not diagnosed ODD, but plenty of oppositional behavior), has done very well with ABA therapy and consistent parenting over the years. We expect he will continue to improve-- God knows he still has plenty of room to improve-- and we think that improvement will come faster not through abuse, but through teaching him to manage himself. Children with disabilities are human beings!
My child is highly gifted, grade-accelerated, diagnosed ODD, probably ADHD, possibly ASD, no time management skills, pragrmatic language disorder, immature, and who knows what else and I'm supposed to "just work harder at positive reinforcement of small behaviors" and "don't get involved in his homework"??
I would say, short term:
--stay as involved as you need to be about homework, and as positively as you can
--yes, positively reinforce any behavior you want to see more of
--find that evaluator who can give you really clear diagnostic answers
and medium term:
--find a behavior therapist (ours is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst) who can help you work toward effective behavior change in a positive and useful way
--work toward getting school on board to help you
DeeDee
