Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Study on presenting feminine STEM role models

Parents are more concerned about effeminate boys that girls with masculine traits, as discussed in an NYT article

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/12/magazine/whats-so-bad-about-a-boy-who-wants-to-wear-a-dress.html
What’s So Bad About a Boy Who Wants to Wear a Dress?
By RUTH PADAWER
August 8, 201

...

Relatively little research on gender-nonconforming children has been conducted, making it impossible to know how many children step outside gender bounds — or even where those bounds begin. Studies estimate that 2 percent to 7 percent of boys under age 12 regularly display “cross-gender” behaviors, though very few wish to actually be a girl. What this foretells about their future is hard to know. By age 10, most pink boys drop much of their unconventional appearance and activities, either because they outgrow the desire or subsume it. The studies on what happens in adulthood to boys who strayed from gender norms all have methodological limitations, but they suggest that although plenty of gay men don’t start out as pink boys, 60 to 80 percent of pink boys do eventually become gay men. The rest grow up to either become heterosexual men or become women by taking hormones and maybe having surgery. Gender-nonconforming behavior of girls, however, is rarely studied, in part because departures from traditional femininity are so pervasive and accepted. The studies that do exist indicate that tomboys are somewhat more likely than gender-typical girls to become bisexual, lesbian or male-identified, but most become heterosexual women.

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I would not go along with my boys being too "girly".

This is a sad comment to see in a forum dedicated to supporting children who are born different, whom society does not understand and has difficulty accepting. Forcing a child to adopt a gender role isn't any different from forcing one to accept a mainstream classroom environment.

I think it is all about the parents. My mother was as "girly" as you get, spending her last dime on a new dress, shoes or hat etc.

But she was good in math before WW2, was proud of it and became a doctor. She pushed me to become a doctor, a dentist, someone in charge and expected me to be good in math. I never had doubts that it was not girlish to be smart or to do any job.

Now, I did not pursue STEM careers because I wanted to make a lot of money and I too like to dress in high heels (well used to, now, being the in-house dog walker, I wear sneakers) and DD loves her clothes (and make-up and nail polish -- when she can get away with it with her friends -- I think this starts a little young) and her Barbie's but she knows that being 2 years ahead in math is expected since she is capable at 7 turning 8. She never thinks of it as a boys' thing. And her science class at the museum is exciting and interesting. But -- she has never had a big building interest, or taking apart electronics. Either have I, but I can and do as necessary as part of my life, like putting shelves together. I don't think of it as gender roles.

I think we teach our kids all of it, and let them do what they find interesting. I took engineering and never worked as an engineer. I chose a career that let me dress up and travel the world. But engineering skills helped get there.

Ren

You can certainly try, I admire any effort to do so, however, you have to decide how much of your life you wish to do so and whether those efforts will yield enough results to justify the time you're putting into it. Good luck with that.

It's worked out great so far. And thanks for the luck-wishing, although I picked up on just a wee bit of dripping sarcasm...

Well, you interpreted it all correctly. I really DO admire it when people make attempts to change what they believe to be an injustice, it's just that there are so many that have been in place for centuries that I think time is better used on things we can have greater effect on and likely make a difference, however, each person chooses their battles and if it's what you're passionate about, who am I to think you can't do just that?

As with changing most injustices in society, I've become more and more convinced the best thing we can do is raise our children to be accepting, loving, kind, helpful, and to serve others as much as or more than they serve themselves. In my mind it's a lot more effective and more likely successful to educate a new generation than it is to try and change 3 or 4 older generations.

Agreed. I'm a terribly pragmatic person underneath all of this shiny idealism. Strange bedfellows, that.

Anyway. I also agree in being the change that you wish to see. As long as the trade-off is worth it for the individual in question, Quixotic has a lot going for it, I've found.

Eventually you let go of that pesky voice inside that tells you that everyone is staring at you, and not in a good way.

I don't always tilt at windmills, but when I do...

I wear fire-proof underthings.

This may explain why I love Gaston, though. It might also explain why dancing around in a lab coat and doing the can-can with a lab tech felt so good. LOL.

Oh, I have no grand inspirations, or more likely mis-inspirations, that I will change society. I just have no plans to allow the status quo to change my own goals or how I approach life. All we have to do is not be afraid of believing in ourselves and role-modeling for those within our own microcosm what we believe is possible. If enough people do that, things change. I have no plans to be the next Susan B Anthony - just a woman who embraces femininity and technology and whatever else inspires my passions.

Well put ABQMom, that's pretty much my mindset as well as my wife's. The best leadership is by example and modeling for children, as you said, enough people do this things change....I think faster than if people raise great shouts of injustice.