I am so glad that you all have found this approach successful. I wish I could say the same--in my experience, many teachers/coaches/adults take any discussion of how DD is different (let alone an acknowledgment by us in writing) as an admission that she should not be in that class/sport/part of the world, rather than as a constructive effort to help things work out for everyone. Indeed, the usual thinking seems to be
different kid = more trouble for me = bad --> exclude kid if at all possible. I have been very discouraged by this, and the result is that I usually try to head off any problems by finding camps, etc. where the chances of her fitting in are better--as you might imagine, this has often been hit-or-miss. But it has allowed her to participate in some things from which she would otherwise have been excluded entirely. Fortunately not everyone has that response, but I have to say that in our area (Southeast) there don't seem to be many kids who are "e," let alone 2e-ish, and there seem to be a lot of grownups who don't want to be bothered and don't see anything wrong with excluding a kid who is different.
Sorry, as usual I realize my post is not necessarily helpful--but I'm glad that you have the opportunity to write such letters and to work constructively to help your child, and maybe knowing that this is a really good thing will cheer you up as you write!
