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The special education principal has recommended that this year I send an email to each of my son's 7th Grade teachers once I receive his schedule tomorrow. She suggested that this might help them be better prepared to deal with his accommodations and start the year off better than last year.

Any suggestions on what to include and/or not to include?

I send email to each of my 2e ds's teachers every year. I give them all our contact numbers and email addresses. I also tell them that ds has an IEP, and I offer to send in a copy if they want (while most sped teachers are on the ball, not all are, and I don't want to get halfway throught the year and find out he's getting no services or that the teacher didn't know he had accomodations). I briefly describe his disability, tell them what meds are in the clinic, and explain behaviors that could get him in trouble (taking a long time in the restroom, for example) in the first few days. I try to keep it short. If the teacher writes back, I might give him/her a little more info.

We have had a meeting with the teacher before school starts each year. I usually send a little email first and so far, each teacher has requested an in-person meeting. I don't know if a meeting or a letter is better. In a letter, you can be clear and precise...but does the teacher read it? In person, you can make a more heartfelt plea that I think makes a more lasting impression.

The main thing to include is how his disability manifests in the classroom. For example, my son is wiggly, so he does better sitting on an end or even in a special desk up alone by the teacher. Another example is my son will make unconscious noises when he is bored, so the teacher needs to work out a cue to let him know he is making the noise and needs to stop. I know some kids do better with oral instructions, others with verbal instructions. Include stuff like that in the letter.

Kate

I wrote one for a meeting with DS' 6th grade team in the first person, so I "was" DS introducing myself to them (but made it clear when I sent it that I was the author.)

The first paragraph was an overview of DS' personality ("Hi, my name is . . .I am a sweet-tempered, sensitive kid who wants to do well in school.") Then I told them about DS' testing and diagnosis, giving non-clinical descriptions and real world examples of how the testing results apply in the classroom ("My strongest area is non-verbal intelligence . . . I think outside the box . . Last year I did my book report with Lego stop animation. I wrote my story about the Alamo from Santa Anna's perspective.")

I discussed both DS' LDs and how they affect DS in class("Handwriting is not automatic for me. I have to think about each letter as I write it. Copying from the board is actually painful and an extreme struggle.")

I had an explanation for how DS' LDs affect him outside of school, how he had to cut out all his extracurriculars to cope with homework, how homework takes him twice as long and he is drained most nights.

I would it up with learning style ("I think in pictures not in words. I am great with abstract concepts and problem solving. I can remember what I hear better than what I read. I can spot patterns and relationships and see the big picture.")

I was worried the teachers would think it was gimmicky but they really seemed to like it. I wanted them to really get a glimpse of how hard it is to be 2e and how hard my DS works to get the grades he wants. I think the first person makes his struggles more real and immediate for him than "My son is very smart. He is tired at night" etc. etc.

DS' tester was at the meeting and she was over the moon about this intro letter. She said it made her tear up to read it and really made her think about why she does what she does.
Good luck!

Hi, Lisa. I think I'd send some combination of the following:

* Explanation of each accommodation with an explanation why it's necessary, in case she's not fully up to speed
* Quirks of my son that might not appear in the paperwork, but would be good to know
* Lessons learned from prior years
* Information on what he's been doing over the summer and what he did last year that might help her to understand your son's advancement
* Full contact info for you at work and home if she might not already have it, with stress that you are always available if anything comes up
* Volunteering to help occasionally with class

Wonderful advice. Thank you!

I'm a writer ... and this one has had me sitting here staring at a blank email screen for quite some time.

Hi Lisa,

I don't have a direct link that I can find at the moment, but I think there is an example of how to write this type of letter either online at www.wrightslaw.org or in their "From Emotions to Advocacy" book. I do think it's a good idea - what I usually do is write the letter (brief) and deliver it in person, so I know the teacher has at least seen the piece of paper it's written on, so I have a chance to say what I really really need to say quickly in person (as a minimum) and just to make that first contact with the teacher.

I can't remember for sure what grade your ds is going into (?) but you might want to ask him for some of his thoughts re needs/accommodations/classroom impact of his disability/etc and then include that in your letter.

If it would help, I can dig around to find the letter (this exact type of letter) to give to my ds' teachers last year (going into 6th grade and going to a new school, multiple teachers based on subject). I haven't done the letter yet this year because most of his teachers he'll have already had, except for one of his advisory teachers.... so we will putting together a letter (and soon!)... but I think this year I am going to have more of it be put together by my ds with organizational help and suggestions from me.

polarbear

Hi Polarbear - I actually think I have that book; I'll look.

He's going into 7th - I edited the original post to add it there as well. It's multiple teachers, and the only one that I expect to be the same is his band teacher who has a child with Autism and thus deals wonderfully with my son - who plays drums without having learn to read the notes. She says he's good enough at keeping the rhythm and picking up what they need that she just lets him do his own thing. It was his favorite class last year. The rest will all be new ... sigh.

I just did one with lots of bullet points and photos of my ds. I tried to make it easy on the eyes and not a wall of text.

I guess I'll either send an email or try to talk to my rising 4th grader's teacher about his IEP for hearing loss. Half of his teachers inevitably tell us at the parent-teacher night that they don't believe that he is hearing impaired and that he is "faking it."
I'm always like, really? Why did we spend $3000 on a hearing aid then? Duh! The teacher had told me in May when I met her very briefly that she had "never" had a hearing impaired student in the gifted program

It took me some poking around on Hoagie's to find it, but here is an example (pdf) letter that is aimed at "non-teacher authorities" - Girl Scout leaders, coaches, etc. It may give you some ideas for addressing her teachers.

Well, I finally wrote it. In case there is anyone who might want ideas, here is what I came up with:


Hi (teacher)

I am the mother of (my kid), a 7th grader who will be in your class this year. This email is just to give you a quick overview of his IEP, his strengths and areas of challenge, and a few notes about what we found that worked well last year and what was a disaster - all in hopes of making his time in your class a much more pleasant experience for all.

Brief description and Learning Style

(Our kid) is the youngest of our children. He shares many of his siblings' traits of giftedness but also has a rather severe learning disability in the form of dysgraphia, dyslexia, and auditory processing issues that were uncovered in testing late this summer. ADHD was ruled out back when he was tested in 2nd grade and again over the summer. We are following up to get more definitive results regarding the auditory challenges and will share any recommendations we receive as they become available. 

Math has been his most challenging subject - not because he doesn't get the overall concepts but because rote memory is extremely difficult for him and keeping numbers in a straight line is also difficult. His IEP allows him to use a calculator to do rote calculations, have reduced work load of problems because he is very slow at processing each problem, and to email his assignments. We found that these three accommodations helped the most. If after working with (our kid) for some time you have other ideas or suggestions, I am happy to work with you to find work-arounds and to try new ideas to help him enjoy learning math and be successful in the process.

(our kid)'s vocabulary is extensive, his ability to think out of the box and to extrapolate on what he is learning in class means that he will often come home and continue discussing and researching about something he has learned in class. It also means that he may "zone out" during class if something sparks his interest.

Writing is difficult for (our kid), although he manages to get through most of the work presented in class. His IEP allows computer use and for separate projects that require less writing, and when this is possible without being disruptive, it is appreciated. He spends a great deal of his day dealing with his deficits rather than getting to explore his strengths because of the large amount of writing and workbook assignments that are a part of most of his classes. Copying notes from the board will also result in poor translation of what is written, so being provided a copy of class notes is usually best. We do expect him to still take his own "chicken scratch" notes so that he is engaged in the process and paying attention.

Spelling is random and arbitrary, so you may find the same word spelled two or three different ways within a single paragraph. He excels at using spell check on the computer, however, so you may not notice as many misspelled words on typed assignments. The IEP provides that spelling not be part of the grade when spelling is not what is being tested. 

And because of the auditory issues, anything that is mentioned in class such as step-by-step instructions or assignments will likely not be heard or remembered. That being said, he has excellent recall for subject matter and tends to learn logically instead of rote. He has difficulty memorizing things like times tables or the periodic table but can visualize a timeline of what things have happened over a period of years. 

(our kid) is outgoing and likes to talk with his friends. He does best if seated away from distractions and near the teacher. He doesn't always pick up on the nuance of body language or tone and, thus, may not cease to joke around even when your body language may be indicating you are finished bantering with him. If you use specific words indicating what you want from him, he is usually very willing to comply. He will follow rules, is honest even when it gets him trouble, and will argue persistently if a rule is changed arbitrarily or in a way that does not make sense to him. A firm response telling him that it is not up for discussion at the moment will usually result in his accepting the decision despite his misgivings. 

Things that worked well last year:

- Keeping a single folder for each class with two compartments - completed and to do. Anything more complex will result in papers not making it to the proper destination. (And even with this method, he lost a multitude of papers last year.)

- Copying homework assignments from the board at the beginning of class and having the teacher verify at the end of class that everything that is required for him to do is written down. Making sure that big assignments are written down with small goals rather than just an end date also works best.

- Typing and emailing assignments - where this was possible, He did not have difficulty dealing with zeros from lost or missing assignments.

- Creative assignments - he loves doing podcasts or stop action Lego movies, performs his own music and enjoys creating comic strips from the shapes available in Power Point. 

- Predictable routine and structure

Things that were a disaster last year:

- Bringing in workbook pages or class work for a grade; although the IEP allows for extra time to do the work, (our kid) will not see completed homework assignments that are right in front of him and completed and will take the zero because he thinks it isn't there

- Trying to write down assignments dictated in steps by the teacher or to remember them without writing them down. If it is mentioned in the passage of class, you can expect that he will not remember any of it and will be surprised when an assignment is due.

- Giving vague instructions when specific results are needed. For example, if you ask (our kid) to give you his opinion about an assignment, he will give you an unvarnished opinion - good or bad - because he is literal and will believe this is what you want. If what you really want is for him to summarize an assignment, it is best to let him know that. 

I've never had to write a "welcome to my kid" letter, so I'm hoping this was enough information to get you started but not so much as to overwhelm. If you see (our kid) struggling with things in class or if there is any issue at all, please feel free to reach out. While I worked hard to be more hands-off with my older two, I am finding that it is not possible yet for (our kid). He needs a stronger support system, so I am here to help in whatever way I can.

It looks like maybe you left out part of a sentence here:
I think that this needs to be closer in space to the statement that he can look right at his completed homework and not "see" it, or you're not going to get understanding.

I also think that "if you ask (our kid) to give you his opinion about an assignment," should be something like "a passage of reading" instead of "an assignment" - something more concrete will be easier to understand, even though it's a history teacher or a math teacher instead of his English teacher. Actually, that whole paragraph reads like, "if you want to give him a bullshit assignment, don't be surprised when he calls it bullshit." I think you need to be a little more diplomatic about it. I would amend to

Overall, I think this is a very good letter. I hope these suggestions help!

I am so glad that you all have found this approach successful. I wish I could say the same--in my experience, many teachers/coaches/adults take any discussion of how DD is different (let alone an acknowledgment by us in writing) as an admission that she should not be in that class/sport/part of the world, rather than as a constructive effort to help things work out for everyone. Indeed, the usual thinking seems to be
different kid = more trouble for me = bad --> exclude kid if at all possible. I have been very discouraged by this, and the result is that I usually try to head off any problems by finding camps, etc. where the chances of her fitting in are better--as you might imagine, this has often been hit-or-miss. But it has allowed her to participate in some things from which she would otherwise have been excluded entirely. Fortunately not everyone has that response, but I have to say that in our area (Southeast) there don't seem to be many kids who are "e," let alone 2e-ish, and there seem to be a lot of grownups who don't want to be bothered and don't see anything wrong with excluding a kid who is different.

Sorry, as usual I realize my post is not necessarily helpful--but I'm glad that you have the opportunity to write such letters and to work constructively to help your child, and maybe knowing that this is a really good thing will cheer you up as you write!

Dbat - your experience may well be mine this year. This is the first year I've attempted this, so only time will tell if it helped or hurt. All I know is that last year NOT telling the teachers was a colossal failure for everyone involved. All I'm really hoping for is to help a teacher think twice before assuming that my son's behavior stem from a bad attitude, laziness, etc. when the behaviors or performance does not equal what they expect.

ElizabethN - thanks for the feedback. That note about his literal replies stems directly from a rather emotional incident last year where a teacher not only gave my son a zero on an assignment but went to his other teachers and got his grade dinged for a project because my son thought she wanted to know what he thought about an assignment when that is what she asked. So it isn't telling a teacher my kid won't put up with BS assignments. The entire staff knew about the incident, so I thought it best to put it out there as to why he responded the way he did. That way their opinion may be a bit less swayed by the angry comments the teacher made last year about my kid while she was talking to other teachers in the staff lounge.

Yes, I remember the incident - I just think that you've gotten so oblique that you've started implying something else entirely. I just think you need a more concrete example.

I hope the letter does the trick, or at least makes things a little better.

ABQmom
I agree with ElizabethN. It's not clear you are referring to anything so the sentence about the zeros doesn't make sense. It's very clear otherwise and throrough - although seems to me some of the suggestions make sense for all students - particularly about assignments.

Good luck!

DeHe

Thus far, I've received three emails back. Two were "thanks, very helpful, will get in touch once I've observed him in class a couple of weeks if I have more questions" and one "I will talk to him at the end of class and let him know I negotiate with my students, so this will help put the power back in his control to negotiate with me what alternative approaches or assignments we agree on.." it looks like the school counselors really out-did themselves in placing my son this year...

Nice!

I like it! And with so much of it pertaining to my DD... mind if I borrow bits and pieces? I, too, have never written this type of letter, but I often thought that I should. It is so hard at the beginning of a new year. I feel like I need to give it a month for the teacher to get their berrings before I bombard. It is a tricky dance of advocating successfully without being viewed as a pushy/know-it-all type of mom. I think a letter like this might be a good start. This year, DD has a teacher that is new to her school. She will have a crash-course in DD (I was assured), but she will not have the benefit of hearing about her in the staff room.. maybe that is a good thing? LOL!

DBAt, Not sure where you are in the southeast but I have heard this before about that general area. It is so sad. I have heard it specifically about Alabama and Tennessee. Sorry you and your child have such trouble.

Thanks for the sympathy, marytheres We are actually in North Carolina, and there are a number of universities and intellectual types in the area, so I've been surprised that there aren't more resources for these kinds of kids locally. I should also say that DD has had several wonderful teachers who were great with her--just that it has been hit or miss, and about half the time we've ended up with someone who is unhelpful and one or two so far who have been downright mean (and have had help doing it, to my eternal disappointment). Thank goodness for those wonderful teachers as well as all the great online resources (including this forum!) or I would really be lost.

Kathleen'smum - use anything you like! This letter was so difficult to write, and from the feedback here, it wasn't a total success, but it has thus far been well received by the teachers. The goal for me was to arm them with info they could go back and read when they need it, to make them aware he had an IEP, and to keep very hands-off this early on.

Dbat (I love that my iPad always tries to correct your screen name to EBay) - I've learned that having a large population of very bright, educated people doesn't mean they know one whit about a 2E child. I've been pleasantly surprised to find out my son's lit teacher has a 2E son with dyslexia. I'm hoping this means it is a good match and that she won't presume certain things about my son's abilities since mine also has other LD's, but at least she knew what 2E meant!

Good luck to you ...

Just wanted to add a short update.

I received an email from one of his teachers tonight describing the lesson she has planned for tomorrow, after which she asked me whether my son would be ok participating with the class or if she should provide him an alternative assignment.

In all the years my kids have been at school, this has never happened this early in the school year.

I am so glad I sent the email. It has already gotten the year off to a very different start.

That's great to hear, Lisa. It really does sound like things
might work this year for your DS, and I certainly hope so.

BTW, thanks for this thread--I have been thinking quite
a bit this week about whether I should try this in some
cases in the future, and did start to draft something
just to see what it would look like. Since we're at
private school, we don't have an IEP, which would let
me just focus on the possible issues that might arise
and how best to deal with them, rather than necessarily
getting bogged down in the various proposed (mis?)diagnoses.
I still think that in our area there are a number of
people who would just be turned off by something like
this, though, so maybe it could be something I shared with
people like the teacher you're dealing with now, who
show some interest in trying to work with a different kid
and seem receptive to suggestions. Although in my experience
people have either been willing to try and generally 'get'
how to do it (and so don't really need much advice), or
they have absolutely no interest and just want us to go away.
But I'm glad it worked for you, and it's worth keeping in
mind. Thanks again, and good luck!